Sharing chores...

sueeve

He used to do the ironing 'for me' even when it was his shirts. and we both worked full time + me briging home hours of work some evenings. (No prizes for guessing my job) No more though. He irons without being asked and doesn't call it 'for me'. But it did take over 40 years to get there. And yes, it always annoyed me.

[Deleted User]

I had this line of thought in between my two children. I was pregnant and had an under 1 and out one evening, can't remember where but it wasn't a "jolly". Anyway came home and DH said "I've put a load of washing on for you".

My reply was "why is yours still in the laundry basket then?" DH appeared quite confused until he realised what he said and yes the laundry basket was clear.

On the rare occassions my DH is required to look after our two for a day at the weekend, he admits he can only do that, he can't cook, clean, shop and multitask in the same way i can. Its either kids or house (and that's only seeing the things he sees).

So really its better that he works full time and i;m mummy otherwise i'd be doing a FT job and home/child care.

candygirl

Give him a slap round the face with a wet fish hun:j:j

Person_one

Some interesting reading:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article2241733.ece

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1424339.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6382429.stm

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2007/dec/06/educationsgendergap.gender

Johnny_Barnes10

Let him make his own lunch, you sort the kids out. Then split the other "chores", depending on how much time you have. Or let him tell you what he wants for his lunch and you do it, and in return he helps more, defo sounds like you need more time to yourselves though. When I was with my ex she's do all the cooking, lunches etc but I'd wash up (after every meal), and do some ironing when needed.

no-oneknowsme

JodyBPM wrote: »

But what about when I do a full-time day at work, which I do, along with a commute 2 days a week. Should I just put my feet up when I get home as well, leaving the (4 &5yr old) children to feed themselves, make their own packed lunches, tidy the house, feed the cats, run the hoover round, sort out the washing etc?

JodyBPM wrote: »

So 2 out of the 5 nights he has to make sandwiches, we've BOTH been at work. 1 is Sunday night, where we've BOTH been at home, and 2 are nights where he has been at work, but I have been at home. When I am at home, I am on the go from 6.55 am until around 8.30pm. Granted, some of the time is spent doing fun things like reading with the children, doing crafts with them, baking etc, but still I am busy, busy, on the go with often no more than 5 mins to myself for a quick sandwich the whole time. I'm not sat on my bottom in front of Jeremy Kyle. That's compared to DH's hour commute in the morning (seated, watching DVDs on his personal DVD player on the train, FULL HOUR for lunch, plus another hour commute watching DVDs and a mere 7 hours at work!

I can't believe how many people have such outdated views which completely devalue women! I'm so glad that my DH isn't like that!

Not meaning to be disrespectful at all but just want to point this out to you :

There are seven days in one week...you say that you work two days per week is that correct ?

Well , my opinion is that if you try to get a little bit more organised then on the two days that you are working , you wouldnt need to come home to QUOTE tidy the house , do the washing , run the hoover round etc !

Would it not make more sense to do all of these chores on the five days that you are off work ?

I understand that you have children so before you reply with "oh but my house needs hoovered because of the kids" , i also have kids (3 of them) but my house doesnt need hooving every day !

I also find that i have days that i do not need to do washing and i have three teenagers who accumulate much more washing than toddlers lol.

You will find that an organised household wont suffer from two days out of seven were chores are not done.

As to having to do the "unavoidable" things like dinners and feeding the cat on the days you work.....cant you just make something quick on those two days ? Im sure it wouldnt be too hard to bung some chicken nuggets and oven chips into the oven when you get home , whilst they are cooking you have time to feed the cat and make packed lunches for the next day , this means that by the time you all sit down for dinner the chores have been done which leaves the rest of the night free for relaxing.

No kids need bathed every night , a good wash down takes 5 mins and is just as effective.

Personally i think you are stressing out over nothing .

Nowadays a high percentage of mums work . Of course it gets a bit tough at times but we have all been there.

