my gf is totally unrealistic! what do i do?

leanneq

I think you know what to do! She is taking the p out of you! I wish my house cost me £130 a month like she pays! It's harsh her saying that you have no ambition..what ambition does she have to help achieve this goal of living in the nicer area?!
I'm female but there is no way i would treat a man this way. We are in a different era to our parents, my dad paid the bills too but i have still gone on to do well in my career, earning a very good salary.
Sounds like she wants to be a housewife, if thats what you want your future wife to be then thats fine, stick with it.

fimonkey

PasturesNew wrote: »

Ditch her, give me a shout.

MSE dating! Get in there Pastures! .. ha ha we prob know more about each other from this site than we do our own family!

Bonny1

Hi there,

has hbklea made any decisions yet? I'm curious honey... where are you ?

Bonny

Yorkie1

The OP came on here with a dilemma, he's received a lot of advice on this thread in a very short time, and probably now needs space to assimilate where he is, what he wants and to make a decision in his own way, without being under any pressure to satisfy other posters' curiosity.

paddedjohn

You sound like you know what youve gotta do, but youre scared to do it. Buy the house yourself and if she wants to come along fair enough, if she doesnt then youll be well shot cos she sounds like shes holding you back. Plenty of women out there!

favorita

I would wait until next year to buy a house, the housing market is drifting downwards. You have everything to gain by waiting, maybe the sort of house your girlfriend wants will come into your price range. Just look at whats happening in Ireland property is down nearly 40 percent and still falling ditto America. Be very cautious, you could lose your 20 grande deposit if you jump in too soon.

doire_2

hbklea wrote: »

i've been with my gf for 5 years, we are currently renting a 1 bed flat in a nice area for 450pm, however its really old fashioned, ie carpets, kitchen, bathroom etc. i own a flat (which we cant live in as she has a dog) so i have been it out renting out illegally (in the lease u cant sub let), but i've got a buyer so i'm selling it at a 5k loss. we've seen a house which we loved yest, she was all excited, ready to offer the asking price! however then she went to her mum and dads, came back and said she doesn't want it and wants to carry on renting until we find a property within 4 roads of where we are now, which is just so unrealistic as houses sell for around 180k. we'll never be able to afford it, this house we like is a 3 bed, new kichen, carpets etc, and only 110k. however she says even though its only a 7 minute walk to where we are now, she doesn't like the area saying its on an estate, which its not. its a cul de sac, parking is a communal car park. and its a nice area, my friend has lived in the nxt rd for 4 years.
what do i do? she's happy renting? i pay the full rent and buy all the food, so she only pays 200pm compared to my 650, and i dont earn 3x what she does, i just dont have a loan at 30% interest, an expensive phone and gym contract, and dont waste my money. plus she's in her overdraft by 700 but i refuse to bail her out as i basically gave her a car at 25% of its value. she wont learn anything if i keep bailing her out do. its my 20k deposit which i'll be putting down, i just dont know what to do?
she wants what she cant afford? i'd love a house where we are now, but we could never afford it.
i dont want to be paying dead money for the nxt 5,7,10 yrs whatever. she even wants me to update the kitchen in our rented flat? i told her she must be joking!
need some advice? what do i do? :(:(:(:(:(:( at least its fri lol:j

Grow a pair, man up and get rid of her. Seems she expects you to pay for everything and jump when she tells you to.

As you say its 20k that YOU saved! Why waste it on someone like her

hbklea

Bonny1 wrote: »

Hi there,

has hbklea made any decisions yet? I'm curious honey... where are you ?

Bonny

hi bonny, i'm still around, just had a really busy wkend and wk so far. the sale of my flat is currently under going problems, as in my old sol never got the original lease hold of my specific falt, and apparently i'm really unlucky that the land registry haven't got one either. so my sale is hit and miss and mo. need to get this sorted out first. once my sale goes through then, well hopefully, then it gives me the dilemma of what to do nxt.
taken everyones advice, sat down with my gf, worked out mine and her out goings, she doesn't seem to see anything unfair about it. she simply says her total out goings are nearly what mine are. which is true but 200 of that is on a loan, gym and phone contract. her arguement is i have a motorbike, i had an op as well, not like her one i may add , i had laser eye surgery, which is now paid for and was on 0% interest. she argues she's on a poor wage but all that happens is i end up paying more and more towards the flat, and its got a bit too much now.
the arguement over the house is that it doesn't have a driveway, no garage for my bike, i'm willing to sell it though, or even extend the rear garden store which it has. and the area, nothing i can do bout that, but its quiet and i would quite happily live there.
selling the flat is defo the right thing, lease is 99 years, service charges are 75pm which will never go down, no pets or children allowed, no garden, and no extra rooms.
i can borrow 85k, so plus my 20k dep i could afford the house by myself. as long as they'd accept 105k but its up for 109. i've got alot of things still to think about, but main thing is to make sure my flat sale goes through first.
thanks for all the advice and replies everyone, much appreciated :T

marcowil

hbklea, you have had the talk and sat down and worked out your finances with your gf but it still seems like she does not see a problem with you paying to keep her in the manner she likes!

It really sounds to me like you know you have to move ahead on your own and let your gf go back to her folks.

If you were to buy the house together you would be storing up heaps of trouble for the future

BitterAndTwisted

I'm getting quite annoyed with your girlfriend's attitude and I don't even know her, so goodness knows how you must be feeling. As if her irresponsible spending habits meant that she didn't have to make a fair contribution to your living costs. She's barking!