Does anyone else find it hard to make friends?

LittleBoots

fab_n_funky_mum wrote: »

I'm in Glasgow too!! :j :beer: :j I've not read through the whole thread, but I agree that it gets harder to meet new, interesting people as your life gets busier and busier. I also think it gets more difficult as you get older, a lot ofthe school gate mums are working / studying etc. I used to be rushing away with the best of them, but now I work from home....I need to unchain myself from the washing etc etc and have some fun! School hours only, of course.
So, anyone like to really go mad and get bodypainted? Or even just come for a cup of tea then??
Linda x

Bodypainted? Haha! Spray tan maybe...

nomuny

As the title suggests was supposed to be going for a night out with a friend ( not the one who seems to no longer wish to include me on nights out ) in an effort to get a social life going and hopefully to extend my circle of friend as indicated in my " getting a social life " thread, and she now says she can't afford to go. I find this hard to understand as there is much more money going into her home than mine and she and her hubby are always going out. She insists we will go at some point but feel as if I'm being put off. Beginning to think there's something wrong with me and I'm destined to b e a lonely person for the rest of my life.:(

podperson

Aww, nomuny that sounds very annoying but try not to take it personally - lots of people are struggling with money at the moment (she might seem like she has plenty of money coming in but you don't know what her outgoings are and what debts she might have). Maybe say to her that you understand but you were looking forward to seeing her so would she like to have a cheap night in instead? Get a dvd, bottle of wine or something - might not be as good as going out but you are seeing someone and doing something. There is nothing wrong with you, things sometimes just take time x

nomuny

Thanx podperson I know I shouldn't take it personally but my friend spends lots of money on things that i'd term as luxuries ie: having her hair and nails done - things I always do at home and The night had been arranged for a while, if it had been me I would have forgone something to be able to afford night out so as not to let someone down. This is what upsets me no-one seems to think even though they know I'm often down about being stuck in house. Anyhow on the bright side I saw a friend of a friend earlier and was surprised she remembered me and we got talking and she asked if I fancied going to local pub next Sat so all being well I'm off out. Cheered me up no end as I was feeling v. down this morning as not only am I not having much luck on the friend issue my relationships been unhappy for a long time - which is probably why I'm so unhappy about havin no social life. thanx for reading.

Moogle

Hi Everyone,
I feel so much better after reading this thread, it has opened my eyes more than any of the 'self-help' confidence books I have been trying to read.
I too find it hard to fit in with the people I see everyday at work, and the few friends I do have I don't see much, and tend to find fault with (though obviously not to their face!). I have recently been feeling bitter about not having many friends but realise from this thread that I have not been making much of an effort, and it is up to me! so I have made a pact with myself to try not to feel negatively to others, especially those who actually want to be my friend, and to make it part of my life to keep in touch with them and suggest activities to do instead of relying on being invited (as it doesnt work, I have tried it for too long!). I think I often feel like 'why would they want to hear from me?, I'm too boring' this is stupid but I do feel that insecure sometimes!

BTW I am a married 31 year old working mum with a 2year old daughter and am expecting a new baby on 2 sep 11 - I live in Edinburgh so another one from Scotland! (although am from England)

nomuny

Hi moogle and indeed anyone looking at this thread, perhaps if we try and support one another we can make the changes needed to help us feel better about ourselves and to look forward to a better social life and friendships. I feel exactly the same - why would anyone want to spend time with me, I never do anything to talk about, I often feel invisible as people I know often don't seem to notice I'm there maybe cos I'm not very loud!, but I've resolved to try harder. All this isn't helped though by the fact my partner often makes me feel I'm boring etc but thats another issue.:( x

podperson

Nomuny - that's great, hope your night out goes ok maybe doing more things for yourself will make you feel a bit more confident and help your relationship as well? I know my partner has been saying he can tell I'm in a better mood the last few weeks cause I've been getting out more and not just been sat in the house feeling fed up (though he was also joking he's hardly seen me!)
Moogle - I feel just the same, I've realised that I have to make more of an effort - for example, I'll say hi to people I've not seen for a while online and we would always say, oh we must meet and have a catch up sometime, but never actually did anything - when this happened last week I forced myself to say, well what about coffee on Sat. I am finding it a bit scary to put myself out there but hopefully it will pay off in the long run. Oh and I'm another one from England but living in Edinburgh

heretolearn_2

I think a lot of us have the same problems. I've never made friends easily and I'm realising, reading this, that I've been throwing away some friends and opportunities and not always been a good friend myself to other people.
So...
I'm going to get back in touch with a couple who were very good friends until I moved a few years ago and contact has dropped off to nothing - and it's my fault. I've been busy and time just flew without my realising how long it was...See if they can forgive me and pick things up again.
Call my 'best friend' , again since I moved we don't see each other much, only couple of times a year, but I could call her more often.
Email the lady I met through a course last year, we share an interest and did go out for an afternoon in November, I had to cancel our next meet up, so I should be the one to get back in touch and rearrange something else.
Finally go to the bookclub I found on MeetUp a year ago, joined but never went, they have regular girls film nights as well, so I'm missing the chance to make some local friends.

Inspiring thread...