Divorcee remarrying in Catholic church?

Tulip09

I dont speak to my father any more because of his affair and then annulment of his legal marriage and havent done so for many years. His marriage was annuled on the grounds that my mother must have had mental health issues as she was a few months pregnant (with me) when she married my father. I was not brought up as a catholic (my fathers choice) initially but my mother (the non catholic) took me to church weekly as she had agreed to do that when she was given permission to marry a catholic in a catholic church. I was given the choice at 8 years old by mymother and decided to be baptised a catholic(the only thing i knew and sunday school was a great club). 20 years later my father started attending church weekly where he met his now 'wife'.

kegg_2

I can see why you have issues with the church then as he has used cannon law to his own advantage with little regard to how your mother feels about it.
My mother married a man who was of jewish/methodist parents. He was bought up a methodist but agreed to marry in the catholic faith. My parents divorced due to the fact that he had problems remaining faithfull but my mother never tried for an annullment. She later remarried in a registry office to a non religious man but that meant she couldn't ever receive holy communion again.
That didn't stop her attending church or bring myself and my brother up as catholics.
My own husband is a non catholic and although he was willing to convert it was enough for me that he agreed that our children be bought up in my faith. I dont think anyone should convert to please another as it should be a personal choice based on faith and belief.

slopemaster

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Hi Barneysmom, I think it depends on the Vicar within the C of E. If they are High Anglican they are pretty much Catholic in terms of belief so divorce would be a no-no for them.

I'm divorced and the High Church vicar married us OK
But the first marriage was a civil ceremony so maybe didnt count?
I think actually it was more that the vicar was a generous soul and it prob v much depends on individual interpretation

Tulip09

My mother was more of a 'catholic' than he was! But he then used it against her. For me i have adopted the view that my children will choose their own religion if they wanted one. They attended a sheik temple, muslim mosque etc aswell as a few other churchs etc before deciding their own beliefs. All 3 of my children choose to be baptised at (16/ 10/9) into the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - the mormon church) That is not my religion - i no longer have one ( i have my own lol) but they are happy with their choices and i accommodate it. For me the picking and choosing which commandmants were to be obeyed was very hypocrytical.

Mojisola

Tulip09 wrote: »

I dont speak to my father any more because of his affair and then annulment of his legal marriage and havent done so for many years. His marriage was annuled on the grounds that my mother must have had mental health issues as she was a few months pregnant (with me) when she married my father.

This kind of hypocrisy is hardly something Jesus would have accepted! Unless you were the result of a virgin birth, presumably your father had something to do with the pregnancy and yet only the woman involved was in the wrong.

margaretclare

What 'mental health issues'? I don't see this.

Unless it's the kind of thinking that used to condemn young women to a lifetime in a mental hospital for having an illegitimate child? Many were only released when the legislation changed in recent years.

balletshoes

Amara wrote: »

I'm suprised , and it's not nice suprise. Why there are so many nasty comments about Catholics? "hypocrites, they treat you in bad manner" Very often these comments are from people whose don't understand Catholic religion. Process of annulement of the marriage is very complicated and really many details are needed before someone says "my neighbour did this and he just got paper 'it was all invalid' "

I'm not Catholic, but I have 2 close friends who are (well, one still is, the other is lapsed). My friend who is Catholic, and a staunch one, wanted to marry in the Catholic church which she grew up in and attended all through her life. Her intended was divorced years ago, but had been married in the Catholic church and had a child in that first marriage. Because he was divorced, her priest would not/could not help her be married in the church she always dreamed of, and so she had to be married in a registry office. Now I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I really do think its appalling to treat a participative and active member of your church like this.

To the OP, please tell your friends to go see the priest of the church they wish to be married in, the priest will tell them if its possible, and what needs to be done before they can marry.

Plans_all_plans

balletshoes wrote: »

My friend who is Catholic, and a staunch one, wanted to marry in the Catholic church which she grew up in and attended all through her life. Her intended was divorced years ago, but had been married in the Catholic church and had a child in that first marriage. Because he was divorced, her priest would not/could not help her be married in the church she always dreamed of, and so she had to be married in a registry office. Now I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I really do think its appalling to treat a participative and active member of your church like this.QUOTE]

I am not offended, but I would point out to you that the second your friend heard her intended was divorced and had previously been married in a Catholic Church, she would have KNOWN she had no hope of ever marrying him in a Catholic Church.

She could have stopped seeing him before things got serious if she had wanted to get married in the Church. It really is as black or white as that to the Church.

The only person on here whose story really gets to me is that of Tulip09: hearing the reason for her parents annulment I am saddened that it was allowed.

tiff

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

balletshoes wrote: »

.QUOTE]

She could have stopped seeing him before things got serious if she had wanted to get married in the Church. It really is as black or white as that to the Church.

When did it become more important to marry in church than marrying the right person?

Plans_all_plans

My point is that as a person of Faith you would want to be married in the eyes of God. You would find out very early on in a relationship if you would be able to marry in the Church once you found out the circumstances of your beau.

If you decide to carry on a relationship with someone who you know cannot marry in Church then you can't complain when you're not allowed to marry in Church can you?!