With a bit more organisation both yourself and your partner could be relaxing on the sofa together by the time the soaps come on at 7pm lol.:rotfl:

KxMx

Are your kids old enough to make their own packed lunches (under a little supervision) ? Me and my brother did ours when we were both at Primary school.

The parent who's turn it is to cook can easily lend an eye with little extra effort while they are all in the kitchen.

no-oneknowsme

OP says her kiddies are 4+5 years old so not quite old enough to make the packed lunches.

Personally i make the packed luches for my 2 kids who take them in the morning. That way the luches are fresher . Takes me all of two mins to throw together two lunches.

tiamai_d

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

No kids need bathed every night , a good wash down takes 5 mins and is just as effective.

Twice a week the OP said, not every night.

The husband is complaining about making packed lunches at night. That is all he has to do daily. It has nothing to do with organisation.

You appear to be very rude.

I thought I should bold and underline that to bring it to your attention.

JodyBPM

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

Not meaning to be disrespectful at all but just want to point this out to you :

There are seven days in one week...you say that you work two days per week is that correct ?

Well , my opinion is that if you try to get a little bit more organised then on the two days that you are working , you wouldnt need to come home to QUOTE tidy the house , do the washing , run the hoover round etc !

Would it not make more sense to do all of these chores on the five days that you are off work ?

I understand that you have children so before you reply with "oh but my house needs hoovered because of the kids" , i also have kids (3 of them) but my house doesnt need hooving every day !

I also find that i have days that i do not need to do washing and i have three teenagers who accumulate much more washing than toddlers lol.

You will find that an organised household wont suffer from two days out of seven were chores are not done.

As to having to do the "unavoidable" things like dinners and feeding the cat on the days you work.....cant you just make something quick on those two days ? Im sure it wouldnt be too hard to bung some chicken nuggets and oven chips into the oven when you get home , whilst they are cooking you have time to feed the cat and make packed lunches for the next day , this means that by the time you all sit down for dinner the chores have been done which leaves the rest of the night free for relaxing.

No kids need bathed every night , a good wash down takes 5 mins and is just as effective.

Personally i think you are stressing out over nothing .

Nowadays a high percentage of mums work . Of course it gets a bit tough at times but we have all been there.

With a bit more organisation both yourself and your partner could be relaxing on the sofa together by the time the soaps come on at 7pm lol.:rotfl:

I am organised - hyper organised to be honest, and my house is spotless despite have two small children, and I would like to keep it that way. I don't think I could be more organised if I tried!

I would NOT feed the children nuggets and chips as an evening meal:eek:. They have pack ups at lunchtime, so in the evening they need a proper cooked meal,with fresh veg etc, not processed carp overloaded with salt! They are only 4 and 5, enough time for them to eat rubbish when they're teenagers, but not at this age!

I organise my time so that I am free of washing and much housework over the weekend so that we can spend quality family time together. Maybe, as a woman, I should sacrifice my weekends to ensure that DH doesn't have to spend 10 minutes a day making pack-ups!

I do a LOT, LOT more than most woman do, I keep a spotless house, I cook good quality healthy food all from scratch, I spend a lot of time interacting with my children, playing with them, reading with them, I help out with the school community and I work (albeit part-time) in a responsible job which contributes significantly to the family finances. And yet some people seem to think that I am lazy or disorganised just because I ask my husband to make the packed lunches! Good Grief!

I have at no point said that I don't recognise that I am fortunate to work part time, or have I said that I can't find time to make the packed lunches if I wanted to. My point was that I felt that since I do the housekeeping AND work that DH should do some (very minimal) chores in the house too. Ie we both share the housework and we both share the wage earning. Not 50/50 obviously as I don't work as many hours as him, but why should I do 100% of the housework PLUS 28.6% of the wage earning hours, leaving him to do 0% of the housework and 71.4% of the wage earning hours? Hardly fair is it? Trust me, if he was to do 28.6% of the housework it would be MUCH, MUCH more than making a set of pack-ups!

In 2010 do people really still think of woman as second class citizens that should run themselves into the ground so that their husbands can put their feet up?