Sharing chores...

mummyroysof3

i am a stay at home with 3 children aged 5 and under, as i dont work i do pretty much everything in our house, i may ask hubby to do things but its not always worth it for the hassle it causes lol. If i worked 2 days a week then all i would be doing on those 2 days is washing breakfast pots then an easy meal and washing pots again(or not as i have a dishwasher) if no one has been in the house all day i cant see it will get dirty, i hope you dont take offence but it sounds as if you have very high standards for your home, which isnt always a bad thing but it does seem to be causing some problems here, maybe its time to have a rethink of the routine in your house to releave so of the stress.

hope you get it sorted x

JodyBPM

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

"Damn good parents" dont class playing with their children a chore !
They also dont class cooking for their children a chore !

I just dont agree with you on the chores front...i mean..you make your husband make packed lunches for both you and the children?

You make him iron his own work shirts ? The childrens uniform ?

To me thats all part of being a good wife and mum....but then im not the one who wrote "Im a damn good parent" (self praise and all that lol)

I don't see playing with the children as a chore, I enjoy it. But its something that takes up a lot of time. Even stuff like the school runs takes up time, probably about 5 hours a week. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, or have a problem with it, but its all stuff that uses up time. I also enjoy cooking and (to an extent) cleaning. But all this stuff needs to be considered with regard to the division of household task, because it all takes time, even if I enjoy it!

I think the one thing that people seem to be missing is that I keep the weekends largely clear so that we can have family time. Its snowing here today, so we are lighting the fire, and spending the day playing board games with the children as a family. Obviously I will still need to do some cooking, and the beds will need making etc, but at the weekends I don't do washing, changing beds, scrubbing toilets etc as I would prefer to spend time with the family. DH doesn't have any chores to do at the weekend either, bar the ironing on a Sunday night. This family time is a luxury we have together because I work part time!

Everything if fine with DH and I, we've had a chat and he's just tired, and Christmas stuff was getting on top of him a bit.

The reason I keep answering this thread is because I'm so suprised at the number of responses that seem to suggest that men shouldn't lift a finger at home! I'm really taken aback by some of the dated attitudes! I wonder if I would feel differently if DH did a manual job, and was coming home physically exhaused?

Incidently, I don't judge whether or not someone is a good mum by whether or not they iron school uniform or make packed lunches for their children. The reason I think I am a good mum is because I spend time with them, reading, playing, crafting etc. I can do that because DH helps out a bit. Doing the ironing and packed lunches and not spending any time interacting with them would make me a poor mum in my eyes!

grey_lady

I don't think people are saying that your oh shouldn't lift a finger at home, I think what they are saying is that your idea of what has to be done every week is probably a bit over the top and they aren't surprised he's fed up with it. Have you thought about cutting back a bit, school dinners for instance to save time on packed lunches, let your other half buy a sandwich a couple of times a week, it's good to get away from a desk at lunchtimes, a cleaner who would also do some ironing, and believe me the sky won't fall in if beds don't get made, 10 seconds straightening the pillows and duvets, and the kids should be doing their own if they are old enough. Oh and if you haven't got a dishwasher then get one, saves hours of washing up.

Spendless

JodyBPM wrote: »

I don't see playing with the children as a chore, I enjoy it. But its something that takes up a lot of time. Even stuff like the school runs takes up time, probably about 5 hours a week. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, or have a problem with it, but its all stuff that uses up time. I also enjoy cooking and (to an extent) cleaning. But all this stuff needs to be considered with regard to the division of household task, because it all takes time, even if I enjoy it!

I think the one thing that people seem to be missing is that I keep the weekends largely clear so that we can have family time. Its snowing here today, so we are lighting the fire, and spending the day playing board games with the children as a family. Obviously I will still need to do some cooking, and the beds will need making etc, but at the weekends I don't do washing, changing beds, scrubbing toilets etc as I would prefer to spend time with the family. DH doesn't have any chores to do at the weekend either, bar the ironing on a Sunday night. This family time is a luxury we have together because I work part time!

Everything if fine with DH and I, we've had a chat and he's just tired, and Christmas stuff was getting on top of him a bit.

The reason I keep answering this thread is because I'm so suprised at the number of responses that seem to suggest that men shouldn't lift a finger at home! I'm really taken aback by some of the dated attitudes! I wonder if I would feel differently if DH did a manual job, and was coming home physically exhaused?

Incidently, I don't judge whether or not someone is a good mum by whether or not they iron school uniform or make packed lunches for their children. The reason I think I am a good mum is because I spend time with them, reading, playing, crafting etc. I can do that because DH helps out a bit. Doing the ironing and packed lunches and not spending any time interacting with them would make me a poor mum in my eyes!

I think it's easy to forget that 'office type' jobs are tiring too, usually in a mental exhaustion way that's not as noticeable as physical exhaustion.
I don't think you sound lazy or un-organised at all. I think the opposite, you have high standards and to maintain them, you have to time-table them. This works for you. Your husband doesn't sound as orgainsed as you are. Maybe he needs to put 'his jobs' into a routine that he doesn't feel 'oh no' about them. I hate doing pack ups just before bed, but making them earlier in the evening doesn't bother in the same way.