Sharing chores...

sassyblue

jackieglasgow wrote: »

James you are a wind up merchant. People our grandparents age dont tend to divorce as they still has a misconceived notion that no matter what, marriage is for life, and they (especially the women) tend to put up with a lot of nonsense abuse and bad behaviour on the part of their partners. Not all, but many! And a lot of them have divorced - my grandmother was married twice as an example. I am a great believer in marriage, and for me marriage was for life, but if my partner was behaving unnacceptably towards me and the situation couldn't be resolved, I would have no hesitation in ending the relationship. Not taking equal share in the housework does not come into that category.

Quite a catch!! He's very entertaining though isn't he? :rotfl:

Brighton_belle

Ouch Sassyblue - my post wasn't sanctimoneous, it in defence of the OP, just like you, when someone had slagged her off for home cooking as a'hobby' when you could buy ready made stuff in the supermarket. Mum's need to do things the way they can manage be it ready made or home cooked, but to run someone down for home cooking just seemed really odd.

Violetta_2

JodyBPM wrote: »

I was just assuming that him being grumpy about it meant that he thought I should be doing it, which isn't the case:)

Phew- always worth remembering just because someone is in a grumpy mood , it doesn't mean you are the cause.

donquine

JodyBPM wrote: »

Does everyone else feel that DH should be completely free of housework because I work part-time? I'm fairly suprised by that!

I think if one person is working part time and the other full time, the part timer should do more of the chores, certainly, but not all of them!

Is it the amount of chores that gets your OH down, or is the type of chores? Would swapping some of your 'jobs' make things more bearable for him? Would you be up for this?

Maybe you could do the lunches and he could do a chore that could be done earlier in the day? (My preference would not be to defrost sandwiches each night and/or make sandwiches in the early evening, because I think they taste much nicer when made as last minute as possible - your OH maybe shares the same point of view, hence why he does this task at night.)

swiss69

We both work full time so have a cleaner and a gardener. Of the rest I would say she does 70% and I do 30%. I am lucky

If I was your husband I would expect you to do the majority if you had 3 days to do it in.

KiKi

JodyBPM wrote: »

Does everyone else feel that DH should be completely free of housework because I work part-time? I'm fairly suprised by that!

I personally think it depends *how* part-time someone is, and how much housework needs doing. As long as both partners are doing a relatively equal share in either bringing in an income, working in the home, or both, then I think it's fine.

So if one partner works a 10 hour day full-time, and the other partner works an 8 hour day twice a week - but the housework only amounted to 12 hours a week in total, then yes, I think the part-time partner should do it all; they're still doing less than the full-time person in total.

If, on the other hand, there are 40 hours of housework to be done a week, then of course the full time partner should chip in.

I don't count bathing kids as a chore, though, or eating dinner etc. That's just family time!

Glad you had a good chat with him, though.

KiKi

mountainofdebt

I must admit I'm another one in the don't-understand-this-his-and-her-chores camp.

As far as OH and I are concerned, there are household chores to be done and it's a case of whose ever has time to do them, does them.

I enjoy ironing whilst listening to the radio so I do it on the weekend, but if push come to shove OH would do it.

OH is a great cook and is not allergic to the vacuum cleamer / duster

Personally having set chores wouldn't work for us but can see how it would cause problems.

Kaz2904

I feel really bad reading this because I'm on my last of 6 nights (yay) tonight and DH has spent every evening decorating DDs bedroom. He also did a few loads of washing at the weekend whilst I was in bed. I've been so tired when I've got home in the mornings that I've headed straight to bed without a thought for packed lunches.
He hasn't complained at all though. Probably because I've done everything else. I get up at 2.45, go and get the kids from shool and come home to have breakfast and make tea. I've folded all the washing and got kids to put our stuff on our bed and theirs away. I haven't done the ironing but he's had a cooked meal each night.
I would love to be a domestic goddess but sadly I'm not! I think we work well together though. He's desdperately trying to finish DD's bedroom off as carpet is being laid Saturday. The downstairs loo and utility had black mould growing on the walls due to damp and now we have got a dehumidifier and solved the problem, I have bleached the walls and painted with the stain block. I'll get up early tomorrow and paint the loo and then when he comes home at lunch time he can take my car back to work. I will fill his with rubbish and take it to the tip then go and fetch the kids.
I'll then make some tea in between taking DD to her disco and trying to remember to go and buy wrapping paper. He'll come home and eat tea, then continue with the decorating whilst I start on the ironing or something. If I'm too tired and do nothing he won't complain because I'll keep him supplied with endless coffee and sparkling banter. He won't complain because he knows that I'll do it the next day and I will work solidly all day until it's done.
Do wish I'd thought to make the sarnies just once for him though

sassyblue

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Ouch Sassyblue - my post wasn't sanctimoneous, it in defence of the OP, just like you, when someone had slagged her off for home cooking as a'hobby' when you could buy ready made stuff in the supermarket. Mum's need to do things the way they can manage be it ready made or home cooked, but to run someone down for home cooking just seemed really odd.

Ooops sorry Brighton Belle xx

Mojisola

Kaz2904 wrote: »

I feel really bad reading this because I'm on my last of 6 nights (yay) tonight and DH has spent every evening decorating DDs bedroom. He also did a few loads of washing at the weekend whilst I was in bed. I've been so tired when I've got home in the mornings that I've headed straight to bed without a thought for packed lunches.
He hasn't complained at all though. Probably because I've done everything else. I get up at 2.45, go and get the kids from shool and come home to have breakfast and make tea. I've folded all the washing and got kids to put our stuff on our bed and theirs away. I haven't done the ironing but he's had a cooked meal each night.
I would love to be a domestic goddess but sadly I'm not! I think we work well together though. He's desdperately trying to finish DD's bedroom off as carpet is being laid Saturday. The downstairs loo and utility had black mould growing on the walls due to damp and now we have got a dehumidifier and solved the problem, I have bleached the walls and painted with the stain block. I'll get up early tomorrow and paint the loo and then when he comes home at lunch time he can take my car back to work. I will fill his with rubbish and take it to the tip then go and fetch the kids.
I'll then make some tea in between taking DD to her disco and trying to remember to go and buy wrapping paper. He'll come home and eat tea, then continue with the decorating whilst I start on the ironing or something. If I'm too tired and do nothing he won't complain because I'll keep him supplied with endless coffee and sparkling banter. He won't complain because he knows that I'll do it the next day and I will work solidly all day until it's done.
Do wish I'd thought to make the sarnies just once for him though

This says it all - it's teamwork!