Does anyone else find it hard to make friends?

Littlemadam83

Youdontseeme wrote: »

I feel like I bore people too, down to a lack of funds I never get to go anywhere and all I have to talk about is work (big yawn!)

God, I even bore myself!

I am sure you have loads of interesting stuff to talk about, you just haven't found the people with the same interests as you xxx

toontron

I have found this thread interesting to read, and I think it is sad that so many people are lonely. I am almost ashamed to admit that I have no problem making friends, maybe I have got used to making friends as I have moved house a fair bit since leaving home. Also, I have children and I think that helps. Saying that, I do have many many friends, but I probably have just as many enemies. My Mum always told me that If you go to a party stand up straight and smile, and head for the noisiest group, if you don't think you have anything to say, nobody else will either. Please don't imagine fir a minute that I am preaching, or suggesting this as a solution for anybody, just mentioned it as it worked for me.

top_drawer_2

hey,

I have a similar problem compounded with the "type" of people I tend to encourage which ends in me being treated badly. I have tried the meetup site but found that the saying is very true that a group of lonely people are just as lonely in a room together as alone. At the moment there are no groups in my area anyhow.

I am hoping to join a spanish language class at the college soon as its something I've fancied doing in the past. Hopefully, it will help to bring me closer to a goal I have of teaching abroad (cuba or mexico I hope) and meeting new people. When I was at uni I found that the majority of the groups were aimed at drinking themselves silly which is something I just dont do, making it quite uncomfortable for me. Plus an amazing number of people were sooo immature in what they consider a night out! I am also hoping to check out a salsa night which is being held at my gym soon, apparently salsa is a social thing (I really hope so and that I can meet some nice likeminded people).

Keep us updated on how you do ...

pebbles88

hello,

god when i saw this thread i thought i had wrote it!

my DH has been my closest friend for forever, I have 2 very close friends, and my sister and i are close. but thats it. that has always been enough for me. obv had work colleagues etc.

but over the last few yrs, i have managed to isolate myself so much i dont even recognise myself. Nethir does my DH, as he left me last week. which has caused me to have a good hard look at myself.

i spent today with a woman i met through work. and i really enjoyed it. we are very similar and interested in same things.

there has been various things that led to me changing, betrayal, loss of loved ones, illness. but all i acheived by pushing everyone away was the one thing i feared....aloneness.

i am trying really hard at the moment to make myself be more sociable. but it is hard to open up.

perhaps this thread will help lots of us. xx

DatabaseError

well...I decided to be pro-active.
Yesterday I joined a dating website (fishy one), today i've exchanged over 200 text messages with someone, and a couple of phone calls, and we're out for dinner tomorrow. Not saying ~I'm fixed, but 1 less stranger, maybe 1 more friend?
...and she knows i'm nervous as hell...it does show..she thinks it's sweet

pebbles - I'm here because I'm no expert, but I'm experiencing 'interesting times' right now, I figured rather than just being a geeky retreat, the internet could help, so I've shared my troubles with a handful of people i have vague internet relationships with, but don't know in real life. I think it helps to talk, and many of us feel insecure, that if we open up we give others ammunition on us. But speaking to almost strangers gives the opportunity to open up, you can be totally honest as you really have nothing to lose, they don't know who you really are..where you live etc.... I've had nothing but sympathy and good advice from the ones I've opened up to...which then gave me the confidence to seize the moment and join the dating site, as I have everything to gain, and nothing to lose.

Good luck xD

Littlemadam83

Pebbles - thanks for posting on here, I feel very much like you and am scared I am pushing those close to me away too.

DataBaseError - OMG - congratulations on a new friend!!! Please please dont rush into anything but you are so right, that person is one less stranger.

Let us know how you get on xxx

Littlemadam83

I've just been thinking (SHOCK HORROR) and maybe we should have this thread for all of us that are seeking to find friends who understand us and we can understand.

Be a mini support group for when the loneliness is hard and help everyone forward. We are all good people deep down and and just need to get out there!

Good luck peeps xxx

nicter

Good luck database. I met my partner of 4 years on there. It does work !:)

verysillyguy06

It is very hard. My oh is my very best friend and I feel lucky but all my others are on here......


Feeling lonely at times is normal and having a little chat on here for support and ideas is a great thought

pebbles88

DatabaseError wrote: »

pebbles - I'm here because I'm no expert, but I'm experiencing 'interesting times' right now, I figured rather than just being a geeky retreat, the internet could help, so I've shared my troubles with a handful of people i have vague internet relationships with, but don't know in real life. I think it helps to talk, and many of us feel insecure, that if we open up we give others ammunition on us. But speaking to almost strangers gives the opportunity to open up, you can be totally honest as you really have nothing to lose, they don't know who you really are..where you live etc.... I've had nothing but sympathy and good advice from the ones I've opened up to...which then gave me the confidence to seize the moment and join the dating site, as I have everything to gain, and nothing to lose.

Good luck xD

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Pebbles - thanks for posting on here, I feel very much like you and am scared I am pushing those close to me away too.

thank you both.

i am also looking into volunteering for the brownies etc. i loved the time i spent with my little nieces/nephews so think this will be a good to help further as well.

its been a horrific 30 months for me. I NEED to improve so many areas of my life. so one step at a time. we will all get there! :T

i now realise i wanted everything from my DH, friendship, being a husband, etc. i now realise that although some people are perfectly fine with that, it didnt work for us. it was too much for him (not just that, other things going on as well). we are now both having counselling to help support us. so i am hoping to feel more happy in myself soon, and not expect to get everything in one place so to speak. I so much enjoyed my day out today with a friend. and i really cant remember the last time i did it!

so of the people i am/was friends with , think its ok to belittle me as i cant keep up with them in many areas of life following an illness last year. apparently im a boring tea o holic as i had 4 cups of tea in one day!!! it takes me 2 cups to function on a morning. and as i did not want to spend every minute of oour holiday break with a lager/wine in my hand i was ruining the holiday... it really hurt me that they treated me like that. i couldnt help getting ill. like i cant help being quite weak/ill now. but they just attacked me verbally/emotionally all week.