Does anyone else find it hard to make friends?

Littlemadam83

Thanks Peaches, that is really sweet of you. Good luck with the little one! I am sure you will find a good few friends to help you with your time where you are and when you do eventually move, when you need to get away from hubby and little one you can go back down and have a girly weekend without them!

xxxx

pukkamum - that is exactly what I would like, I cant deal with large groups, but someone I can chat to go out for nice drinks and stuff, and just no pressure to be in each others faces. Where as some people need that.

xxx

Lirin

PM'd you my MSN details

minerva_windsong

I hear you on this, I've been rubbish at making friends since I was about 16 after a so-called friend and I had a massive argument about something that was silly at the time but was actually the catalyst for a lot of other stuff to come out, and as she was the 'queen bee' our other friends mostly sided with her. I also had a lot of anxiety issues as a teenager which made me think that no one wanted to be my friend for reasons other than pity or because they wanted something from me. Normally it doesn't bother me as I have enough close friends (if family and OH count), but I am worrying about when I move to London to be with OH as a lot of our mutual friends are people that my OH knew before I did, and I sort of feel like I want my own friends - don't get me wrong, the friends I've made through him are lovely, but they're not 'my' friends, if that makes sense in a really childish way.

I agree with the suggestion to go to everything you're invited to and to perhaps try Twitter or meetup. Or alternatively, maybe put a poster on the wall at work to see if anyone wants to go out? Sounds a bit cheesy maybe but you never know...

Littlemadam83

Hi Minerva,

Thanks for your post! I have a brother who I do deem to be my best friend, he is the most amazing brother in the world. He's just alot younger and don't want to keep him from what he should be doing at his age, he's soon to be 21.

I do think that everyone needs their own set of friends, away from their partners, and I dont think its childish at all, I mean when you need to moan about him, you cant do it to your mutual friends!

If you get really desperate when you move to London I am not far at all

xxx

LJM

oh dear i feel for you i too spend most of my time with my partner and my girls i have 2 very close friends but with work and families we dont see each other often. i tend to mainly speak to people in the playground but dont class those as friends apart from one and i also have 2 friends along my road who i speak 2 and luckily 2 lovely neighbours. but that is the extent for me its not that i dont try to make friends i have but they eventually drift away. it is hard if you dont feel you have common interests i dont go out drinking or dancing like i used too before kids and im a sahm so it is difficult but i do have great support from my family and 2 me that is the most important. i think mse meet ups sound great im on the isle of wight so a way out from a lot of peeps

**confuzzled**

OP where abouts are you?? Maybe you could arrange your own MSE meet????:)

Tbh I'm the same as you...no good at making friends, fear of rejection:o I have a best mate that I've had since childhood but we live 100 miles away from one another so is difficult to catch up so other than her and my DH and his family I have no-one where I live:o My family all live closer to my best mate...own fault for moving I suppose:p:D
Oh and making friends in work is a HUGE no-no for me! 1st job down here all older ladies who were lovely but was like gossiping with my mum and current job....I work with 3 blokey blokes! *sigh*

Good luck on your friends quest:D I'm hoping to meet some mummy friends once I've had my baby

Isklar

Subscribed to the thread.
Sorry I have nothing constructive to contribute but this is an ongoing problem for me. I live in a rural area, hate driving in the dark, and hardly know anyone locally. Got divorced 4 years ago and am very isolated - I don't have children and have no close family.
I'm in my late 40's and it does seem to get much harder to make new friends as you get older (certainly has been for me).

Februarycat

I'm in the same situation since my divorce as my social life was with my ex. There is nothing much going on where I live, I dont drive which makes it difficult, also have no close family except my teenage son but he is busy with his own hobbies and 6th form. Have 2 people nearby who I would say are friends but they are busy at weekends with their families.

Bangerchick

newcook wrote: »

the best thing I ever did was join a social club - the beer is cheap and there is often something going on such as a band or a disco.
most saturday afternoons I am down there with with my fella - the girls sit yapping over wine and the blokes moan about the footie and the kids all play together! annual subs are usually about £15

I also know I can go there on my own and there will always be someone I know to talk to

Hubs, I and the kids keep meaning to join our local club for this reason.(we both moved down to kent from up north 6 years ago) They have loads on for the kids and we can have adult conversations with other people for a change.

morocha

i find it difficult to make friends too... i am quite shy until i get to know the person better and can act like myself and feel secure... itried to be friends with a girl but sometimes i feel i am her friend when she wants too, as she keeps her distance, maybe something to do with getting divorce i dont know ! sometimes i get fed up with people.. it is seems like i always making the effort and they dont care! ie... if i dont text, they wont text me, if i dont go to see them ( tho i dont drive and they do and live in rural area) they wont come to my house... it is like they keep what they call friendships, but are not really, people they know from 10 years ago and i didnt exist in their lives yet.