Am I being awful?

Pepzofio

topsym wrote: »

SORRY, again wouldnt it be possible for him to text me in a positive manner??? Why always the negative??

*sigh* I meant it doesn't prove either way how he feels - shoppaholic returns had asked if I thought his text 'meant' that it wasn't one-sided, which I thought it did - if taken at face value. I was just pointing out that it could have been more along the lines of 'yeah, it would be great to hook up sometime' and misinterpreted by you. I did point out that I wasn't accusing you of doing this (accidentally or on purpose).

topsym wrote: »

By phone its in my post. I rang him and he has since texted me back.OK.

Sorry I got confused by:

topsym wrote: »

6.I've recieved a text from him, saying how lovely it was to hear from me, he wants to meet up. I havent replied, he still has my number from the old days. I'm certainly not doing the chasing there!!

Which makes it sound like you hadn't called him, or there would be no need to point out why he had your number.

poet123

This all happened 12 years ago? and you had a mobile then,and still have the same number today? and he alsokept all his contacts from that time? how odd.

mackemdave

To me this statement

6.I've recieved a text from him, saying how lovely it was to hear from me, he wants to meet up. I havent replied, he still has my number from the old days. I'm certainly not doing the chasing there!!

Show that you are either a liar,a fake or both....You said there had been no contact for 12 yrs!!!!!!!....Youve got the same mobile no you had 12 yrs ago????

PATHETIC(in more ways than one)....still say this thread is a myth from some bored school kid

Triggles

Personally, I think from reading the first post by the OP, that she posted her feelings there, and has since been backpedaling and trying to justify things as she gets more and more negative responses. She KNOWS what she is doing is wrong but is desperately trying to put a spin on it or justify it by saying it's all innocent. If you go back and read her first post, it says it all there... the motive, what she hopes will happen...all of it.

OP, you are deluding yourself in a big big way. But, as in the case of most people who struggle and go to great lengths to justify bad decisions, you will end up doing whatever you want, regardless of who you may hurt. It just doesn't seem to matter to you that other people are going to hurt as well. You've already stated that you talked to him at length on the phone, discussed families and children and such, so I don't really see what else you really need to discuss and why you would need to discuss it in person. It really only leaves one possibility...that you want to see if that spark is still there... and the only reason to want to know that would be to act on it.

I have to agree with previous posters that said that you were not really looking for advice...(as obviously you've ignored the vast majority of advice given here)... you were looking for permission. I noticed that you took an inordinately long time to acknowledge and answer those that asked you if you would be upset if it was your DH that was meeting up with an old flame.

I'd say this is the most appropriate at this point :wall:

sassy_one

topsym wrote: »

Is that a good reason to insult someone, because they dont agree with your opinion??

1.I havent ignored any advice, because I havent made ANY decisions!

2.I post on here, and I'm seeking attention.

3.I dont post on here, and I'm a fake.

4.I contact him after 12 years, and am asked why he hasnt contacted me in that time.

5.Well why havent I contacted him,before now, because Im going on with my life happily and would just like a catch up.

6.I've recieved a text from him, saying how lovely it was to hear from me, he wants to meet up. I havent replied, he still has my number from the old days. I'm certainly not doing the chasing there!!

I'm damned whatever I post, so therefore seemingly deemed suitable for attack from many!!

OH, AND FYI I DONT HAVE HIS EMAIL DETAILS NOR WISH TO HAVE THEM

OP, I think that you are very selfish.
You are risking hurting a lot of people and your marriage.

You have failed to take on board the advice offered by many people on this forum, many of which know how much and what you risk losing, as well as others who have been through divorce, such as myself and know how painful what you are doing will end up.


I really don't feel sorry for you in anyway, I feel sorry for your husband.
You clearly know best and haven't listened to our advice, so what was the point of posting your thread here, maybe you are a troll, may be you are not - I don't think you are, but even if you are at least others will gain some insight to the damage actions such as you are considering will and can do.


By you meeting and/or talking to this plank, you are placing the stakes even higher against you losing your marriage, which from your posts I don't really think that you really are bothered, specially if you hurt your husband or not.


You have claimed, that you have 'unfinished business' - does a married women/man say that about a ex sexual partner/uni friend?!

You are going to rip your husband to bits, and in time you will regret what you have done.

I will be honest, I personally don't think even if you don't meet this uni guy that your marriage will last, you don't sound ready to be married by your posts at this time.
However, that gives you no right to go behind your husbands back or break his heart, as well as anyone elses who gets in the way.


May be one day you will get hurt and someone will do what you are doing to you.


I think you are very selfish and obviously your husband doesn't deserve this, nor does the other guys wife, your going to hurt so many people.

Are you not posting very much 9apart from making fake accounts too) because you know the advice given to you, to help YOU, is correct and sounds right? or were you hoping for someone to say it's okay for what you are doing, go ahead, so you don't have to live with your actions.


You don't deserve to be married, not when you clearly will risk losing it all so easy, marriage is not about what you are doing!!!

Mutter_2

I do laugh at many indignant replies on here.
OP wrestled with feelings for a past love.

Do you really think your husbands have no such feelings for others? Your friends, relatives or past girlfriends? If you think not, you are deluding yourselves.

poet123

Mutter wrote: »

I do laugh at many indignant replies on here.
OP wrestled with feelings for a past love.

Do you really think your husbands have no such feelings for others? Your friends, relatives or past girlfriends? If you think not, you are deluding yourselves.

Sadly, there speaks a bitter woman.

MrsE_2

topsym wrote: »

Thanks for your replies!
I'm not unhappy in my marriage I have a lovely husband, and I wouldn't want to ruin anyones life. I just feel I have unfinished business there, I might even see him and talk to him and know its not right like you say, but I just really would like to see him. I know its sad, but i feel he's the one that got away.

If you are comfortable telling your husband where you are going & he is doing likewise with his wife & your spouses are happy then whats the problem?

Or are you planning to meet in secret?

Don't do anything you wouldn't want your husband to know.

sassy_one

MrsE wrote: »

If you are comfortable telling your husband where you are going & he is doing likewise with his wife & your spouses are happy then whats the problem?

Or are you planning to meet in secret?

Don't do anything you wouldn't want your husband to know.

From her posts, I don't think she cares what her husband finds out, deep down.

If she did, she would just know without coming on here asking, what she is doing is wrong

balletshoes

Mutter wrote: »

I do laugh at many indignant replies on here.
OP wrestled with feelings for a past love.

Do you really think your husbands have no such feelings for others? Your friends, relatives or past girlfriends? If you think not, you are deluding yourselves.

I'm honestly not getting that thats the issue - I think what most people are commenting on is that OP has stated she wants to meet him, and doesn't know if she'll be able to control herself if the old feelings are rekindled. Now, because OP also states she's happily married, the advice of most of us is to just not go there, as its only inviting complications where there need not be any.

It wouldn't bother me at all if my OH occasionally thinks of some old flame, although to be honest its been years since I have - but if either of us went off behind the others back and met old flame, then its gone past "thinking" or "fantasising" and its into "doing". I think thats where the line is being drawn isn't it? Sure, fantasise all you like, but leave it at that - a pleasant fantasy.