Think he was just a wee bit 2 honest. ( long, sorry)

LilacPixie

Blushred - look at it this was you have lost around 12 stone of crap already. You will meet someone and then wonder why the hell you wasted 6 months on THAT.

Look after yourself

Loopy_Girl

I have read most of this thread and something struck me...

Lets just say the OP was a smoker and her GP had said it was really affecting her health and she needed to stop now

Boyf phones, bit lagered, and tells her that he hates the smell of smoke and thinks she would be so much better without the fags and that it's obvs much better for her health. Kinda hints that since she started 'playing around' with stopping in May he would have thought she would have done much better and that it's a bit disappointing for him.

Is it not just the same thing? It's a serious health issue and needs to be addressed

Would she still be getting the same responses that he's a cad etc etc

As I say...just curious

InaPickle

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I have read most of this thread and something struck me...

Lets just say the OP was a smoker and her GP had said it was really affecting her health and she needed to stop now

Boyf phones, bit lagered, and tells her that he hates the smell of smoke and thinks she would be so much better without the fags and that it's obvs much better for her health. Kinda hints that since she started 'playing around' with stopping in May he would have thought she would have done much better and that it's a bit disappointing for him.

Is it not just the same thing? It's a serious health issue and needs to be addressed

Would she still be getting the same responses that he's a cad etc etc

As I say...just curious

Fair enough...to a point...but even if the analogy held, would you consider it acceptable for the now ex to then tell the smoker to 'go hang herself'? Equally, she was a smoker when they met: it isn't as though they were both non-smokers, then she started, he objected, tried to get her to stop and then left her - he knew what he was getting into at the beginning.

I'm sorry you are miserably about this blushred, but I can't help but think that things would have just got worse and worse and made you feel worse about yourself. It sounds as though life has been tough for you for while between looking after people who needed it and this, so take some time out for YOURSELF, figure out what you want to do and then do it, and be beholden to nobody. Work on your life and self-esteem first, and worry about the rest later. *Imitates Geordie accent* Because you're worth it! x

Loopy_Girl

Ah let me make it clear the 'go hang yourself' comment was unacceptable...that was nothing to do with my musings

booter

OP - have faith. My sis (morbidly obese since the age of 16 and still so at 42) had a steady string of losers who all had a similar attitude to your ex. At 35 she met and subsequently married a fantastic guy, who has never pressured her or even mentioned the need to lose weight, but has supported her through all 3 pregnancies (and associated weight gain/loss), weightwatchers, slimming world etc etc, and is now supporting her after she had a gastric band. I keep reminding her of how lucky she is - she has 3 beautiful children and a great husband. I have a fantastic niece and two gorgeous nephews, and I'm so glad he came into her life. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to point this posting out to her, cause sometimes she takes him for granted.

As far as it being your last chance to have kids, nonsense. OK, the clock's ticking as per usual, but you don't know what's round the corner. I know someone who had their first child at 45, and someone else who had their 3rd and 4th children at 54 and 55 (with a little help). (Maybe a bit controversial!) If all else fails, get a puppy - no-one can phone social services if you go to the pub, and a puppy won't blame you for all the faults in its life when it's 16!

SingleSue

My now ex husband moaned at me about my weight, told me I was unsexy etc and as I too had become a peed off about my size, I went to Weightwatchers.

Fast forward to goal weight and what he had said would be his perfect woman and he was constantly moaning about the loss of my pinchable bottom, my comfy boobs and he hated my new found self confidence! (Oh and the attention from other men, although I never responded - I am a one man woman)

The upshot of it was he went off with my plus size friend with comfortable boobs, a pinchable bottom and no confidence.

Bitsy_Beans

I am sorry to read this blushred - all I can say is thankfully you appear to have had a lucky escape.

I think what makes me cross is that he feels he's entitled to say how he feels and yet you're not allowed to feel hurt (whether intended or not) in response to something that he said. Whether you should have been upset is not the point - he seemed so dismissive of your right to an opinion on what he said IYSWIM.

Anyway please don't let this change your goal to lose weight. It is important and we've all been saying you should be doing this for YOU and no one else.

Spendless

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I have read most of this thread and something struck me...

Lets just say the OP was a smoker and her GP had said it was really affecting her health and she needed to stop now

Boyf phones, bit lagered, and tells her that he hates the smell of smoke and thinks she would be so much better without the fags and that it's obvs much better for her health. Kinda hints that since she started 'playing around' with stopping in May he would have thought she would have done much better and that it's a bit disappointing for him.

Is it not just the same thing? It's a serious health issue and needs to be addressed

Would she still be getting the same responses that he's a cad etc etc

As I say...just curious

I'd have still given the same response I have, since it was the way in which it was said to the OP. I'm a life-long non-smoker so it's not as if I'd be influenced by my own habits.

Mrs_Boo_Boo

Oh well done you.
Diets do not work, if they did everyone would follow them and lose weight.
Have a look at the Beyond Chocolate book.Its all about the psychological effects of food and eating and makes alot of sense. Ther is also a supportive forum but you do have to subscribe. There are bits on You Tube.
Usually the food is not the main issue. Did he not realise that by doing you down would increase your weight due to you feeling bad about yourself and comfort eating.
I couldn't give a toss if any of my friends are overweight it's whats inside that counts.
You go girl

pukkamum

Do you moan about your weight to him?
I only ask because i was overweight for a long time, DH would always say it didn't matter to him he still loved me etc, however, this did me no no favours it made me feel it was okay to be 6 stone overweight.

After a particularly bad day when i was moaning about my weight DH turned round and said look you know you are fat i know you are fat, i still love you but only you can change it, either do something about it or stop moaning.

It was the wake up call i needed i joined weight watchers that week and went on to lose 6 stone which i have kept off for the last four years!!!!!

Sometimes tough love is what you need!!!!