Think he was just a wee bit 2 honest. ( long, sorry)

Pixiechic

Hernce the comparison from poster about alcohol, drugs and fags. Same thing, an addiction caused by difficult pasts. These battles can be won though and in my opinion encouraged.

The OP is obviously not happy about her weight and has other weight related health problems. Her now ex was encouraging her to lose some as is her doctor. He was right to try, given the other circumstance of her being 43 with high blood pressure and wanting a baby.

I just don't understand the support from other overweight people. I suppose it is like drug addicts and alcoholics who support each other too.

The OP is dangerously overweight and no matter how nice some posts sound. The kindest thing in the long run is to try and get the OP to seek help to lose some weight. The OP may not like it because it might be too 'true' but that is the kindest.

The help is there if you want to lose weight, if you need a dietitian, therapy, groups and clubs, its all there. Its just whether or not you want to help yourself.

Magpye

Food is not an addiction. If you give up food, you DIE. Eating is NORMAL, what is not normal or desirable is giving people a one-size-fits-all prescription of fat=unhealthy. Unless you are a very special snowflake indeed, you don't have the right or the capacity to try to judge someone's health simply because of how they look, fat or not. There are numerous medical studies which do not support the widely touted party line of fat=unhealthy=sickness-and-early death. And there are plenty of people in this country who see it as their god-given right to heckle someone who is fat under the guise of 'concern for their health'. I see plenty of advertisements for weight loss systems and tv programmes like 'Biggest Loser' and precious few supporting people's rights to live as they want - fat, skinny, whatever.

It's not easy being demonised as a symbol of everything wrong in the world today just because of the way your body stores energy. In fact, I guarantee that I eat less and better food, and exercise more than many slim people - but I don't see you chasing them down demanding that they stop eating chocolate and cake 'for their health'. Perhaps because they meet the societal ideal for beauty and damn their health issues - at least they're not fat!

Snuggles

Pixiechic wrote: »

Hernce the comparison from poster about alcohol, drugs and fags. Same thing, an addiction caused by difficult pasts.

I don't think smoking generally has anything to do with a difficult past, but agree about alcohol and drugs.

Pixiechic wrote: »

The OP is obviously not happy about her weight and has other weight related health problems. Her now ex was encouraging her to lose some as is her doctor. He was right to try, given the other circumstance of her being 43 with high blood pressure and wanting a baby.

You think that her ex was encouraging her to lose weight but to me it sounded more like he was issuing ultimatums and undermining her self esteem. Compare and contrast with my OH, who actually loves and cares for me. He knows I want to lose weight (for myself, not because he has told me I should). So he has started coming for long walks with me, and is also trying to eat more healthily himself, and cut down on alcohol, as he knows it will help me to do the same. That is encouraging someone to lose weight, not telling them you'll dump them if they don't do it. And do you not think the fact that he dumped her anyway a mere day after this conversation, speaks volumes about him?

Pixiechic wrote: »

I just don't understand the support from other overweight people. I suppose it is like drug addicts and alcoholics who support each other too.

Um, do you not think that perhaps it's because other overweight people actually know what it's like to be overweight? I think perhaps you are misinterpreting the support. Just because I think her ex was out of order does not mean I am supporting the OP to stay dangerously overweight. It means that I recognise that the way he has behaved is quite likely to be counterproductive. He basically told her that unless she changes she's not good enough for him. That is not going to help anyone with weight related self esteem issues. Again, contrast with my OH, who I know would love me no matter what size I am. He makes me feel wanted and loved, and good about myself, and that in itself helps me to lose the weight.

Pixiechic wrote: »

The help is there if you want to lose weight, if you need a dietitian, therapy, groups and clubs, its all there. Its just whether or not you want to help yourself.

Yes, us fat people all know that. I'm guessing you've never really been overweight.

Loopy_Girl

Snuggles wrote: »

I was an overweight child, and it has affected all aspects of my life. I was the one who got picked on and called names at school, and who, from the age of 11 onwards, regularly contemplated suicide. The more miserable my existence became, the more I turned to food to fill the void and try to take away the pain and loneliness I experienced throughout my childhood. The emotional and psychological effects are long lasting, and twenty years later, I still battle with my weight, and it is still a very emotional and painful issue for me.

If you think that "berating" me will help in any way, I am glad you are not my friend.

Oh pulease. It's like the smoker that can't stop as they 'will be too stressed'...excuses excuses

You know exactly what you are doing wrong and yet at still choose to not get a grip on things and not be overweight for the first time in your life.

Overweight kid - blame the parents, overweight adult - no reason and certainly not any reason to be using a crap childhoold as a crutch.

You say it causes you emotional pain yak yaka - so then change.

And if I was your friend I would tell you not to feel so sorry for yourself and concentrate on being a healthy adult as oppose to referring back to being a fat kid.

Snuggles

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Oh pulease. It's like the smoker that can't stop as they 'will be too stressed'...excuses excuses

You know exactly what you are doing wrong and yet at still choose to not get a grip on things and not be overweight for the first time in your life.

Overweight kid - blame the parents, overweight adult - no reason and certainly not any reason to be using a crap childhoold as a crutch.

You say it causes you emotional pain yak yaka - so then change.

And if I was your friend I would tell you not to feel so sorry for yourself and concentrate on being a healthy adult as oppose to referring back to being a fat kid.

What a nasty post. I don't feel sorry for myself, I was trying to show you that being overweight can be a complex emotional issue, as you clearly know little about it.

I'll tell you something positive that I've gained from it though - I don't sit on my high horse in judgement of people who have problems that I don't fully understand.

POPPYOSCAR

Snuggles.

Take no notice some people just like to evoke a reaction.

Loopy_Girl

Hmmmm I was wondering when I would get called a name.

Perhaps some people can't deal with honesty and prefer the soothing fwuffy bunny replies....probably the same people that refuse to make life changes however.

I wish the OP well and seriously hopes she takes the challenge to drastically improve her health.

Snuggles

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Snuggles.

Take no notice some people just like to evoke a reaction.

Thank you Poppy x

Snuggles

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Hmmmm I was wondering when I would get called a name.

Perhaps some people can't deal with honesty and prefer the soothing fwuffy bunny replies....probably the same people that refuse to make life changes however.

Oh for goodness sake. I didn't call you a name, I don't know you. I said you wrote a nasty post.

I hope you don't find youself one day being judged for having a problem most people don't understand, as I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I'll be taking Poppy's advice and making no further response to you.

Fang_3

Snuggles wrote: »

What a nasty post. I don't feel sorry for myself, I was trying to show you that being overweight can be a complex emotional issue, as you clearly know little about it.

I'll tell you something positive that I've gained from it though - I don't sit on my high horse in judgement of people who have problems that I don't fully understand.

I'm sorry but she's right. The only thing that is stopping you from losing weight is yourself. You should take responsibility for your actions and not seek to lay blame in childhood. You're an adult (apparently) so act like one.