Not doing Christmas Presents

BADPENNY_2

I'd give it a day or so and then give your sister a call, it just sounds like crossed wires. If you can't afford to give christmas presents this year then you can't. End of story. I think christmas is way too comercialised now anyway. This year we have agreed in our family to spend £10 per adult as I know my brother and sil are in similar circumstances to us and we are all fine with that. Just enjoy the day, have a nice meal and relax. Its only 1 day after all, gifts are just a small part of it!!!

Daisy4567

scooby088 wrote: »

I have for sometime now not bought presents for extended family and expect none in return. I have had my fill of socks, pants, deodorant, aftershave. The funny jumpers and anything else. And with many things i have been given as presents have found their way to the charity shops in the new y

Lol, I've had several pretty antwacky handbags gone that way too from my mother in law:rotfl:

lilac_lady

Christmas is so commercialised that it's not Christmas any more IMO. Apart from my immediate family I'm cutting out presents as I spend ages wondering what to get people who have all they need and want. I'll donate to charity instead.

shellsuit

Daisy4567 wrote: »

Lol, I've had several pretty antwacky handbags gone that way too from my mother in law:rotfl:

Woo, someone else who says antwacky!



Buddingblonde, don't worry about it, it sounds like it was a genuine mistake on your part.
If your sister wants to get your OH something, let her go out and buy it herself!

I am sick of everyone asking me what everyone else wants for Christmas, this happens every year. Add to that its my day on the 22nd Dec, my OHs on the 23rd, my Mums on the 25th and my daughters on New Years Day, that's a lot of presents that I have to think of for everyone else, when I'd rather just sort my own presents to people out!

This year I've told people we're not buying them for Christmas because we can't afford it, and that we're just gonna stick to buying for bdays in future. That went down like a lead balloon :cool:

margaretclare

lilac_lady wrote: »

Christmas is so commercialised that it's not Christmas any more IMO. Apart from my immediate family I'm cutting out presents as I spend ages wondering what to get people who have all they need and want. I'll donate to charity instead.

I completely agree with this. Except the donating to charity - I already donate on a regular basis to a few charities of my choice.

I detest having it rammed down my throat for weeks on end - not even Remembrance Sunday and already we're getting all the TV ads, buy this, buy that. Before long I won't even be able to watch a bit of TV any more because I'll be so sick of it.

Teenie_D

I have a large family and we do a secret santa at Christamas now (we still buy for MIL and FIL) where we pick name out of a hat and buy for that person only. We have a limit of £30 and it is fab!

We have still been buying for all the nieces but I am telling them that this is the last year we do this, it's too expensive and they already get far too much. I think my sister will be fine with it but MIL might be a wee bit put out, we said to her last year that we weren't going to buy for the eldest niece who is 14 and she said "oh but you usually stop buying at 16" erm who says so?!

I agree with the other posters who say Christmas is about family and spending time with the ones you love, yeah pressies are nice but it's not the be all and end all

galvanizersbaby

Buddingblonde wrote: »

I have just been really upset by my sister and I want to know if I am over reacting.

My contract ends in March and my workplace are facing huge job cuts (so there is almost no chance of me getting a new contract) so I find myself having to budget for the loss of income.

Because of this me and my partner have decided that we arent doing christmas presents this year except for the children in the family (he has a daughter from a previous relationship and 2 nieces). My parents were fine about it although his parents were a bit off about it but I have stuck to my guns so if they dont like it they can lump it. I also said that we would be expecting nothing in return but I know that my mum wont see us without anything (her choice).

Both me and my OH have birthdays in December and the other night my sister asked if I would get something sorted for my OH and she would then just give me the money. My sister is on her own, no children and is on £40,000 per year - she has a very comfortable life. I assumed that she meant birthday and christmas as I said he had seen a few t shirts that he liked and she told me to get them. This evening on the phone I said I would be ordering them at the weekend I would get them wrapped up for OH birthday and christmas. To which she started really nastily laughing and said "so its alright for you not to buy us pressants but you still want them in return". Shocked that she was being like this I apologised and said that I had misunderstood her instructions and that I had not for one minute assumed that she would still be buying for us. I reminded her that the only reason I wasnt buying christmas gifts was because we cannot afford it when we have the MOT and Tax for the car in december and then my step daughters birthday in January before my job ends in March.

