Does anyone else find it hard to make friends?

nickih28

I also have trouble making friends, i was with my partner for 19 years and thought he was my best friend, turned out he prefered someone else !! so now i feel really lonely and being quite shy i have trouble making new friends, i have two teenagers who have there own thing to do, and doing stuff with mum is not cool, (unless its shopping for clothes!!)

i am considering starting a night class and have joined the gym but people just have their ear phones in and dont even look at you in there !!

kitekat

What about if each person on this thread pmd others and kept in touch and if living close by could meet up, otherwise it just seems a waste of a lot of people looking for friendship and nothing coming out of the thread.Anyone interested in receiving a pm to start with could say so and where they live and take it from there.I dont mind being pmd and i live in Stirlingshire Scotland.

scooterpig

This is so true, I could have written so much of this thread.

I've never had loads of friends, but have had long-time friends. However, six months ago I had to move from Scotland to the USA. The move has been very difficult and I have made only one friend out here. It's not helped by the fact I'm not allowed to work and don't really have the confidence to volunteer. I don't have kids so can't meet anyone that way either.

I had hoped to keep better contact with my old friends but they seem to have drifted away very quickly. I emailed them several times when I first moved over but didn't get much back. I did see them when I went back to the UK a couple of months ago, but have had no contact since. That's partly my fault as things have been very stressful here and I've not really had time to email, but equally they haven't contacted me.

I think the lack of friends over here is really hindering things for me. I can get really down about things, and am finding it very difficult to settle. But it's so overwhelming trying to meet people, sort out the endless bureaucracy relating to our move, and make a new life. Time will tell whether it's going to work out or not. I don't think my OH quite gets it, as he sees his workmates (whom he knew well before moving here) every day, but my confidence has really taken a dive.

Hoopylass

purplerose wrote: »

I'm another one who struggles to make friends, for years I had 2 best friends and I was happy with that as I'm not good with big groups. However, one friend moved to the other side of the country about 2 years ago and now has a baby so I only see her every 3-6 months for a catch up but we don't actually do anything together any more. My other friend, we were friends for about 12 years and he just sorta dropped me out of the blue in April there, one day we were out a nice walk together and after that I've never heard from him again, no idea why.
I've got my boyfriend and my parents/brother and I have made 1 friend recently and we meet up every month or so which is nice but I'd like some closer friendships and those are hard to find. I think my problem is not having lots of cash to go anywhere where I'll meet anyone as well as not having kids; most women I meet in their late 20's are starting their families and I'm really not interested in baby talk at the moment. I also find, I'm not shy in general but I can clam up in large groups of people whereas I'm fine with just 1 or 2 people. I'm also one of these people where I find that people just don't seem to want to include me. For example, I could be sat with a table of people from my old uni class and always seem to be the one stuck on the end with the person next to me turned to face everyone else so that their back is in my face. So that's why I don't like group situations and situations where you're meeting people in smaller groups seem to be hard to come by. It's hard, I'm hoping once I find a job I'll either meet more people at work or be able to fund some new hobbies or something.

Im in glasgow, late 20's and no kids
Id love to meet up!

LameWolf

kitekat wrote: »

What about if each person on this thread pmd others and kept in touch and if living close by could meet up, otherwise it just seems a waste of a lot of people looking for friendship and nothing coming out of the thread.Anyone interested in receiving a pm to start with could say so and where they live and take it from there.I dont mind being pmd and i live in Stirlingshire Scotland.

Excellent thought.

I did actually get a very nice pm today, which I've replied to.

I can't do meet-ups (mobility issue, as well as crippling shyness) but I'm up for exchanging emails/pms.:o

dogcat_2

I would love to meet up with a few people on here...I don't have many friends...the ones I do have I speak to on the phone...but rarely see...as they live no-where near me...and they have their own lives..(known them for ages). I did try to arrange a 'meet up on the comps' board quite a while ago...thought I'd sorted it quite well....and no one turned up. Made me feel awful.:o

If anyone wants to pm me or arrange a meet I'd be interested. I'm in Exeter...(but I don't drive)...:cool:

ziggles50

Hermia wrote: »

That is interesting. I would love to know whether other foreigners who have moved to the UK have experienced the same thing. I would love to know what it is about our character/society that creates this. Fascinating.

Hi

i'm jumping in from page 2...so probably raelly off topic.
I'm 'foreign' and live in a small town oop north- i find that it's a small community. It is very difficult to break in. People in smaller commuities can be very insular and exclusive especially when it's in the sticks where they've lived since birth and left and came back again 'because it's better up here' or they never left for ay period of time at all. But if you have an insider to introduce you- you're in. It sucks starting afresh in a strange place.
it makes it worse if you work somewhere small where they are not very sociable- so it's home work, home work- pub- sit with o/h and speak to no-one, home again. I have had the joy of plenty of jobs, tried a few different things, young, college locally so have a fair few good acquaintances but again- few very good friends- ok 3!:cool:

P.s. i'm gonna be cheeky after reading the last page and say I'm in the highlands...pm me too!:D

scooterpig

red_devil wrote: »

its much easier to make friends as an expat in another country.

People are glad of friends.

Sadly that's not been my experience so far. I thought it would be, especially as where we currently live is a rental for people who're moving in from a different place. I thought that since everyone was new to the area they'd be interested in making friends. What I've found though is that the people with kids seem to chat. If you've no kids, like us, they don't want to know.

We've been here six months, and in that time a far number of people have moved in and out. Our next door neighbours have been here longer than us, yet we don't even know their names.

kacie

Thought I would post to ask how everyone is doing, with making friends. I've made some friends through the job I currently have but the jobs ends at the end of next month, and I'm not sure if the friendships will continue as I don't talk to any but one person outside of work.

pebbles88

Hi Kacie,

well i am no further forward than last time i posted in respect of friends. had done really well, and sort of forced myself to start being more sociable - but just got huge reality check couple of weekends ago, off someone who i thought was a 'friend' but i had kept at arms length (well tbh i do with most people) but in the spirit of making more friends tried to open up a bit only for her to betray me, a long story which i don't want to go into detail with.

but with me, i think i am so wary, and don't open up very much because I always seem to get hurt, i wear my heart on my sleeve, always have, always will, i just try and treat others like i woul dwant to be treated, but i always get hurt or let down.

i have gotten closer to a friend at work, we are very similar, she is older than me, but we just click tbh, and can natter away for hours!

so i'm starting to think that for me, having lots of friends isn't important, i would rather have just a small handful who i trust. i just feel more settled that way.

oh heck - reading that back i sound a right plonker! oh well....:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: