Hospital wouldn't reveal sex of baby at 20 week scan

Kit_Kat_Kate

The point of the scan isn't to tell you the sex its too see if everything is ok.

LilacPixie

We found out with DD1 and 2 and we planned to this time but baby decided he/she was a bit shy and would not let us have a look. I must admit I do not like not knowing. Only option availible to us is a private scan, not sure if we will be doing that yet

With DD1 and 2 we told nobody they were girls until the actual birth, we liked the naming of the baby and bonding with them as a girl before *everyone else* knew she was a girl. This time is just strange, we have no name lined up, nursery bedding cot pram etc is neutral anyway as it was for DD1 and 2 but for us its just strange.

smartie12

Even if the hospital is able to tell parents to be the sex sometimes it's just not possible! We really wanted to know the sex but even after having well over 10 scans (problematic pregnancy) they couldn't see baby's "bits"!!

I will admit now I'm glad we didn't know but at the time I was having an awful pregnancy, wasn't bonding with Bump so thought knowing would help.

I had to have a planned c section which sadly went wrong BUT when I finally got to see my little baby girl a few hours after her birth it was such an amazing surprise to have a pink one!!!:D

OrkneyStar

Have read both your posts OP and have the following to add:
Same policy up here.
The purpose of a 20 week scan is to check for any anomolies in babies development- I trust all is well ?
Why do you need to know the sex ? TBH they always say, even if they do give an indication, that it is not 100% anyway.
We loved the not knowing and were so happy to find out he was a boy when he was born!
All the best for the birth and following months x
ETA a cheap but effective way of getting some pink or blue to make it obvious what sex bubs is is to get neutral sleep suits, vests etc but buy some pink and blue bibs/mitts/hats then you can make it obvious what sex they are.....cheap enough to not be wasting money. Other option is to buy one suit in each colour but keep tags on and use wrong colour as a gift/e-bay it!

threemuttleys

we didnt know the sex of our baby (one of those weird couples, who just did not want to know) but for some very odd reason, a lot of the clothes we bought were very boy, and we could only think of Boy names we liked, even when I was in labour, we were debating girls names.

TBH not knowing doesnt make any difference. We decorated the nursery in unisex colours (has a jungle theme) bought loads of babygros/sleepsuits from the supermarkets (they are mainly white) as someone else said, they get covered in puke/poo/wee so funky clothes are not really needed, and out grow everything so quickly its not worth worrying too much about the early stuff.

Chill out, and enjoy the pregnancy, and the time you have as just a couple

brians_daughter

I will just add to this the 'mental distress' in some ways an incorrect gender predication can cause.

With our 1st we were so excited at being preg we had little intention of finding out the sex. However we were asked outright at the scan would we like to know the sex as 'they had a really good view'..we looked at each other and nodded at each other very excited. We were told we were expecting a girl..we asked how sure they were, and the reply was 'there is no male bits and there are 3 lines which is 100% a girl in my experience'.

So, on our merry way we went obviously via mothercare, asda, marks and spencers stocking up on pink frilly items....we named 'her', bought clothes for 'her', sang to 'her', knitted pink blankets for 'her'

Anyway, at 40 weeks plus 14days 'she' was born... a boy. Obviously we were happy he was healthy but Jessica was no longer, as daft as it sounds i mourned for a daughter i never had the right to mourn over. As a result it took me a while to really bond with my son and i attribute 100% of it down to the fact the sonographer was incorrect in her prediction. He had to be taken away to re-sus as soon as he was born and for many months i wondered if they had brought the wrong baby back to us as we were so sure he was a she.

With DS2, DS3 and this one we have remained neutral. We are quite sure we are expecting a girl this time as we have had numerous growth scans and baby has always been spoken about as 'she' or 'her' but we are trying to take that with a pinch of salt.

Now, there will be ppl on here who think our reaction was silly and we should have been thankful of a happy healthy baby and i can assure you we were, but the bonding process was impacted due to the incorrect sexing prediction.. and IMO its worth pointing out that they are never 1100% correct and to highlight the issues an incorrect sexing scan can cause

littlepinky84

I found out with my 1st 2 (both boys) and wanted to with my 3rd but baby was crossed legged through my 20 week scan and a further one at 32 weeks to check placenta and babys growth. So i put in my birth plan that i only wanted my dp to tell me the sex of our baby not a mw. The moment he said we have a daughter and had tears in his eyes was one of the best moments we have ever shared.

Hospitals do have there reasons for not telling and yes it can be a disappointment but just think of the excitement of telling people its a ....... and all the guessing games everyone will play

OrkneyStar

threemuttleys wrote: »

we didnt know the sex of our baby (one of those weird couples, who just did not want to know) but for some very odd reason, a lot of the clothes we bought were very boy, and we could only think of Boy names we liked, even when I was in labour, we were debating girls names.

Ditto lol, I bought neutral stuff but the odd blue thing, and kept saying 'well a boy or girl can wear blue'- also a few boys names we loved, not many girls names.

Loopy_Girl

When I was pregnant in 2001, you got 1 scan at 12 weeks - and that was it:eek: (it has changed now and we do get the 20 week scan and I know they give out the sex of the baby which is also new as when I was there for my scans - I needed a growth one at 38 weeks - the signs were plastered all over the walls telling you not to ask). In fact I remember when having my 38 week growth scan I said to the nurse NOT to let anything slip out and to be neutral - I also didn't look when she was scanning me.

I'd came this far - another few weeks wouldn't kill me!!

I think it's a very personal choice. If I ever had another baby I still wouldn't want to know even though my best friend thinks I am mad!! There are very very few genuine surprises in life and this is one of them I feel.

I think it's another American thing that has came over here...they always get told so it's the 'norm' over here that we get told.

p.s I did 'feel' I was having a girl and was quite open that I wanted a girl and even went as far as buying a boo-yoo-ti-ful satin tartan dress for Christmas (bump was due in October).....thankfully it was a girl that was wearing it on Christmas Day!!!;)

smartie12

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Ditto lol, I bought neutral stuff but the odd blue thing, and kept saying 'well a boy or girl can wear blue'- also a few boys names we loved, not many girls names.

I bought blue sleepsuits and socks and the neutral stuff we had was more "boyish". Oh and I called bump he.... ooops!! I'm sure Daisy will forgive me one day!:D

DH "knew" from day 1 that we were having a girl. He reminds me every day that he was right! *sigh*:rotfl:

I forgot to say that there are some lovely neutral baby things around:)