my gf is totally unrealistic! what do i do?

Person_one

You know, if a couple where one partner is in debt sit down together and decide that the best thing for their future is to work together to get rid of the debt asap, that's great. Your girlfriend has decided unilaterally that its your responsibility to pay off her debts!

Did she have these debts before you met or has she run them up in the 5 years you've been together?

I still think your main problem is that this has gone on so long, you can't change people, or your relationships with them, overnight.

greenval

hbk
You know the answer to this deep down. Buy on your own , I'm not saying finish your relationship but it will be interesting to see if she sticks around when she is no longer being subsidised/kept.
Once you have realised the problem and talked it through and it's clear that she isn't prepared to change then if you CHOOSE to continue as things are then you are ENABLING her behaviour. Is that what you want?

When_is_the_reset?

But is she hot?

Makes a world of difference.

Mister_aaa

Buy the house, send her to her parents, and tell her that when she has saved up the difference, you can both move to the 180k house

:cool:

You are being taken for a ride, and not a good one.

BitterAndTwisted

When_is_the_reset? wrote: »

But is she hot?

Makes a world of difference.

Well, she has had some "work" done so she's probably a bit hotter now than she was five years ago.;)

Engeroosi

lets see a picturre!!! What Work was done?

quantic

Did you pay for said "work"

Bonny1

hbklea wrote: »

hi bonny, i'm still around, just had a really busy wkend and wk so far.

i had an op as well, not like her one i may add , i had laser eye surgery,

thanks for all the advice and replies everyone, much appreciated :T

Hi there, that's good, at least your talking honestly with each other...

I had laser surgery, best thing I ever did... :T

best wishes and good luck
Bonny

getmore4less

Got in late to this one still catching up but had to say

Many post say get a joint acount DO NOT DO THIS.

(edit: good I see this has been noted allready RAS)

Sever all financial links as soon as possible.

Start the chats and if she does not change her tune its move on time.

right lest see what else was said.

getmore4less

hbklea wrote: »

again thanks for the advice, the talk ended up in an arguement, like it normally does. apparently me wanting to settle for a house in that area shows her that i have no ambition and goals. no, i said it was a 5 year plan? pay off some money instead of renting, hopefully make a bit of a profit when we come to sell the house. then maybe gete somewhere bigger in the area she wants. money has always been an issue in our relationship, she comes from a family where her dad in the bread winner and pays everythin, while her mums wages are her own. however his job is a very well paid one. but her mum and dad do tend to side with me, well thats after they hear my side of the story. they understandably believetheir daughter when she gives her side of the story first. i would love a house where we live now, but its simple, we cant afford it. the flat i own is 4 wks away from completion so i just need to decide what to do nxt. friends and family say buy the house i want by myself, and let my gf move back with her parents. which i dont think is a bad idea. eps if we do by the house together it'll be my deposit, and all the costs etc will be down to me.

A few more posts to go

I think this is your best option, get the place if you like it and send her home

Still have her round for the sex but no dogs.
If you go out she pays 1/2 or you go with someone else

Before long her dad will bail her out so you will have back and then you can start from scratch as long as she stumps up the relevent dosh to make the ownership 50:50 so a deposit(bank of mum and dad) and 50% of all the bills.


:Djust joking don't let her back untill she has proven she can be financialy sensible for at least 12 month.