Divorcee remarrying in Catholic church?

sueeve

Yes Kegg, I got distracted and then put the wrong name. Andrew I agree.

coolcait

zaksmum wrote: »

Actually, coolcait, you may want to llok at gloomendoom's link again. At the bottom of her link is a further link to the Catholic marriage Centre. This has a Q&A section. One of the questions is similar to that of my friend. The man in this case wants to marry his girlfriend but she's divorced though he's never married.

The answer states that as the church would not recognise a divorce, the girlfriend is still married and therefore the man would be entering into an adulterous relationship. This involves deception and is a form of theft, it goes on to say.

It adds that the adulter is a more grievous offender than the thief (!!!)., and that while God will forgive any sin, you must resolve not to do it again.

This means you must cease to live adulterously.

It finishes by exhorting the man to pray for clarity to see this situation as it really is.

THAT'S why I was gobsmacked!!

Hiya zaksmum, and thank you for that explanation . Now I know where you were coming from, and I apologise for misunderstanding you

That said, even in a secular world, a lot of people frown on adultery:

"The husband was a loser who was carrying on with other women behind his new wife's back within weeks of marrying. She divorced him for adultery".

I agree with your view. And, while you/I may disagree with the Christian Churches' definition of 'adulterer', that's the downside of getting married in a Church ceremony - of you are a believer, or if a future partner is a believer.

If neither of you believes in God, then there's no problem with getting a civil divorce and a civil remarriage.

I'm going to put the next bit in bold, because I think it's the single most important piece of advice which has come out of the thread again and again:

Speak to the local Catholic parish priest

It's the best way to start getting feedback on the bride to be's specific situation.

You might also want to have a look at this

http://www.everybodyswelcome.org.uk/docs/NBCW%20Annulment%20Doc.pdf

It's from the website of the Catholic Bishops Conference of England and Wales. That's (with respect to Tony and Betty Dady of The Catholic Marriage Resource Centre) much more the 'official' Catholic church view.

I've only read through the link to page 10, but have found it informative. The big fact - based on what you've told us about the bride to be's worries - is that she wouldn't have to have any contact with her ex.

Yes, it's likely to be fairly long-drawn out; yes, it could be quite embarrassing; and there's no guarantee of a positive outcome.

However, if you don't ask, you definitely won't get.

And (to be completely un-Christian ) wouldn't it put the lying, cheating ex's gas at a peep to be told that marriage to him had been officially 'nulled'?

I hope things work out for the bride to be.

rmiller

True that you can't remarry in the catholic church after a divorce. HOWEVER, i truly think it depends on your priest in this situtaion. Our priest wouldn't let you as he is very traditional, but i have met very modern priests who, in your particular situation may let you get married in the church.

best of luck!

Mrs.spurrier2b

I had the same problem my husband to be was married in a church, i wanted to get married in a church but sadly we can't due to the fact a divorce is not good enough in the eyes of a church and you need an annulment which is a long and lengthy process...

Mankysteve

zaksmum wrote: »

THAT'S why I was gobsmacked!!

Its long since failed to gob-smack me the stuff that happens in religious organisations.

zaksmum

To be honest, if I was the bride to be, I'd tell the church what to do with it's marriage ceremony. I truly could not be a*sed with all that ridiculous carry on.

Newly_retired

A divorcee cannot marry in a Catholic church. End of.
In the C of E and other denominations it depends on the vicar/priest/minister. Discretion is the word.

tiff

Yes they can Newly retired, my brother in law married his wife who was divorced, in the Catholic church. One priest had said no, another priest in a different RC church said yes so it very much depends on the priest.

coolcait

zaksmum wrote: »

To be honest, if I was the bride to be,...

But, you're not the bride to be.

If you feel she's making a mistake - whether that's to do with the man she is marrying, the fact that she's marrying, the way that she wants to get married, or how she wants to live her life - then you can do what any friend in that situation does.

You either tell her what you think - and take the consequences. Or you keep your thoughts to yourself - and take the consequences.

If you are able to respect her choices - even though you disagree with them - then this thread has information which might be helpful to her. It will only help her if you actually share that information with her.

If you disagree with her choices, but don't share those thoughts with her and keep the information from this thread to yourself - how much of a friend would that make you?

Penny_Watcher

Newly_retired wrote: »

A divorcee cannot marry in a Catholic church. End of.

As a member of a congregation at the wedding of a divorcee who remarried in a Catholic Church I beg to disagree. I don't know if she'd done the whole annulment rigmarole (I am a friend of the groom) but I know she'd been married before.