Does anyone else find it hard to make friends?

Littlemadam83

Hi guys,

I am really struggling at the moment. Things with my shiny new husband have not been going great still, and although I have been on and off looking for years I cannot make any true friends!

I had one hobby that was great, I had loads of "mates" and all was well for a few years. Then it all went horribly wrong and me and hubby gave up the past time (we didnt fall out with anyone, just 11 of us suffered a terrible trauma, that made us all closer for a while, but giving up the hobby because of this meant we drifted apart).

There aren't really any groups I can join in my area. I have started GeoCaching, hoping to find friends from that as it is something I really enjoy, so will keep plugging on with that.

I just feel really alone and dont know what to do. I seem to repel people and I dont know, I am just missing true friends in my life that I can be a good friend to and have good times with.

I am babbling, I guess I just need help of some sort!!!

Am I alone in feeling like this which in turn will make me feel even more alone and isolated :rotfl:

Hope someone can offer advice and understanding xxx

hot.chick

Have recommended this before - I haven't used it but think it's a great idea!!

http://www.meetup.com/

I hope you find some groups in your area, even if it's a going to the cinema group, it would be good to do someting regularly.

I know I ave made most of myfriends through the various jobs I have had, even met my hubby through work, and since using FB am back in touch with a few friends from school and am making a few close friendships this way.

Good luck, hope this helps give you some ideas at least

Tish_P

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.

I'm surprised that there are no groups at all nearby - do you live somewhere really rural? There's always the internet, which will have communities you can join whatever your interests are (reading, writing, running, lacemaking, dressing stuffed animals in sportswear) and will have occasional real-life meetups. Even a tiny village will probably have a choir and a conservation volunteer group - is there anything like that? Doing something, anything, will make you feel better straight away as otherwise it's a vicious circle of feeling alone and anxious.

Are you still having trouble dealing with whatever traumatic event put you off your previous hobby? Maybe that is making you nervous about creating a social life again and you need to talk through those emotions.

Hope it all works out for you.

Moomum

I'll be your friend :-) Im the same here, moved south of the river and finding it hard to make friends. Have made a few mummy friends but they all seem to have their own cliques.
x

newcook

the best thing I ever did was join a social club - the beer is cheap and there is often something going on such as a band or a disco.
most saturday afternoons I am down there with with my fella - the girls sit yapping over wine and the blokes moan about the footie and the kids all play together! annual subs are usually about £15

I also know I can go there on my own and there will always be someone I know to talk to

Alizarin

I understand OP, as I'm the same. I have one friend who I met at primary school and many acquaintances who are OH's friends and I'll happily hang out with them, but I can't really say they are my friends - e.g I'd never go out with them without OH, and I'd never share my thoughts / feelings with them. My excuse is that I've always had low confidence and low self-esteem

I've recently moved to a new town and I know I should try some clubs and activities and see if I can meet some nice people here, but it's hard when you're so convinced that no one will want to be your friend.

I'll keep following this thread as I could do with ideas and help too!

PerfectPeaches

Your not the only one who feels like that Littlemadam83. I've moved to rural Lincolnshire from Warwickshire where I grew up so all my family and friends are there! Doesn't help that my OH is from Newcastle and all of his family and friends are there, fortunately been able to make friends with his friends down here (he has been here longer) but it is a struggle but I've started to make genuine friends at work.

I go on maternity leave end of this month so hoping to make some mummy friends!

Peaches x

thecruncher

Used correctly Twitter can be good for finding new friends. Help people out, be interested in what their doing. Soon you'll get follow backs and you can start to build some virtual friendships which may lead on to something more. Also you easily interesting people in your area by doing a location search. I follow a few people that live locally that i've never met but have a good relationship on Twitter. Also people run social twitter events - meetups which lets see your follows in real life and in a safe environment

VK-2008

have you though about going to the local gym
its hard when there is not mch activites in your area. just remember whn you see someone smile and say hi, friendships start when you least expect them! best wishes
in the meantime be friends here.
xxxx

jcr16

i'm the same. but tbh it doesn't really bother me. my best friend is my hubby. i have alot of mums through school i chat to,maybe have a cuppa with. but none who'd say are true friend. i got stung recently by thinking someone was a friend, but it turned out she really isn't, i stupidly thought she was genuine. i also have alot of family friends, who say they think alot of me ( most are older in there 50 /60 ies ) and i get on very well with them.

i am a very happy easy going person. always smiling , my world is my hubby and children. i have hobbies. and i am very socialable. random people like to talk to me tho, in town or if i go to shops etc and i will randomly talk to people,lol. i have a cousin who i'm close to and an old school friend, but they both live about 300 miles away.

it is hard making friends, even more so i think when your older. i am hoping tho when we move house, to a completly new area. i might meet some new friends. but if i don't i'm not worried.

red_devil

sometimes the question is not how to make friends but how to make friends that are reliable and really want friends.

Alot of people dont put the effort in and friendships fizzle out.