Is this a strange request?

pulliptears

birduk wrote: »

I am the same! I find it very strange sleeping downstairs- just because I think that bedrooms are 'meant' to be upstairs. It is the psychological effect of going upstairs to bed maybe- a different place. It is the same reason I refuse to let my boyfriend eat in bed!

However, he has a flat with a bedroom on the same level as everything else and grew up in a bungalow- he loves it. I find it really hard to sleep in his flat though. Not really any sane reason I suppose, but it is always easier to break into a downstairs bedroom. It is also the same reason I HAVE to have the bedroom door shut- in case I wake up to find someone stood in the doorway. Yup, I know I am bonkers and paranoid!

no your not! I make OH sleep nearest the door so the mad axe murderer gets him first :rotfl:

I drive him mad though, even in the depths of winter the window is wide open. Our bedroom is never warm. I love being in a cold room snuggled in a warm bed.

ema_o

I know where she is coming from - I stayed in a lower floor bedroom in a split level flat, and even though it wasn't on the ground floor it just didn't feel right. I swapped for one of the upstairs rooms as soon as I had the chance - going upstars to bed seems more normal to me...

Do clarify with her about the bathroom - it may not have occured to her and might be that she doesn't realise the room will be smaller once this is added. Maybe she'd be prepared to contribute towards the cost of the bathroom? Maybe she would compromise so you could get the drive done first then move upstairs once you've saved a bit more (if the drive is more urgent).

Wise man not agreeing women are odd (my OH doesn't have the sense!)

fiscalfreckles

I would personally prefer to sleep upstairs, and think that using the upstairs room could give whole house a different feel.

However, the bathroom & stairs issues are practical ones in your circumstances that she may not have considered. It seems a bit insensitive of her to me, but perhaps she just didn't think? I think you need to have a proper chat about why you prefer to sleep where you do, the costs involved in it all & take it from there. Sounds like it will be you funding everything, so she can't really dictate it all too much. Have a proper chat & I hope you can work it out.

Tropez

SugarSpun wrote: »

I hated sleeping downstairs in my old ground floor flat and didn't have a full nights' sleep till I moved out. She might be the same way.

Talk to her about the cost involved, maybe?

I mentioned yesterday it wouldn't be cheap but I suppose I'll have to actually work out roughly how much.

birduk wrote: »

I am the same! I find it very strange sleeping downstairs- just because I think that bedrooms are 'meant' to be upstairs. It is the psychological effect of going upstairs to bed maybe- a different place. It is the same reason I refuse to let my boyfriend eat in bed!

However, he has a flat with a bedroom on the same level as everything else and grew up in a bungalow- he loves it. I find it really hard to sleep in his flat though. Not really any sane reason I suppose, but it is always easier to break into a downstairs bedroom. It is also the same reason I HAVE to have the bedroom door shut- in case I wake up to find someone stood in the doorway. Yup, I know I am bonkers and paranoid!

Hmm, yes, I am getting the feeling you're all terrified of intruders at night.

In my case, it would be much easier to break into the kitchen than any of the downstairs bedrooms but I wouldn't even fancy trying that. I can't say my home is entirely burglar proof but it is very secure.

pulliptears wrote: »

no your not! I make OH sleep nearest the door so the mad axe murderer gets him first :rotfl:

I drive him mad though, even in the depths of winter the window is wide open. Our bedroom is never warm. I love being in a cold room snuggled in a warm bed.

I have to say, if my partner did that, it wouldn't be the axe murderer she'd have to worry about!

squeaky

Tropez wrote: »

The one thing that could be a problem is I have an existing injury which means my movement is somewhat limited when I initially wake up (after exercising it a little it is fine, just clamps up when I've not moved in a while) which means that I would have to have a bathroom installed upstairs if that became the bedroom because trying to tackle stairs first thing could lead to a trip to the A&E

Add a stair lift to the budget?

pulliptears

another thought, could your current room be turned into a nice office or dining room when you move upstairs?

sueeve

We had a loft conversion to a bungalow, and after 4 years of sleeping downstairs it was sheer joy to go up to bed. I think it has a psychological effect of moving up and away from the activity of the day.
If it is the early loo trip which is the problem, perhaps just a small loo and washbasin would be enough upstairs. This would leave you with more space in the bedroom. By the time you have shaved upstairs you would feel more able to manage the stairs.

January20

Tropez wrote: »

I should have clarified; while the upstairs room is big enough for a bedroom, once a bathroom has been added, even trying to keep things very minimal it will still be much smaller than the current main bedroom and unfortunately it is quite narrow.

yeah, but a bedroom is just to sleep in, isn't it? So as long as you can fit a bed that's big enough for the two of you, and a wardrobe... or perhaps it is a cunning plan on her part to have the present downstairs bedroom as a walk-in wardrobe :D

Tropez

ema_o wrote: »

I know where she is coming from - I stayed in a lower floor bedroom in a split level flat, and even though it wasn't on the ground floor it just didn't feel right. I swapped for one of the upstairs rooms as soon as I had the chance - going upstars to bed seems more normal to me...

Do clarify with her about the bathroom - it may not have occured to her and might be that she doesn't realise the room will be smaller once this is added. Maybe she'd be prepared to contribute towards the cost of the bathroom? Maybe she would compromise so you could get the drive done first then move upstairs once you've saved a bit more (if the drive is more urgent).

Wise man not agreeing women are odd (my OH doesn't have the sense!)

The drive isn't really urgent, I'm just tired of looking at it's depressing tarmaced blackness! It probably sounds a bit eccentric but I have spent quite a bit doing up the garden and the house is a lovely deep-red brick construction and with all the trees and hedges in the area (it is a sort of cross between suburban and semi rural area) this big block of blackness outside my front door drives me potty. :rotfl:

I'm not wholly sure whether she even knows how big the upstairs room is at the moment because I don't know whether she has ever even been up there. I know it might sound strange but I've only been up there a few times to dump another box full of stuff.

fiscalfreckles wrote: »

I would personally prefer to sleep upstairs, and think that using the upstairs room could give whole house a different feel.

However, the bathroom & stairs issues are practical ones in your circumstances that she may not have considered. It seems a bit insensitive of her to me, but perhaps she just didn't think? I think you need to have a proper chat about why you prefer to sleep where you do, the costs involved in it all & take it from there. Sounds like it will be you funding everything, so she can't really dictate it all too much. Have a proper chat & I hope you can work it out.

I'm sure she would pay, at least some contribution, to the decorating and maybe any new bedroom furniture but I would imagine the bathroom would be paid for almost entirely by me - but I don't mind so much if she's happy, I just thought it was odd, though now I do see quite a lot of people don't like sleeping on ground floors.

squeaky wrote: »

Add a stair lift to the budget?

Stair case is too narrow, plus, I'm 27, I intend to use my legs as long as they will carry me.

peachyprice

I do think it's a strange request TBH given that you have very valid reasons for not wanting to move up there and her is just because 'it feels wierd' sleeping downstairs.

You say the stair case is narrow, could you actually get a double bed and wardrobes up the staircase?