Hospital wouldn't reveal sex of baby at 20 week scan

epsilondraconis

For a 21 year old, I thought the OP came across as being rather sensible.

Also I thought the response they gave on the second page of this thread was well thought out and very respectful (considering the replies they received).

Hope everything works out for you both...

nottslass_2

slummymummyof3 wrote: »

Many of you have mentioned a postcode lottery as far as finding out the sex of your baby at the anomally scan - you might find that this is actually not a postcode lottery but in fact to do with the nationalities/cultural beliefs that make up significant proportions of your hospital catchment and as previously mentioned, how some abort girls.

Unless it is medically significant and serves a diagnostic purpose, you have no right to find out the sex of the unborn child (unless you pay privately) There are some conditions that are incompatible with life for a particular sex - then you would obviously have a justified medical reason for the baby to be sexed. It is 'diagnostic' ultrasound!

Unfortunately, some patients are simply unaware of the implications of a scan and just see it as an opportunity to see their baby for the first time or find out the sex.

I find it quite bizarre that as a society, we now expect to know a baby's sex and even its name before it is born - a shame that the element of suprise has gone in many cases!

I think you'll find the above is somewhat of an "urban myth"



Abnormality scans are done at around 20 weeks gestation and I can assure you that no ethical Doctor would ever give consent to a termination at this stage in pregnancy for "social reasons". Only 2% of terminations in the UK are carried out at 20 weeks or more gestation.


To the OP, I chose not to find out my Babies sex and everyone commented on how lovely it was that we were having a surprise ! TBH the excitement of not knowing what "flavor"we were expecting was the only thing that kept me going through the last weeks of pregnancy and those final pushes !!

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maggied_2

FWIW I've had friends who've been refused on those grounds Nottslass - and there are places you can go to have late abortions.

I also know someone whose hospital did not disclose this information as they were actually sued by a couple who were told the wrong sex.

KimYeovil

ricey420 wrote: »

Basically, me and my fiancee are just back from our 20 week scan at the Forth Valley Hospital in Larbert. There were signs everywhere saying "It is hospital policy not to reveal the sex of the baby" at the sonogram. We had politely asked if they could at least show us between the baby's legs and we could decide for ourselves...but they point blank refused to do so.

We are both quite young parents (I'm 21 and she's 22) and we felt that perhaps knowing (even 80% predicting!) the sex of the baby would help us prepare a bit better since we're going to have to endure a steep learning curve as it is.

As Graham Chapman said: "It's a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don't you think?"

What difference is it going to make to your preparations?

patchwork_cat

nottslass wrote: »

I think you'll find the above is somewhat of an "urban myth"



Abnormality scans are done at around 20 weeks gestation and I can assure you that no ethical Doctor would ever give consent to a termination at this stage in pregnancy for "social reasons". Only 2% of terminations in the UK are carried out at 20 weeks or more gestation.


To the OP, I chose not to find out my Babies sex and everyone commented on how lovely it was that we were having a surprise ! TBH the excitement of not knowing what "flavor"we were expecting was the only thing that kept me going through the last weeks of pregnancy and those final pushes !!

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It isn't an urban myth. Who said anything about these being legal terminations. Also although the scan has happened in this country the termination doesn't have to happen here! Your belief is naive.

Indie_Kid

maggied wrote: »

I also know someone whose hospital did not disclose this information as they were actually sued by a couple who were told the wrong sex.

I find it sad that people sue because they were told the wrong sex. Isn't the only way, to look between the legs?

Molly41

I wanted to know the sex of my fourth child. I was secretly hoping for another girl and was told I was having another boy. I drove home to break the news to the dad, who was ill in bed with a tummy bug and in isolation. For all of five minutes I was really upset (hormones) but then suddenly realised I was very lucky because this baby was healthy and my second son had a very serious cardiac condition that was picked up on scan. I had run out of boys names though and told my husband it was up to him to choose. He instantly shouted down our youngest son name and it was perfect for him x

Edited to add that Im pleased i found out because i would have hated to feel a negative reaction when my son was born. As it was i came to terms with things very quickly and bonded instantly with my son as did his dad

Bitsy_Beans

NAR wrote: »

Well I think the OP deserves a lot of praise and not a lot of the brickbats that have been thrown. OK the inclusion of "paying my taxes etc" was perhaps misjudged, but I think it is refreshing that a couple of young parents to be have the foresight to be wanting to prepare early for the birth of their baby - MSE style.

Good luck to you both! :beer:

How does knowing the sex help you prepare? All babies need the same thing, it's only parents who require it colour coded
All parents, regardless of their age prepare early for the birth of their baby, not sure why the OP requires special praise for this?
Sorry I appear to sound snippy, I am really just musing aloud rather than trying to pick a fight

nottslass_2

maggied wrote: »

FWIW I've had friends who've been refused on those grounds Nottslass - and there are places you can go to have late abortions.

I also know someone whose hospital did not disclose this information as they were actually sued by a couple who were told the wrong sex.

There may well indeed be places that will offer illegal abortions (for the right price)to women demanding them because the baby is the wrong sex but I can assure you that there certainly wont be any statistics available to confirm the fact and the NHS would certainly not base its policies on anything that can not be substantiated.

AS for a Hospital getting sued,that's easily remedied by a disclaimer - A quick google doesn't reveal any cases of a Hospital actually ever being sued for such a reason.

The reasons for some NHS hospitals not revealing the sex of the Baby is purely and simply due to the fact that the sole purpose of the scan is to check the babies development and unfortunately the occasion has become a spectator event with several family members coming along to find out the sex and staff have been put under pressure to" keep on looking" whilst the waiting room is filling up and clinics are running late.

nottslass_2

patchwork_cat wrote: »

It isn't an urban myth. Who said anything about these being legal terminations. Also although the scan has happened in this country the termination doesn't have to happen here! Your belief is naive.

I'm not naive enough to think that illegal terminations don't happen.
My job involves the implementation of patient policies and I can assure you that the NHS does not make or base its policies on unsubstantiated rumor about practises that happen illegally or abroard and they certainly wouldn't publish a policy stating "because of the amount of baby girls aborted" when there is no evidence or statistics to back this up.