Sharing chores...

madtrekker

I think you're quite lucky that DH does so much really.

In our household DH works 5 days a week and has a long (1hr each way) commute to work. He leaves the house at 7am, returns at 5:45pm and his chores are:

*Makes own packed lunch usually (I sort mine and DDs)
*Helps me with washing / wiping up after dinner
*Baths / washes DD (10 months) and gets her ready for bed
*Sometimes puts in / hangs up a washload
*Occassional hoovering
*Cooks the odd meal (omelette & chips!)
*Bins out once a week
*Gardening (it's his hobby though)
*Tip run when necessary
*DIY / odd jobs

I think this is fair given the time he's out the house. I have no problem with him coming in and relaxing with TV / computer / whatever (which he does when DD has gone to bed at around 7pm).

I work 3 days a week out of the house (from 8:30 - 4:30). The days I'm at home, I take care of our 10 month old DD. Plus, as I'm technically full-time, I have to find approx. 16 hrs a week of "working from home" time (evenings, a bit in the day-time when at home and at weekends).

My "chores" are:

*Most of the laundry (washing, drying, ironing)
*Clean bathroom
*Clean kitchen, oven etc
*Mop floors
*Hoover regularly
*Meal planning and grocery shopping (either online or in person)
*Dusting / polishing
*All household finances
*Christmas planning /shopping / birthday present shopping etc
*Baking and breadmaking (appreciate this is my choice rather than buy shop-stuff)
*Most of the cooking (I choose to cook from scratch)
*Making meals for the baby (again, from scratch)

I can't imagine struggling to get the chores done if I had c. 15 hrs a week on my own. I manage to do them while entertaining a baby with help from DH as above.

Violetta_2

Even if you were a stay at home mum I would expect hubby to do his bit around the house.
If my oh grumps about having to do the bin's or something I offer to swap for toilet cleaning, he's never taken me up on it yet.

newyearnewstart_2

consider yourself lucky!!

both myself and OH work full time, he has ONE job - do the dishwasher...

would you believe I do this 90% of the time! He'll often start it and walk off hence his nickname 'half job'

I also do ALL the DIY around the house including resealing the bath when HE broke it :eek:

But, you know what, I'm happy and wouldn't want him any other way :cool:

tiamai_d

If the OP should be thinking herself lucky that her hubby does some stuff, does that mean we should just give up on eqality in the home?

Should we just not expect any help at all from our other halfs?

We either work full time along with them (and usually this also means we are responsible for the children getting to and from childcare/school) and then they have to help out or we work part time and do everything at home too.

That is messed up.

Tell you what I would do if I was the OP. I'd go to work full time (since she has stated she makes more over the 2 days than he does over 5) and make him a house husband. Then he would be doing everything at home and I would be going home to a hot meal and the relaxing on the sofa all night.

Spendless

JodyBPM wrote: »

Sorry, we do manage to get them done! Just DH is whinging, mainly about doing the packed lunches! To be honest, I could do them, but I guess I feel that I do most of the stuff, and its only fair he has some jobs to do.

DH's evenings go : home from work, dinner, bath children, put children to bed together (we do one child each, in turns), watch tv/play wii/go on internet, THEN huff about making packed lunches, make them, go to bed! At the moment there is also stuff like xmas presents to put in the loft etc to do.

My evenings (from dh's return) go: serve up dinner, eat dinner, clear up from dinner whilst dh is bathing children, put load of washing on,put children to bed with DH, tidy up living room, sweep around downstairs, put washing on rads to dry, feed cats, DONE - feet up. At the moment, also some present wrapping, christmas present making etc.

We (well I, really) do a lot of chores, because I'm super clean and tidy (slightly obsessive!), I can't relax unless everything is in its place! BUT, I would say that I am the one who does the extra work because of that - I don't think DH has much to do at all?

I don't think there is anything else to the story? I do think DH is tired as he gets up early every day, has a long commute to work, and there have been extra christmas related things to do. But if he asked me nicely to do the packed lunches once in a while, I would, but the huffing and grousing is doing my head in!

Having had a very similar [STRIKE]sulk[/STRIKE] conversation from my DH last night, I'm tempted to say this ^^^. What about a compromise? For the remainder of term-time (end of week?) you'll do/help with packed luches or they go on school dinners. That's what I told my youngest-dinners till end of term. If stopping on pack ups, get some pre-packed stuff in, so you are throwing into lunchbags carton of juice, box of raisins, individually wrapped cake bar etc and just making a sandwich for each lunchbag.

Good luck. My hubby threw a wobbler cos I asked him to drop off a charity bag at the school playground he was going to anyway!!!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

jamespir

he works five days a week where as you only works 2 so it wouldnt hurt you to do all the chores and he help out when he can

Oldernotwiser

When do the two of you go out together and have an adult life? Perhaps this is what your husband is really cheesed off about?

****kara****

I think imo that whatever chores your OH does it will not be enough (this is not a dig at you:) ) but you have admitted yourself that you are obsessive when it comes to housework. Your house could be clean and tidy for most people but not satifactory according to you if you know what I mean?. I think he does do his fair share especially with him working longer hours then you but thats jmo

[Deleted User]

Hi,

forget about the chores for a night, get the kids to bed, sit down with a bottle of wine and chill in front of the fire, you can have a lot of fun in front of the fire,,,,,,mind the sparks. :rotfl:

supa-girl

Wow, some of these posts are harsh! :eek:

I am a sahm and my DH works full time but he still hlps me with chores, otherwise I would be on the go from the crack of dawn until midnight. We have 5 children, all under 10 so there is a lot to be done. 2 of the children are at home in the day, so it's not as though I can get on with things easily.

My DH has a modern attitude and is happy to pitch in. We don't have set chores, we just do what needs to be done between us until it is done. He likes to cook but isn't keen on ironing so he will cook 2 or 3 times a week while I wade through the ironing mountain with my fave tv programmes on for company.

Sometimes he is exhausted after a tough day and I'll do the lions share in the evening and sometimes I am so he will. Sometimes we both are and those days we draw strwars to go to the chippy!

Seriously thouh, why should the OP do EVERYTHING in the home? Isn't a marriage a partnership? Shouldn't both parties be happy?

OP perhaps your OH has an issue with the actual chores rather than helping out. We make a job lot of sarnies in our house and freeze them - you will be amazed at how much easier this is. Perhaps you could mix the chores up a bit and do different ones and maybe you could both have an evening off once a week too, to just chill out and do your own thing?

Keep talking and ignore some of the harsher posts on here. You are both entitled to some downtime, you guys just need to work out a compromise so you can both have that.

SG