Am I being awful?

seven-day-weekend

You are not free to have a relationship with this man. Neither is he to have one with you. The 'unfinished business' will go away eventually.

How would you feel if your husband wanted to meet someone he'd had a one-night stand with, saying he had 'unfinished business' to sort out and who he feels he still has a 'chemistry' with? Would you feel cheated upon? Would you wonder how the 'unfinished business' would be sorted out? Why does the umfinished business matter anyway ?

Don't contact him again, change your e-mail and phone number, delete all his contact details and get on with your life.

GingerFurball_2

topsym wrote: »

Absolutely,and this is certainly what I am thinking, but I am curious.


I don't want to meet his family, and i'm sure he's not bothered about meeting mine or anybody elses's families that will be at the reunion, we dont know them, its about the friends we had at uni, nothing suspicious about it. TBH I think it might be weirder if his wife met me anyway, esp if she is the insecure type, certainly to be told we had a relationship of sorts at uni, Im sure she wouldnt be impressed!

We are both adults and aware of our responsiblities, and I can fantasise but dont have to act upon it. I'm sure most people are guilty of adultery in their head at some point in their lives if they care to admit it.

Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.

If this "re-union" happens, one of two things will happen:

1. You'll meet up, and the 15 years that have passed will have changed both of you so much that you have nothing in common any more. The meeting will be awkward and uncomfortable, and while you'll leave completely and utterly secure in your relationship, you can't tell your husband that you're more secure, because the fact that you had to meet up with an ex to confirm that will hurt him greatly.

2. You'll meet up and it'll be as if those 15 years never happened. All of the old chemistry will still be there. You grab lunch and have a glass of wine. Maybe hit a few bars and have a really fun, and so far innocent, day out. But the wine will keep flowing, and eventually you'll both turn to reminiscing about that magical night at the end of uni. Sparks will fly and there will be electricity in the air. You'll both have the chance to escape from your realities - you with your "lovely" (translation: boring) husband, him from his wife and the realities of fatherhood. You'll have one last chance to be 22 again, with the world as your oyster. You'll catch each other's eye, the gaze will linger just a split second longer than it should, and you'll both have had too much wine to think about curbing your instincts.

shellsuit

sassy-one wrote: »

Please add more detail to your post.....

Are you advising the OP to meet this uni guy and risk her marriage on him??

It's probably the OP herself with a new name, especially considering the other post made by them.

LilacPixie

any unfinished business was finished 12 years ago when you lost touch/stopped contact.
I don't get why if your were such close friends at uni you then slept together and went your seperate ways. I'm guessing you fancied him, he didn't fancy you but come end of uni you were still gagging for it and he thought may as well i'll never have to see this bunny boiler again. Now you have made contact he will be thinking way hey.

eleanora_

LilacPixie wrote: »

I'm guessing you fancied him, he didn't fancy you but come end of uni you were still gagging for it and he thought may as well i'll never have to see this bunny boiler again. Now you have made contact he will be thinking way hey.

:rotfl: exactly my interpretation as well!

piratefairy

If you genuinely wanted to meet up with him for nothing more than a catch up / reunion, you'd tell your husband, and you'd invite he and his family to meet you and yours. You wouldn't post annonymously on this thread as you'd have nothing to hide.
I think that says it all about what you really feel about the "innocent" situation.

Everyone makes decisions in life, and lives would have been different if they chose a different path, but that's the point of making the choice. YOu can't try them all out, if he had meant that much to you at the end of uni you would have done soething about it then.
Just remember that the grass isn't always greener, and by going through with this, which it souinds like you will do regardless of any advice you may have received, you are potentially ruining the lives of three other people who probably thought they were happy in their relationships.

galvanizersbaby

sassy-one wrote: »

Yes, there is a child involved so I have read??

OP is not the mother of that child and isn't likely to ever want to be/be likely to be from what I've read!

topsym

shellsuit wrote: »

It's probably the OP herself with a new name, especially considering the other post made by them.

Is that just because someone does'nt necessarily agree with what you say??

I am no longer posting due to all of the assumptions being made about me, most of them so far off the mark its frightening.

And sorry to disappoint those of you, but the situation between mrx and I was NEVER one sided, it was at the time mutual admiration, but I am sure the many negative posters of you will find something to pick fault with that as you do.

I have genuinely posted for advice, not to be insulted for asking for advice, please respect that!

Pepzofio

I don't think you have been insulted for asking for advice, I think mostly you have been insulted for ignoring advice.

shellsuit

topsym wrote: »

Is that just because someone does'nt necessarily agree with what you say??

I am no longer posting due to all of the assumptions being made about me, most of them so far off the mark its frightening.

And sorry to disappoint those of you, but the situation between mrx and I was NEVER one sided, it was at the time mutual admiration, but I am sure the many negative posters of you will find something to pick fault with that as you do.

I have genuinely posted for advice, not to be insulted for asking for advice, please respect that!

No, it's because it is a new user, whose first post was to come here to 'back you up' and the other only post is this...

The best start to my day is when I have an email from a certain chap I know :kisses3::D

Coincidence?