Hospital wouldn't reveal sex of baby at 20 week scan

ncsmummy

With our eldest now 9 we found out at the 20 week scan that he was a boy and it was nice to know however our youngest now 6 they couldnt see as she had her legs crossed!!!! We bought a few bits and pieces of neutral clothing (aready had lots of boy clothes stored up!!) and it was such a lovely surprise when she was born!! Everyone bought us dresses/girlie clothing when she was born anyway so it was fine!!

Fuzzy_Duck

Honestly my feelings are that everyone would be better off just waiting and having a nice surprise like everyone did before we had fancy scans.

You don't need to go out and buy a bunch of blue or pink clothing- buy white/green/yellow/printed clothes which are neutral colours. As already mentioned the clothes are going to get filthy pretty quickly and the baby will grow out of them before you know it, so there's no point buying anything especially nice until they're a bit older.

My parents had two boys before me and guessed they might get another boy. When I was born a girl they dressed me in my brother's blue clothes for a bit before my mum realised she could go buy some pink frilly things to dress me in. My point being is that there's little point being so prepared- just buy things suitable for either gender and look forward to having a surprise, where you can then buy whatever blue or pink items you please.

Fact is it's all a load of nonsense anyway- pink used to be the traditional colour for boys after all, and a baby doesn't care what you dress them in. I certainly wasn't affected by wearing boy clothes early in life and it worked out a lot cheaper for my parents reusing the baby clothes

anderson8

this will be the hospital i get my 20 week scan early next year.
i dont want to know the sex. but it is interesting as my sister who lives down south has found out the sex of her first two and will be finding out the sex of the one she is pregnant with at the moment in a few weeks.

shellsuit

ricey420 wrote: »

I'd just like to say thanks to everyone who's replied here with wellwishes and general advice - to have almost 25 replies so quickly is astonishing and I'm grateful to everyone for their input.

Don't get me wrong, we are both delighted that nothing has came up and that there no anamolies. So by comparison, our wee moan here isn't all that significant.

It's just we were a wee bit disappointed ... what ClareEmily said she was told was all we were looking for.

However I have to say that it puts it in perspective when people have said that they have been not as lucky as us with news from their 20 week scan, and our worries of "what do we buy" and "how do we prepare" are so irrelevant in comparison. You have our sympathy also for what it's worth - I couldn't even imagine how difficult it would be to embrace such news and you have my respect for that.

If what Anne1990 said about people getting abortions because of the sex - that is simply heartbreaking and (to me) outrageous and certainly hope it isn't true.

As most of the replies have stated - I guess we will just have to buy neutral colours! Cream, yellow, white, light green, red, black. Ok, maybe I'll leave all that up to her, since I'd probably have it going out looking like a dodgy tomato. :rotfl:

For those that are being quite negative and focusing on the tax issue which I raised, I'd just like to clarify that. The simple point I was making was that if cash had been physically handed overfor the service, I think that would probably soften their stance to tell us the sex if we had said "can't you just show us between it's legs?".

Someone else has made the point that even if we saw, we may be mistaken, which is an excellent point and I concede that - but that's why I said it in the first place.

I'm not a person who takes a selfish view on tax. For example, my tax pays for care for those with mental disabilities, elderly care, mountain rescue, coastguards and suchlike. I will gain no use out of these, but I pay tax so that others can and that's the way it should be.

What I said above was all that I was getting at, it wasn't just a "I pay tax so I want this and I want it now".

If I can return a flame, Jackieglasgow - I find it ironic that you say I sound like a spoiled child, yet you say "There's no need to be any less prepared because you don't know the baby's sex. I'm afraid this is one modern progression I have a huge problem with".

So you are essentially on a crusade against people who do want to know the baby's sex, simply because you don't. This isn't any of your concern, to be quite frank.

And don't use quotation marks when someone hasn't said what was contained within said marks.


To avoid ending on a negative note - another big thanks to you all. We are grateful to you! And you have made us feel a whole lot more comfortable about not knowing in advance

What a lovely post and so refreshing to see that you didn't take the 'bashing' comments to heart.

I'm sure you will both make cracking parents!

Good luck with the pregnancy and birth

Tigsteroonie

After all the anomaly checks had been completed, we were then asked if we wanted to know the sex of our baby.

I couldn't bear the thought that the hospital & consultants would know this "secret" but that we wouldn't!!! So, we explained this and said that we were convinced - as was all the family - that the baby was a girl. The sonographer replied that she hoped we weren't particularly wanting a girl, as he was a boy

money_saving_diva

We didn't find out the sex of our first child. We bought all cream/White newborn clothes. I then continued to buy mainly unisex sleep suits for night time until he was about 9 months because no one sees them. I am so glad I did because we have just had a girl. It has saved us a fortune in sleep suits/vest etc. We are getting to use them all again.

We also painted the nursery uni sex and then we decorated the second bedroom for my son when I was pregnant and the baby is using his nursery and it doesn't matter.

So if you are planning more children I would go cream/White/yellow even if you do find out the sex.

I think it is hard to appriciate how important the scans are when you have a healthy 1st pregnancy. I know I didn't fully appriciate what they might find and how useful they can be until I was told my baby had died at a 13week dating scan. it was a real shock. I had no signs of miscarriage. It was the worst day of my life. I dreaded every scan I had with the next pregnacy. I just wanted to know the baby was alive - nothing else mattered.
So I understand why you posted but don't be suprised if people that have had bad scan experiences are a bit angry.

margaretclare

For heaven's sake! Makes me wonder however countless generations of people have survived without knowing the sex of their baby beforehand, and only found out when the midwife announced 'It's a boy' or 'It's a girl'! What is such a big deal about knowing beforehand? There is no law which states that a baby boy MUST be dressed in blue or a girl in pink. I read some research years ago which said that babies actually like strong primary colours to look at, reds, blues, yellows etc because they can distinguish them easier than the wishy-washy pastel pale blues and pinks. They also like books of wallpaper to look at with strong patterns.

Too many people have the idea that 'it's my right' just because 'I want it'.

shellsuit

margaretclare wrote: »

For heaven's sake! Makes me wonder however countless generations of people have survived without knowing the sex of their baby beforehand, and only found out when the midwife announced 'It's a boy' or 'It's a girl'! What is such a big deal about knowing beforehand? There is no law which states that a baby boy MUST be dressed in blue or a girl in pink. I read some research years ago which said that babies actually like strong primary colours to look at, reds, blues, yellows etc because they can distinguish them easier than the wishy-washy pastel pale blues and pinks. They also like books of wallpaper to look at with strong patterns.

Too many people have the idea that 'it's my right' just because 'I want it'.

Did you not read the whole of the thread before jumping in?

Errata

Too many people have the idea that 'it's my right' just because 'I want it'.

And too many people realise the NHS operates a postcode lottery. What's possible in one district is forbidden in another resulting in parents to be having a 'right' in one district which is taken away from them in another.

janninew

Why can't some folk on here accept that everyone has their own opinion's? I've found some of the comments on here (the ones mainly saying be glad your baby is healthy) to be out of order. I'm sure the OP is very glad that her baby is healthy, I wanted to know the sex of my baby at the 20 week scan, its a personal decision.