Think he was just a wee bit 2 honest. ( long, sorry)

Soubrette

I'm a fat lady although always trying to lose weight for health reasons.

If a man said this to me then I would have to consider the relationship very carefully, not because someone has said I'm fat and I need to lose weight, because I do. It would be more about the fact that he talks about a 'type' and feels like Shallow Hal and so is obviously telling me that visual things are very important to him.

They are not to me, I do not think that ugly people become more attractive when they lose weight or that attractive people become ugly when they get fat. I love my husband to bits but sometimes don't notice for days if he's shaved. I'm much more concerned about character, give me kind and loyal and funny over someone who spends hours on his hair or agonises over clothes etc.

It's not that I feel someone interested in appearances is shallow - it's more that it's something that is not overly interesting to me and so if I were going out with someone where it was so important to them then I would have to ask if we were actually compatible for the long term.

I have been out with someone in the past as a casual relationship and when he wanted to get serious made it clear that if we lived together, his daily cannabis habit would have to stop. The relationship did not go any further as he did not want to give it up but we are still friends Two people who cared for each other alot but visualised different futures which could not include the other.

tattoed_bum

I just want to say what a horrid man ,big ((((hugs )))) to you ,
there will be another drop dead gorgeous man thats just right for you on the horizon but one that will worship you for just being you .

ailuro2

Nah, stay away from the drop dead gorgeous ones... go for someone with a kind heart, a generous nature and the ability to appreciate a good joke. They're much more fun, and although they might not look so good as the guy off of the Davidoff ads they will be there to hold your hand when life isn't so kind to you...

flutterby_lil

just checked back to see how things went last night, sorry to read what happened.

be happy, lose weight for you, do what you want. there are other ways to have children, adoption, fostering, maybe dedicate your free time to looking into this? good luck x

blushred2

Thank you all so much for ur comments.

its his birthday today, and i've left him alone as requested.
i've returned the gifts i'd bought him

Regarding the holiday, i'd only put a small deposit down, nothing that is going to annoy me greatly to loose.

I just feel sad. The guy has a few problems of his own, and i would have liked them sorted.
Only knowing him 6 months, i would have loved a child with him, but at the back of my head was always the thought that i didn't know him well enough. didn't want to rush into things.

My life is not as i expcted it. it would have been nice to have been like everyone esle i know. married with kids by a certain age.

I wish him only the best, and even though he has shown his true colours. i still love and care for him. I'm no longer wanted!!!

But as so many have said, gotta move on, do this for my self.

Have a lovely weekend everyone, i will be trying hard to fill an aching empty void.

clairehi

blushred2 wrote: »

he actually told me to go hang myself...

What a nasty piece of work.

Lucky escape does not begin to describe it. I am so sorry that this guy turned out not to be the dream man that he seemed.
Try not to let this knock your confidence, this is all about his problems not yours! wish you all the best.

NAR

blushred2 wrote: »

Have a lovely weekend everyone, i will be trying hard to fill an aching empty void.

Sorry I'm not available, but give me a big hug and I'll fill the void for a few seconds! :A
Have a lovely weekend yourself. :beer:

POPPYOSCAR

NAR wrote: »

Sorry I'm not available, but give me a big hug and I'll fill the void for a few seconds! :A
Have a lovely weekend yourself. :beer:

Lovely thought NAR.


Make that 2 of us.

Youdontseeme

Regarding the holiday, i'd only put a small deposit down, nothing that is going to annoy me greatly to loose.

Just a suggestion but.............

Take the money you were going to spend on the trip and put it towards a week or two in the sun somewhere. Pack all the books you want to read, swim, eat healthy (always easier to do abroad I find!) get a tan, drink a few strange sounding cocktails and flirt with dodgy waiters young enough to be your er... younger brother, and when you come home.. get yourself a new 'do, join a few clubs, your in your 40's your not dead! You have spent your life caring for other people, its time to start looking after yourself.

HAVE SOME FUN!

I was terrified about going on holiday on my own (friend let me down) but I have to admit it was one of the best I ever had, and I would reccommened it to anyone who needs a bit of "me" time and by the sounds of it, you do! Infact I would do it again if only funds allowed.

Good luck
YDSM

balletshoes

blushred2 wrote: »

i was too emotional after he had only been trying to 'gee' me into action.

he actually told me to go hang myself...

Now surely after saying things like that to you, you must know he wasn't interested in helping you get healthy for your own good and for a future with him - he was more into the way you look than the lovely person you are, and that was never going to change for him.