Does anyone else find it hard to make friends?

Toomuchdebt

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

LOL, and I feel like I bore people, so maybe dont PM me. :D:D:D

I feel like this a lot

Toomuchdebt

izzybusy23 wrote: »

I live in Gloucestershire if anybody else does too!

I am in Cheltenham!

Littlemadam83

Hermia wrote: »

That is interesting. I would love to know whether other foreigners who have moved to the UK have experienced the same thing. I would love to know what it is about our character/society that creates this. Fascinating.



We should set up a friendship agency! I love:

The arts
Crafts (there are a lot of craft groups in my area, but the women are usually a lot older than me and are either not looking for friends or don't have much in common with me.)
Science/skepticism/humanism
Films (arty/Bollywood/Asian horror)
Travel
I am a former sociology/psychology student so also interested in this sort of stuff

None of these interests would be seen as anything out of the ordinary in a city, but where I live there is no one who is interested. Or if there is they are hiding!

Hermia, I am sure there are many people in your area with the same interests! We just have to weed them out! Are there any kind of things/groups you can join that are similar to your likes. EG I used to do hospital radio and there were "technical" people there. I know that isnt the same thing, but there must be a niche thing that the same traits as you may congregate to. xxxx

Frogletina

Well, just to update you. The Wi group was tonight, not last night - my mistake. But I think my going there was meant to happen

We had a talk by a woman of 73, who said her life didn't really start until 12 years ago, she has now taken a degree, written a book and described events in her life in tapestry. She has a picture of herself, when she was 11, on the wall in her living room and she says she has done all this for her. The girl that was led to believe all her life she would never amount to anything.

I was never the popular one at school or work and it does take me a while to make friends (I guess I'm quirky) But I can't be the only one!

DatabaseError

Frogletina wrote: »

I was never the popular one at school or work and it does take me a while to make friends (I guess I'm quirky) But I can't be the only one!

just back from the pub (my sister took me) and i had a great time, chatted to a few people, drank about enough, not so much that i'm not using spellcheck, but enough that i need it

i get the impression that a lot of people are like me...like us....getting over that initial hurdle is the first step,. meeting someone new, accepting that they may or may not like you..it doesn't matter because the world is full of strangers, you only need a few of them to become your friends to make it all worthwhile, and i guess until that initial "hello" they'll remain strangers.

so far tonight, my friends list is +0, but my strangers list is -7 or 8, the first baby step has been made..now to continue this without becoming the sad guy propping the bar

nomuny

i am also a quiet person who finds it hard to make friends and keep them. not having much money limits what i can do and i find people don't bother with you after a while. people i thought were friends have let me down on a regular basis and i find that just makes me feel unimportant to them so i stop bothering and they don't then seem to bother with me.( which just re inforces what i was thinking anyway).maybe i'm a bit too sensitive as well cos i find friends i think are ok and then they do things that i wouldn't do in their position ie: talking about their £100 pound shoes when they know i have no money.
all i want is someone to spend time with, talking, sharing good times and bad who i feel actually cares enough to know when i need a friend not someone who never rings or txts and leaves the keeping in contact to me as if they aren't bothered either way if i am their friend or not .:(

morocha

Hi, i am Argentinian, i already wrote i find hard to make friends here !... Let's put it on this way.... in my country , when someone moves over there from a completely different and far away country, we try to introduce them to our lifestyle, have barbecues with us, going to the park, watch football.. we love people's company.

since i moved here, maybe something to do with living in the country side maybe not... people my age, i am only 26, 21 when i came, is never wanting to do anything!... ring up want to get together tomorrow? tomorrow ? err no, it is like too much to have a last minute plan for people who maybe are married and have no children!... last minute thing is a big no no.
now i have a 3 yo BUT still i like going out and stuff... but i find all the women here my age, prefer the weekends in with their hubby/boyfriend or do the same thing over and over... not open to new friendships... like a girl i met from London, we got on quite well and when she asked her SIl about me , she said that i was new here, FGS i lived here 5 years! she laughed, cos she is colombian and she told me she understand about people here.
i do hate a lot that to have people over o visit someone i need to make an appointment. i am not going to the docs i am just going to see someone that i like and want to share some time with!
we are more relax.... we just go and visit people, if we missed them, not a big deal, leave a note... i loved these lovely surprises, my family or friends coming over without me expecting them...

Don't get me wrong, my oh is english i love a lot of things about here and people... but the socializing gets me down.

Kt8

when im married and older i will always have my good circle of friends and i dont intend to let being married or having kids if i do have them stop this or have it as an excuse not to have friends.
its really important couples have their own mates and own time to do stuff in my opinion. i couldnt imagine not having any other friends apart from my partner/hubby!?
i always think its sad when girlfriends once they get in a long term rship or get married stop going out and thus lose their friends and isolate themselves. as if/when things go wrong in the rship they then have no friends or anyone to turn to other than family

Youdontseeme

I feel like I bore people too, down to a lack of funds I never get to go anywhere and all I have to talk about is work (big yawn!)

God, I even bore myself!

DatabaseError

Kt8 wrote: »

when im married and older i will always have my good circle of friends and i dont intend to let being married or having kids if i do have them stop this or have it as an excuse not to have friends....

I don't think any of us here thought differently, we all expected that when we got married most things would carry on as normal...but they often don't.
If I could do it again, I guess I'd make a point of going out at least once a week, maybe 1 week a night out together as a couple (movie, meal etc..), and the following week with friends.