Divorcee remarrying in Catholic church?

Plans_all_plans

Exactly Kegg. I was living with my now husband prior to our marriage and although we attended Mass weekly we did not take Communion as we knew we were living outside the rules of the Church.

You can't pick and choose what parts of a religion you want to accept and if your circumstances mean you can't fully participate in the Faith then that is the way things have to be.

Mankysteve

kegg wrote: »

You cannot pick and choose which bits you want from the church

Most if not all people of religion do.

swiss69

I had been married before in a Catholic church and then divorced. My 2nd wife is Catholic, attended church as do her parents including helping at the church. They wouldnt marry us under any circumstances. (I was glad secretely as that church was horrible)

We were however allowed to marry in a C of E church and did so in a beautiful Tudor church in the middle of the countryside.

Amara

Mankysteve wrote: »

Most if not all people of religion do.

But they shouldn't sulk on Church that because of their choices rules are not bended.

PolishBigSpender

zaksmum wrote: »

No, I don't feel she's mking a mistake. But sadly divorce is a fact of life these days and what is a divorcee supposed to do...spend the rest of her days alone as it seems the Catholic church expects her to?

The view of the church seems to be that any man wanting to be with her must accept that he will be living in sin (which God will not forgive!!) and that the church considers him worse than a theif or a liar.

Why should a Catholic man who falls in love with a divorced girl have to choose between her and his church?

I really am surprised that such outdated attitudes still exist within the church.

That might be because the times are changing, but the commandements are not? The vows are still saying "till death do us part", isn't the divorce brealing of the vows?

I'm not saying that people who get divorced are evil or sinful, but well, there are choices and consequences that you simply have to live with. Noone is forced to belong to the Catholic Church. I can say I see some Protestant churches as surprisingly liberal - but I don't criticize, it's their way of seeing the matters of faith. Ours is different. Why can't you accept it?

A divorced person, by the way, is not thrown out from the church, just can't take certain sacraments, like Communion or Marriage.

zaksmum

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

That might be because the times are changing, but the commandements are not? The vows are still saying "till death do us part", isn't the divorce brealing of the vows?

I'm not saying that people who get divorced are evil or sinful, but well, there are choices and consequences that you simply have to live with. Noone is forced to belong to the Catholic Church. I can say I see some Protestant churches as surprisingly liberal - but I don't criticize, it's their way of seeing the matters of faith. Ours is different. Why can't you accept it?

A divorced person, by the way, is not thrown out from the church, just can't take certain sacraments, like Communion or Marriage.

I'm just so surprised that a young girl who was emotionally destroyed by a cheating husband encounters nothing but condemnation from the church for daring to be divorced from him.

Can this church say it teaches love and tolerance?

I don't think so.

PolishBigSpender

zaksmum wrote: »

I'm just so surprised that a young girl who was emotionally destroyed by a cheating husband encounters nothing but condemnation from the church for daring to be divorced from him.

Can this church say it teaches love and tolerance?

I don't think so.

She can receive help and compassion, but the rules can't be bend for her. That's the risk you take marrying for life.

Love and tolerance doesn't mean allowing every single thing that people want. The Catholic Church has many sins, but I can't see how simple "we don't recognise a divorce" can be one of them.

coolcait

zaksmum wrote: »

I'm just so surprised that a young girl who was emotionally destroyed by a cheating husband encounters nothing but condemnation from the church for daring to be divorced from him.

Can this church say it teaches love and tolerance?

I don't think so.

You've told us that the bride-to-be's not Catholic. But she married in a christian church, taking christian vows, within the christian belief, stating that she bound herself to her husband, in the eyes of God (and man), for better or worse, till death did them part.

What does her own church have to say about divorce and remarriage in the church?

What are her views (not yours) on seeking an annulment?

If she gets her previous marriage annulled - which is a possibility you don't really seem to have taken into account - then she can get married in the Catholic church.

Some people spend more than two years preparing for a completely secular marriage, because that's the right marriage for them. I don't see anything wrong with that approach (as long as they realise that's it's about 'marriage' and not 'the wedding')

So I don't understand why there would be a problem with the timescales of trying to get an annulment (as long as it's about 'marriage' and not 'the wedding').

Wouldn't it be worth the effort of the annulment to know that the previous marriage to the 'cheating husband' who 'destroyed' her had been officially declared 'nullified'?

I'm really not sure where this thread is going. You started off asking if the bride-to-be could be married in the Catholic church. The best answer you can get is 'maybe, but she has to speak to the Catholic church'. Because it depends on the specific details of her own beliefs, her previous husband's beliefs and where the previous marriage took place.

You obviously can't post those specific details on here. Which means that no one on here can give advice about the bride-to-be's specific situation.

Have you told the bride-to-be about the advice you've been given? Advice which could help her decide what she wants to do. Advice which could help her process an annulment, if that's what she wants to go for.

I totally sympathise with the situation of a woman who toook marriage vows before the God she believed in; then found she had been betrayed by the man she thought she would be with for life; but was lucky enough to find the man she really wanted to be with for life; and was prepared to do what was necessary to allow her to take vows for life before the God they both believed in.

In just sorry that she's not here to see the advice that's been given, on a purely practical basis, without any comment on any church's stance.

Could you confirm that you've passed on the advice that's been given?

If you're just here for a debate about religion, marriages etc, then the Arms is really the right forum for that.

Tulip09

I seriously fail to see how a catholic who has been married for 28 years to a non cathilic but with permission to get married in a catholic church, has 2 children, then leaves his wife and is able to get an annulment so he can remarry in a catholic church to a catholic wife second time round. It seems very hit and miss and not consistant at all regardless of what the official rules are. I asked my gran (dads mum) after reading this conversation and she told me that it cost over £1300 to get my dads marriage to my mother annuled and over another £1000 'donation' to marry his new wife

kegg_2

Tulip09 wrote: »

I seriously fail to see how a catholic who has been married for 28 years to a non cathilic but with permission to get married in a catholic church, has 2 children, then leaves his wife and is able to get an annulment so he can remarry in a catholic church to a catholic wife second time round. It seems very hit and miss and not consistant at all regardless of what the official rules are. I asked my gran (dads mum) after reading this conversation and she told me that it cost over £1300 to get my dads marriage to my mother annuled and over another £1000 'donation' to marry his new wife

Why dont you go ask your dad on what grounds his first marriage was annulled. Can i ask if you as a child of that marriage were baptised and bought up as a catholic?