Does anyone else find it hard to make friends?

DatabaseError

wow - glad i chose now to look at this side of the board - i normally stay over at the techie end (which is why i have no friends)

my marriage has just failed (i moved out yesterday), i have no intention of attempting reconciliation as my wife has crossed a line. After over 15 years together our circle of friends reduced until it was just 2, now we have split and it's 1.

as little madam said earlier in this thread
"that is a truly great idea. I am rubbish at situations like that, I cant be all girly and talk. I am so jealous of people like that though, and that is why you have friends and I dont ha ha. Things like that terrify me, as I think I will be boring, although I have got a lot better.

..... I am so the same as you with the confidence level and thinking people wont want to befriend me."

now, I can't be all girly...anatomy prevents that, but the rest is true of me, lack of self confidence, the feeling that I'm gonna make a fool of myself when i speak etc..

I suppose I'm going to have to look at joining clubs in the area, the meetup website has nothing within 20 miles (i do drive but that's possibly too far to go to meet strangers)
Going out tonight with my little sister, hopefully she'll introduce some people and i can make a start on a new life

Littlemadam83

Hi Hermia,

I agree, it does seem to be a trend with alot of people over here. My husband is just as guilty though so it is not just us women!

What are your non mainstream things, and you never know your new best friend might just be reading!

xxx

Toomuchdebt

database-Sorry to hear your marriage failed {{{hugs}}}

Littlemadam83

DatabaseError that is so sad. You sound like you are strong though and dealing as best as you can. Maybe you and I should both have a pact and that is to get out there and just throw caution to the wind.

If you ever want to chat because you are finding the whole new social world trying feel free to drop me a PM, as it is so hard for us low self esteem peeps xxx

DatabaseError

cheers, toomuchdebt

..hugs are what i need right now, well, hugs and a job....and some company

i was going to to start a self-indulgent 'woe is me' thread, then i saw this one and felt empathy

edit
@littlemadam, i might take you up on that, it will possibly be helpful being able to vent at a stranger, no chance of ruining what few relationships i have that way
then again, i'm here because i struggle with relationships..why would you want to talk to me :P (joke)

Littlemadam83

LOL, and I feel like I bore people, so maybe dont PM me. :D:D:D

Hermia

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Hi Hermia,

I agree, it does seem to be a trend with alot of people over here. My husband is just as guilty though so it is not just us women!

That is interesting. I would love to know whether other foreigners who have moved to the UK have experienced the same thing. I would love to know what it is about our character/society that creates this. Fascinating.

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

What are your non mainstream things, and you never know your new best friend might just be reading!

We should set up a friendship agency! I love:

The arts
Crafts (there are a lot of craft groups in my area, but the women are usually a lot older than me and are either not looking for friends or don't have much in common with me.)
Science/skepticism/humanism
Films (arty/Bollywood/Asian horror)
Travel
I am a former sociology/psychology student so also interested in this sort of stuff

None of these interests would be seen as anything out of the ordinary in a city, but where I live there is no one who is interested. Or if there is they are hiding!

izzybusy23

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Hi guys,

I am really struggling at the moment. Things with my shiny new husband have not been going great still, and although I have been on and off looking for years I cannot make any true friends!

I had one hobby that was great, I had loads of "mates" and all was well for a few years. Then it all went horribly wrong and me and hubby gave up the past time (we didnt fall out with anyone, just 11 of us suffered a terrible trauma, that made us all closer for a while, but giving up the hobby because of this meant we drifted apart).

There aren't really any groups I can join in my area. I have started GeoCaching, hoping to find friends from that as it is something I really enjoy, so will keep plugging on with that.

I just feel really alone and dont know what to do. I seem to repel people and I dont know, I am just missing true friends in my life that I can be a good friend to and have good times with.

I am babbling, I guess I just need help of some sort!!!

Am I alone in feeling like this which in turn will make me feel even more alone and isolated :rotfl:

Hope someone can offer advice and understanding xxx

Me! Find it hard to make friends now I am older, its even more apparent since splitting up with my husband that I am a bit short on the friends front; relied too much on him for companionship.

I live in Gloucestershire if anybody else does too!

DatabaseError

izzybusy23 wrote: »

I live in Gloucestershire if anybody else does too!

Bit too far away from me...up in (rarely) sunny west Yorkshire

I have friends (well...workmate/friends who see each other while working away) in cirencester + letchlade/fairford - beautiful part of the country

terryw

newcook wrote: »

the best thing I ever did was join a social club - the beer is cheap and there is often something going on such as a band or a disco.
most saturday afternoons I am down there with with my fella - the girls sit yapping over wine and the blokes moan about the footie and the kids all play together! annual subs are usually about £15

I also know I can go there on my own and there will always be someone I know to talk to

I endorse newcook's opinion! I am a great social club fan - Guinness at £2.25 a pint is only one of the reasons! My club's annual charge is only £4 but there is a 20 minute meeting twice a year where all attenders receive 20 free beer tokens. So it is not just useful for meeting people but it must be the best MSE tip ever - 20 pints of beer a year for £4 annual fee.