Is this a strange request?

Newly_retired

You sound a very reasonable and thoughtful bloke but perhaps you two do not know each other as well as you might have thought. I guess this is an idea she has not thought through from your point of view because you haven't really made it obvious about your early morning problems, you have learnt to cope quietly and adapt. I am sure she is equally reasonable and sensitive and when you explain she will see the snags.
She has a property of her own? Could she sell it and you buy something together that suits you both? DH and I did this within a year of our marriage as I felt his house was not mine, however much he told me to treat it as my own.
I think it is a good idea to use the upstairs room in some way and you could consider together a number of possibilities if you decide not to move. Personally for my next house I want just such a place as yours, but with a bathroom on both floors. I want to be able to sleep upstairs for all the reasons others have stated. When that is no longer feasible ( arthritis for both of us) I will accept the need for a downstairs bedroom. I am OK about sleeping downstairs in a friend's bungalow when I go to stay, but I do like the idea of going upstairs to bed.
Do let us know how it works out.

Brighton_belle

I am always changing our rooms round: drives my OH mad . But it is always for a good reason: to maximise efficient use of our small space, as our needs do change over time and to make life as easy as possible with joint problems. However, i have always been like this, even as a child: it becomes an over whelming need and yes, I normally do it when OH is out:rotfl:

I too grew up in a bungalow an always felt uneasy about having an open window at night. I love sleeping upstairs now, but don't associate 'going to bed' with 'going upstairs'. And still don't: we have our sitting room unstairs,as it is the largest room in the house and I love the light we get higher up.

The thing here though OP, is that you have a physical need really to have your bedroom downstairs, so if I were in your partner's postion that would be the priority. Just as I have the 'easiest side of the bed to get out of' with a large bed in a very small room, as I too have some leg issues.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I didn't know why I didn't like my last flat, but eventually I realised when I moved the bed around 90 degrees (fitting a new carpet around it) that I needed to be sleeping North-South. The cat also decided that she wanted to sleep on it from that day on when she had always slept on the floor before. Looking back, the previous arrangement just didn't feel right.

So maybe your OH is subconsciously in the same situation?

Tropez

Newly_retired wrote: »

You sound a very reasonable and thoughtful bloke but perhaps you two do not know each other as well as you might have thought. I guess this is an idea she has not thought through from your point of view because you haven't really made it obvious about your early morning problems, you have learnt to cope quietly and adapt. I am sure she is equally reasonable and sensitive and when you explain she will see the snags.
She has a property of her own? Could she sell it and you buy something together that suits you both? DH and I did this within a year of our marriage as I felt his house was not mine, however much he told me to treat it as my own.
I think it is a good idea to use the upstairs room in some way and you could consider together a number of possibilities if you decide not to move. Personally for my next house I want just such a place as yours, but with a bathroom on both floors. I want to be able to sleep upstairs for all the reasons others have stated. When that is no longer feasible ( arthritis for both of us) I will accept the need for a downstairs bedroom. I am OK about sleeping downstairs in a friend's bungalow when I go to stay, but I do like the idea of going upstairs to bed.
Do let us know how it works out.

She does have a property yes, it is currently being rented out I believe.

Moving could prove very difficult, at least for me. I work from home and need certain facilities in order to do my job which are not available in the vast majority of this city. Similarly, this city was hit very, very hard by the recession, has high unemployment, low average salary and very few industries recruiting. As a result, the housing market has been destroyed with houses on my end of the value-scale often taking months to sell, or not selling at all, unless it is for well below their real value. I'm not of a mind to put money before my partner but I do feel it would be a bad idea for both of us for me to sell my home undervalue, particularly when there's little guarantee I could acquire another home in the same area that meets my needs with regards to my job.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I am always changing our rooms round: drives my OH mad . But it is always for a good reason: to maximise efficient use of our small space, as our needs do change over time and to make life as easy as possible with joint problems. However, i have always been like this, even as a child: it becomes an over whelming need and yes, I normally do it when OH is out:rotfl:

I too grew up in a bungalow an always felt uneasy about having an open window at night. I love sleeping upstairs now, but don't associate 'going to bed' with 'going upstairs'. And still don't: we have our sitting room unstairs,as it is the largest room in the house and I love the light we get higher up.

The thing here though OP, is that you have a physical need really to have your bedroom downstairs, so if I were in your partner's postion that would be the priority. Just as I have the 'easiest side of the bed to get out of' with a large bed in a very small room, as I too have some leg issues.

I've never felt that uneasy about having the window open but once again that's because I know that the home couldn't be any more secure than it is now.

I don't mind her changing rooms around if it keeps her happy of course and I think with a bathroom upstairs I could manage with my problem, though I may just have to brace my leg up permanently to be safe.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I didn't know why I didn't like my last flat, but eventually I realised when I moved the bed around 90 degrees (fitting a new carpet around it) that I needed to be sleeping North-South. The cat also decided that she wanted to sleep on it from that day on when she had always slept on the floor before. Looking back, the previous arrangement just didn't feel right.

So maybe your OH is subconsciously in the same situation?

I suppose that is a possibility; certainly something I would have never considered. I have no idea which way my bed faces.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Tropez wrote: »

I suppose that is a possibility; certainly something I would have never considered. I have no idea which way my bed faces.

If the sunrise is in your bedroom window, the window faces east. If it's the sunset, it's west. If it's usually flooded with light all day, it's southfacing, generally ok but nothing of note, north.

As the points run clockwise North-East-South-West, it's fairly easy to work out from there and might be worth working it out for her old place as well.

This is saying it is the cause, but it might be worth checking, as she might be able to pinpoint or eliminate this as the cause, saving you a lot of hassle!

Tropez

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

If the sunrise is in your bedroom window, the window faces east. If it's the sunset, it's west. If it's usually flooded with light all day, it's southfacing, generally ok but nothing of note, north.

As the points run clockwise North-East-South-West, it's fairly easy to work out from there and might be worth working it out for her old place as well.

This is saying it is the cause, but it might be worth checking, as she might be able to pinpoint or eliminate this as the cause, saving you a lot of hassle!

I should probably have known that.

Well, anyway, I've just received a text from her and she has actually explained what the problem is... and it's a little hmm, yeah...

clairec79

Are you up often when she's in bed? If so it may be that she can hear you watching TV/pottering around and thinks if she's on a different floor it'll be less disturbing

Tropez

clairec79 wrote: »

Are you up often when she's in bed? If so it may be that she can hear you watching TV/pottering around and thinks if she's on a different floor it'll be less disturbing

No, we tend to go to bed at the same time, I just tend to get up a little later because I'm lazy.

She has now explained the problem to me and I can actually see where she is coming from. In fact, now she's put the idea in my head, it bothers me as well although I'm not convinced it warrants the expense of relocating our bedroom, just a different way of thinking.

jackieglasgow

There is believed to be a link between humans having upstairs sleeping quarters and our ancestors living in trees, as it kept them safe from predators. I am not joking, I remember an anthropology class about it!

Tropez

jackieglasgow wrote: »

There is believed to be a link between humans having upstairs sleeping quarters and our ancestors living in trees, as it kept them safe from predators. I am not joking, I remember an anthropology class about it!

I've actually heard something similar.

I also remember hearing that the falling sensation some people experience when they're nodding off to sleep is related to the living in trees thing, as is the realistic falling sensation we occasionally experience in dreams.