Nightmare 15 yr old daughter

rchddap1

I don't know anything about these trust funds, but if I am correct you have a voucher that you use to open the savings / trust fund account. What happens when the child turns 18? Do the bank send the child a letter telling them about the money? Or do they send them a cheque etc...? If not surely you could simply not tell the child about it, but once they are 'responsible' tell them that £x is there for them to use towards a deposit on a house, a car, University / other study etc...

rushnowt

rchddap1 wrote:

About the car. Have you thought about putting some numbers in front of her? Finding out how much a loan will cost, add on the car tax, fuel, repairs, insurance etc.... Costs for a brand spanking new A* car (something nice and expensive of course). Then put the cost of a 'heap / banger' next to it and see what happens.

If she wants to go on hols then its up to her to save it. If she can't save the money she'll soon realise what she's doing to herself if she can't go, due to lack of cash.

At the end of the day you can only do so much. You can take the horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

Hi rchddap1,

She has this idea in her mind that she's gonna have a sporty little number LOL, didnt we all, but when ya consider she's only earning £50 a week on a training course the odds are stacked against her slightly, she works mon-thurs at the mo but the idea of doing something on a saturday to make some extra cash is alien to her, I know even a having a "banger" she'd struggle but my idea was that if i put the offer to her it might make her see a bit of sense and start saving a bit, instead of throwing all her money away on cigs and beer.

If thats not gonna work tho, i cant see anything that will, she'll only do it when she's ready

rushnowt

Hi Spendless,

I dont really have much idea about these as my kids dont qualify, is there anywhere for you to make enquires from the dept who issues them ?

It would be a shame if the money was just issued to the kids once they had reached 18 tho, i know the majority of them would probably spend it wisely however there are still the few that would blow it. I think your right to find out what control you may or may not have over it, and hopefully you can then ensure it goes towards something really worthwhile.

p.s my daughter will borrow money from whomever will lend it to her, she has no quarms about that

Spendless

rchddap1 wrote:

I don't know anything about these trust funds, but if I am correct you have a voucher that you use to open the savings / trust fund account. What happens when the child turns 18? Do the bank send the child a letter telling them about the money? Or do they send them a cheque etc...? If not surely you could simply not tell the child about it, but once they are 'responsible' tell them that £x is there for them to use towards a deposit on a house, a car, University / other study etc...

I don't know if the child gets sent a letter at 18 telling them about it- so far we haven't decided where to put it. It's a question i'll fetch up when i open the account.

As for not telling daughter about it. That is a suggestion that hubby and MIl came up with- but it is for kids born from 1st Sep 2002 onwards. So my daughters school year is the first to get it and all children from that date.

So, perhaps it's being a bit too hopeful that none of her peers will ever tell her about the cash! Yes, i would say the money is for the things you have mentioned - but i can not force it. It isn't my money,it's daughters to do with as she wishes. Hence my reluctance to put any or much more to it, or am i being a bit hard wondering if my toddler is going to turn into a tennage tear-away?

rushnowt

LOL. Spendless is it any wonder ya have concerns about yours becoming a teenage tearaway reading this thread

Seriously tho, I think that most kids no matter how wild theyve been seem to have their heads screwed on ok by 18 so I wouldnt concern yourself with that idea un-necessarily.

As for the savings, like i say i dont really know anything about it, do you have to add to it, or can you save extra in a seperate account ? at least that way if you felt that they wernt able to use the money wisely at 18 you could hold the extra back until you felt they could

Spendless

I don't have to add to the CTF at all. I have to open one with the cheque i've received (or the government will do it for me)-the money (no details on it yet) she gets at 7 will also have to go in there.

I can leave it at that or i can add upto £1200 a year into it of our money. It is locked away- we can't get it out and neither can daughter. It is hers to spend as she likes when she's 18.

I just don't like the idea of taking the chance that it wouldn't be spent 'wisely'. There is nothing i can do about the money she has already got and the money she will acquire at 7 also. So i'm tempted to just let this be 'blow it on anything'money. And have a seperate saving account that i have more control over also. Maybe she'll be very sensible and put all money together for college etc, but if she doesn't, at least it won't be all gone in one go!

Savvy_Sue

I think Martin's advice - but it could have been someone else's - is to keep the money the govt gives entirely separate from anything you and others are able to give, because you CAN tie up 'your' money and set limits on how it is spent, but as you are all realising, however much is in the 'government initiated' account goes to the child at 18, no strings, no control, no nothing!

And let's face it, what's £1200 going to be worth when the first batch reach 18 anyway?

But I'm talking from a position of ignorance here, mine are all too old for this so I've not been taking a lot of notice.

If the govt. gives a bonus if you do put in more, and you can afford to do so, then you might want to, but apart from that I'd put as little as possible into such an account.

Two other reasons for putting as little as possible into the govt. account: once it's in, am I right in thinking it stays in until child reaches 18? So if that's the case, and you're paying in £100 / month into your little darling's account (I wish!), what happens to the money if - truly awful thought - the child dies? Do you get any of it back or does it all go to the govt?

Less appalling thought: suppose after 10 years of you paying in £100 / month your situation changes, and not only can you no longer afford to pay this in but you really desperately need some of that money. You can't touch it!

No, grab as much of the govt's money as you can legitimately get your hands on, but don't let them have any more of it than you have to!

And rushnowt, I think you're a saint for saying you WOULD put her uniform in the drier. How about next time offering to set her an alarm so she can get up early enough to get it dry before work?

And never mind cost of buying a car, just get a quote for a 17 year old learner driver in ANY car! Makes very little difference whether the car is new or old: the insurance is to cover the damage they do to other people's property, not just their own!

crana999

as an 18 year old myself... I would say keep anything you want to save for her separately if you can. You can see what kind of person she turns out to be and how mature she is by that age. I know I wouldn't blow it had it been mine (I read this site. I'm hardly a hip and happening 18 year old am i) but an awful lot of people I know would have done.

Spendless

Thanks for your answers.

Sue -
It is £1200 a year every year that can be added to the CTF. Not that we would be able to afford that much (LOL). We also have an older child that doesn't qualify, that we have a savings account for.

I hadn't thought about what if we hit on hard times and for some reason needed to get the money. Good point. I hope it never hapens but of course i don't know that.

In the tragic event of a childs death the money goes to their parents. I also think i read the money can be taken out if chikld is diagnosed terminally ill.

Crana99- Thank you for giving me an 18 year olds point of view.

What we will do is either contribute nothing or very little to the CTF and open a seperate savings for her like son has, so we have control over how it is spent.


Just as an aside - and without turning this into a political rant. I can understand Gordan Brown (sort of) as he only has a baby himself thinking it's a good idea for money for 18 year olds without any parental control over it, but Tony Blair has teenagers himself. Do you think his are all good? (lol)

toadhall

just found this thread. I have 3 daughters 5,7 and 9 and after reading all your posts I think I'm going to sell them them and get a puppy!

the 9 year old is already showing hormone signs and i'm not ready for this yet!:(