Teenagers stealing food

Raksha

GlasweJen wrote: »

You've got him on slimfast and yet you say he isn't hungry? I'd be eating everything in sight if I was getting forced to live on 2 milkshakes and a bit of dinner (oh and my 2 snacks of less than 100 cals).

It's #3 son whose been on Slimfast, and he's lost an amazing amount of weight and is still doing so (apart from the occasional 'not so good' day) He's doing this through choice, we are not forcing him to.

It's #2 son whose doing the majority of the stealing - taking things he has been told are not his to take.

cheepskate_2

OP,
from your post it seems like this has been going on for some time. Thus i have to summise that all the threats you give them, are not carried out.

I'm not too sure why you would ban the internet for a year as it has no relevance to the behaviour and i am assuming you have never carried this one out and would probably not carry out your threat for the year. Thus you give out empty threats, so the boys dont really think you mean it , but are just blowing off as we parents usually do.

I would inform themif there are certain food bought that you dont want touched ( if your going to bake etc ) and if it is treats then inform them that these are for everybody so an equal share must be left(letting them eat their share on day 1 if that is what they choose)its good to give choices if you know what i mean, . If this is not done and they eat ALL the goodies and dont share, then no goodies will be bought the next week , and stick to it.

I have never bothered about treats in our house as they are there to be eaten, it doesnt bother me, apart from when you go to get Lemonade for DH Bourbon and its just the flat little end bit:eek: , but i understand that everybody is different and have different opinions on goodies.

I also think ,like Viola lass that this is a disipline issue . Your children are comming to an age where they will test rules and the consequences for them, you have to make sure you win or you will face further "ignored rules"

With my DS1, i really was carefull picking my battles with him and picked the battles that i thought were more importaint to his progression into adulthood rather than just constantly moaning about everything.

BitterAndTwisted

He's selling them

Raksha

ViolaLass wrote: »

If it's not the son with a weight issue, then I stick with my suggestion that it's a discipline issue. I wasn't the best behaved kid but if my mother warned me off certain items, I just didn't touch them. It wasn't worth it.

That's the weird thing - generally he's well behaved, helps around the house (even when not asked, he will do things he sees need doing spontaneously)

I'm just struggling to find suitable 'consequences' that don't punish the whole family, especially as we are all struggling at the moment.

WhiteHorse

Simply explain that there is no chocolate cake today because someone took the ingredients. Point out that if it continues, there will be no point in buying further ingredients. Thus, there will soon be nothing at all.

jamespir

cant you buy cheap value nuts and put them into a tin that he is alowwed to have

BitterAndTwisted

If he's been caught stuffing his school bag with the goodies I think he's buying popularity with his chums.

One way to deal with the helping himself but not depriving everyone else in the family would be make the goodies and he has to watch everyone else enjoying them in front if him until he gets the message.

pupsicola

jamespir wrote: »

no its not its just a question

You seriously think its okay to insinuate that something untoward is going on to make the OPs kids want to comfort eat. It wasn't just a question and if you cant see that you are blind

7891368

I think your attitude to being a 'household' is confusing.

He chips into housework you say without being asked.
Food is bought presumably for the household to benefit yet there are some restrictions.

If he isn't eating what you put infront of him, as you appear to suggest maybe discuss why; you say you're a good cook, but we all don't like certain things.

Also bear in mind he's 13, he will eat a lot, growing lad and all.

In my house (I'm 19 and live at home when I'm not at uni) we are free to take what we please unless it is on a certain shelf for x purpose. My Mum also makes a point of, I bought this so we can have this on this day. If not it may look like you're buing treats and things for yourself.

Finally, I'd be annoyed my Mum called it stealing. It's a strong word and he's 13, normally associated to more 'criminal' offences.

Taking some nuts from home isn't the same as stealing from a shop is it.

Just request that he asks when he wants something specific, or have a box for 'treats/snacks' which is what he may take at leisure.

My Mum's friend had 4 boys, each saturday they'd get their box filled up with a padlock (so they didn't borrow from each other ) and they could eat when they pleased through the week.

Sorry about the long post!

GlasweJen

I seriously object to the "stealing" accusations. From the OP and some of her other posts there are some major issues in the house and the OP should be focusing on those and not on a few nuts going missing out of the cupboard, especially as both kids are at it and yet 1 is getting blamed over the other.