I already feel bad enouigh about not being able to afford gifts for my loved ones but certainly didnt think that others were thinking that we were just being tight or selfish about it.

My sister is generousity personified but I never presume that she will spend more as she earns more - I dont know why she has been so nasty today.

Maybe I am just being too touchy but I am sat here in tears feeling like sh * te.

Hi buddingblonde

I can see why your feeling hurt by your sister's remark but to be honest I can see why your sister may have misunderstood as you assumed the shirts would be birthday and christmas pressies (because there was more than one?) and you had already mentioned you wouldn't be buying pressies for the adults this year.

Perhaps your sister assumed the shirts were just for OH's birthday.

Tbh though I think I would be inclined not to order the shirts and just say to your sister that somebody else has got them, not to worry - then if she wants to sort out a birthday gift she can - if she's too busy/can't be bothered then so be it.

Some years I buy my sisters pressies and some years not - we have quite a sporadic time with the adults - but we are all grown-ups - noone is going to have a hissy fit - all of us have children though and we always exchange pressies for them (not necessarily expensive ones)

xbrenx

Teenie_D wrote: »

I have a large family and we do a secret santa at Christamas now (we still buy for MIL and FIL) where we pick name out of a hat and buy for that person only. We have a limit of £30 and it is fab!

We have still been buying for all the nieces but I am telling them that this is the last year we do this, it's too expensive and they already get far too much. I think my sister will be fine with it but MIL might be a wee bit put out, we said to her last year that we weren't going to buy for the eldest niece who is 14 and she said "oh but you usually stop buying at 16" erm who says so?!

I agree with the other posters who say Christmas is about family and spending time with the ones you love, yeah pressies are nice but it's not the be all and end all

This is what we do now too. We have a large family and the youngest niece/nephew is 14 and everyone takes part in the secret santa. It's good fun and I think it takes away a lot of pressure.

Cancelling presents is not the same as cancelling Christmas. Within our immediate family we're doing presents after Christmas this year because of some last minute money problems (£300 car insurance excess to find) but we fully intend to have a fantastic Christmas Day :j

galvanizersbaby

xbrenx wrote: »

This is what we do now too. We have a large family and the youngest niece/nephew is 14 and everyone takes part in the secret santa. It's good fun and I think it takes away a lot of pressure.

Cancelling presents is not the same as cancelling Christmas. Within our immediate family we're doing presents after Christmas this year because of some last minute money problems (£300 car insurance excess to find) but we fully intend to have a fantastic Christmas Day :j

This is definately what I would do if it weren't for the children - let's face it everything is cheaper after christmas in the January sales - makes sense to make any big purchases after christmas

got-it-spend-it

BADPENNY wrote: »

I'd give it a day or so and then give your sister a call, it just sounds like crossed wires. If you can't afford to give christmas presents this year then you can't. End of story. I think christmas is way too comercialised now anyway. This year we have agreed in our family to spend £10 per adult as I know my brother and sil are in similar circumstances to us and we are all fine with that. Just enjoy the day, have a nice meal and relax. Its only 1 day after all, gifts are just a small part of it!!!

I totally agree with this.

For us Christmas is more about the nice meal, a few chocolates, a glass of sherry and spending the day together than it is about presents.

I've suggested to friends that we have a £5 limit this year.

As a bit of an aside, OP, have you looked into 'earning' Amazon vouchers and the like to help with the kiddies presents you are buying? I've been doing Bingoport and Swagbucks for about two months and have earned £40 in vouchers so far, which goes along way towards Christmas presents, and will probably earn another £20 or so before Christmas too.