Not doing Christmas Presents

margaretclare

There must be an awful lotta people in this situation now. In fact, over the past week we have been amazed by the amount of money that has gone up in firework explosions for Bonfire Night - well, this was more like Bonfire Week.

I think the 'expectation' of 'pressies' has just got completely out of control.

I recall a few years ago my daughter announced that Christmas was cancelled. She was on a year's college course with no income, then her husband lost his job following the Twin Towers attack - he was working for a company supplying to the aircraft industry. We all applauded her courage in making that stand.

Buddingblonde

ontheroad wrote: »

I totally understand why you would cut down the pressie-buying for Christmas, I really don't understand though why you're upset with your sister? She could have been being sarcastic on the phone when you were talking to her, not nasty.

She wasnt being sarcastic - she was down right nasty. She is my sister and I certainly know the difference.

I am upset with her because she knows how devastated I am about not having a job and she talks to me like I am trying to con pressies out of her when I am too tight to buy for anyone else. I reminded her why I wasnt doing gifts this year and she went huffy and put the phone down on me.

Desperado99

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Even worse then!

You are accepting Christmas presents from your sister on behalf of your OH whilst stating that you aren't buying.

But surely people give presents for the joy of it, not just to receive something in return.

If she really understood your financial situation, would she really be that bothered about not getting a gift?

Sambucus_Nigra

Bunting wrote: »

But surely people give presents for the joy of it, not just to receive something in return.

If she really understood your financial situation, would she really be that bothered about not getting a gift?

Evidently not.

Otherwise she would have said 'I now you can't afford to buy but i love to give so don't worry about it'....

Buddingblonde

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Even worse then!

You are accepting Christmas presents from your sister on behalf of your OH whilst stating that you aren't buying.

She advised I was to buy both tshirts that OH had seen - we come from a family where 1 item/gift = 1 occassion. It isnt really that huge an assumption. However I did make that assumption based on historical gift giving.

I love how I am the bad guy for being the one that cannot afford to spend on christmas. I am not accepting presents - my sister is asking me to buy OH something as she hasnt the time to get him a gift. If the t shirts are given at his birthday or one each for birthday and christmas the total cash outlay is the same! I am fed up with people trying to treat me like I am trying to somehow trick or con people out of gifts. And not even for me but for my OH who wouldnt give two hoots if he got gifts or not!!!!

Desperado99

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Evidently not.

Otherwise she would have said 'I now you can't afford to buy but i love to give so don't worry about it'....

That is true.

babyboysmommy

You asked people to give their opinion & yet you are shooting down those who are not saying what you want to hear.

Do you want honest answers or not? If you do then you will get some you don't like as clearly you do feel your sister is in the wrong & don't believe you are over reacting which is what you asked people to comment about in your first post. Why ask if you have already decided you are reacting reasonably?

My opinion...sounds like an honest mistake on your part & you have nothing to feel bad about.

Desperado99

Buddingblonde wrote: »

She advised I was to buy both tshirts that OH had seen - we come from a family where 1 item/gift = 1 occassion. It isnt really that huge an assumption. However I did make that assumption based on historical gift giving.

I love how I am the bad guy for being the one that cannot afford to spend on christmas.

Trying to be financially wise is not being the bad guy

Sambucus_Nigra

Buddingblonde wrote: »

She advised I was to buy both tshirts that OH had seen - we come from a family where 1 item/gift = 1 occassion. It isnt really that huge an assumption. However I did make that assumption based on historical gift giving.

I love how I am the bad guy for being the one that cannot afford to spend on christmas. I am not accepting presents - my sister is asking me to buy OH something as she hasnt the time to get him a gift. If the t shirts are given at his birthday or one each for birthday and christmas the total cash outlay is the same! I am fed up with people trying to treat me like I am trying to somehow trick or con people out of gifts. And not even for me but for my OH who wouldnt give two hoots if he got gifts or not!!!!

I couldn't give a monkey's - but don't go on an internet forum asking for opinions and get on your high horse when people agree with your sister.

Perhaps next time, say 'only people that agree with me need respond', then you will get what you really want.

When she advised what you were to buy - you could have said 'it's not for Christmas is it, as we aren't doing presents, remember?'....but you didn't.

We haven't done Christmas presents for anyone but the kids for 3 years now - and yes, I'd be cheesed off if you said one thing but accepted another without fuss. It's cheeky!

Buddingblonde

I am totally in agreement that Christmas is too commercial and that you should never give to receive - It has been horrible to have to turn to loved ones and say that I am unable to treat them the way I would like to.

Re: redundancy - my sister hasnt been the most sympathetic about my job situation - her words were well you will have to find something else then wont you without any acknowledgement of how difficult/stressful this might be. I live in a semi rural area where there is very high unemployment and this is something that she is aware of.