Think he was just a wee bit 2 honest. ( long, sorry)

NAR

blushred2 wrote: »

i was too emotional after he had only been trying to 'gee' me into action.
he actually told me to go hang myself...

So sorry to hear it ended this way, but what a plonker for saying these things! Ah well FWIW I think it is his loss.

gratefulforhelp_2

Babe, that's a lucky escape. If this relationship had run it's course, you would have been an emotional shadow of your former self.
What a w.a.n.k.e.r.

poet123

pantherblackfocus wrote: »

What happens if you lose the weight, have kids then put some/a lot of weight back on. Is he going to dump you then ?

I think that would be my worry too. Anyone who can say this in the "honeymoon" period of a relationship will beable to say much worse further down the line. I wouldn't stay with him.

ETA read your latest post after I posted, you are well rid, what a horrible specimen

Mojisola

blushred2 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies.
i am functioning on auto pilot, as he got rid of me yesterday.

So sorry it's ended that way.

Please don't let it knock your view of yourself. You've been through very difficult times - quote - "I nursed my mum for 18 years until she died from diabetes related illness.

Have had 2 long term relationships, the 1st with a guy who was an alcoholic, and before i had the guts to leave started to beat he crap out of me, cheated on me and took out cards and loans in my name.
all before mse. so i worked 2 jobs for 7 years to pay it all off.

2nd guy, lovely, but still a boy, did not want the relationship to progress towards marriage and kids, i ate more becasue i could see the time passing by and nothing changes. but like the previous guy i loved him and stayed.

After that ended dad took sick.

Its only in the last year that i feel like i've come out the other side."

You must be very strong to have coped with all this. :A Get someone to help you with the comfort eating problem and look forward to the rest of your life.

blushred2

I'm getting a bit of back pay and had organised a trip to eurodisney at the end of the month for the 3 of us.

we hadn't told his daugher as it was going to be a big suprise.

my whole future has changed before my eyes.

alone again !!!



suprisingly eating is the last thing on my mind.


thank you all.

i really have very little confidence, and this guy made me feel a million dollars.
the 3rd date or so he called to my house to collect me.
when he got out of his car to come to the door, i nearly fainted.
this guy is tall, blonde, incredibly handsome, beautifully dressed.
the kind of guy i'd only dream about.
he said all the right things, we hardly were apart.
it was 5 months of the most lovely time i've ever had.
followed by a month, of not such great time.

you live and learn as they say.

he was my last chance to have kids, i'm 43. and just need to accept and move on. just keep breathing.

ailuro2

blushred2, I'm so sorry to hear that he really did turn out to be a shallow person - I've never watched Shallow Hal as the whole concept of getting laughs out of someone being overweight didn't appeal to me, so I can't say whether he's Hal or not.

He's a nasty piece of work all round though, as proven by what he suggested you do to yourself. That's downright evil.

I think you've had a lucky escape - Lord forbid you had a child with this man and then he decided you weren't to his liking - what would he have done then?

Breathe a sigh of relief and go to the gym tomorrow - nothing will make you feel better than getting healthy for your own benefit - and while you're at the gym please take a look around - for every hunk or gym bunny there are people like ourselves slogging away to try to live a healthier longer life. I'm only saying go to the gym as that's the best way to burn a bit of fat off rather than wrecking your metabolism by dieting too hard, as it was clear from your posts you did want to lose a bit of weight / get healthier.

Today, Friday 13th August really is the start of a new life for you. For some it might be unlucky but it's your lucky day.
Be strong tomorrow but take a day today to write down how you feel at your lowest, have a glass of wine and a slice of pizza if you feel like it, have a good cry too and get the slimeball out of your system... as I have a feeling from tomorrow you're on the road up to being a happy healthy person who is going to learn to love themselves just a bit more.:) even better why not phone up a friend and ask them round for a few drinks and a chat, pick the person who will give you a shoulder to cry on and stop you thinking nice things about him (if that's possible)

Once you can love yourself then you'll find that other nice folks will be more than happy to love you too rather than manipulating you or controlling how you live your life.

Good Luck! :beer:

We're all still here if you need to vent or ramble on about anything.;)

Mojisola

blushred2 wrote: »

i really have very little confidence

You could deal with this at the same time as the comfort eating. Start believing in yourself - you couldn't have coped the way you have done if you weren't strong. It's very debilitating, caring for sick people for so long. You must have put yourself second for many years and that can become a habit that's hard to break.

Don't give up on the future. Let your light shine and who knows what may happen!

ailuro2

just read your post about the Eurodisney trip - is there anyone else you could take with you, pay for a name change instead of losing the money?

just trying to be MSE:money:

shellsuit

blushred2 wrote: »

I'm getting a bit of back pay and had organised a trip to eurodisney at the end of the month for the 3 of us.

we hadn't told his daugher as it was going to be a big suprise.

my whole future has changed before my eyes.

alone again !!!



suprisingly eating is the last thing on my mind.


thank you all.

i really have very little confidence, and this guy made me feel a million dollars.
the 3rd date or so he called to my house to collect me.
when he got out of his car to come to the door, i nearly fainted.
this guy is tall, blonde, incredibly handsome, beautifully dressed.
the kind of guy i'd only dream about.
he said all the right things, we hardly were apart.
it was 5 months of the most lovely time i've ever had.
followed by a month, of not such great time.

you live and learn as they say.

he was my last chance to have kids, i'm 43. and just need to accept and move on. just keep breathing.

Well now you know looks can be deceiving, no matter how 'good looking' he is on the outside, he is downright pig ugly on the inside.

You seem a lovely woman and I hope you meet someone who will love you for YOU, inside and out.

I'm so sorry he trampled all over the little bit of self confidence you had x

NAR

blushred2 wrote: »

my whole future has changed before my eyes.
alone again !!!

i really have very little confidence, and this guy made me feel a million dollars.
the 3rd date or so he called to my house to collect me.
when he got out of his car to come to the door, i nearly fainted.
this guy is tall, blonde, incredibly handsome, beautifully dressed.
the kind of guy i'd only dream about.
he said all the right things, we hardly were apart.
it was 5 months of the most lovely time i've ever had.

Please try and take the positives out of these last 5 months; you obviously have "what it takes" when he wanted to be with you that long. Alone again, maybe for now but something tells me it won't be for long. Yes your confidence has taken a knock, but don't allow yourself to be floored. Hold your head high you have done nothing wrong. As for your last chance for kids, never say never.