Am I being awful?

shellsuit

topsym wrote: »

Why does lusting after someone and after 4 years doing something about it whilst at uni make me a trout! Its all in the past.

How very constuctive!!!

Are you derranged?

You are lusting after him.

You want to meet him.

You have feelings for him which you have never had for your husband.

It's not in the past at all is it if you want to see him.

That's what makes you a trout.

And a selfish one at that.

Grow up, get a grip and concentrate on your family.

fantasia322

topsym wrote: »

Why does lusting after someone and after 4 years doing something about it whilst at uni make me a trout! Its all in the past.

How very constuctive!!!

Shellsuit used the word 'trout' because even now after 5 pages of good reason why you should'nt meet this guy, you are still searching for some answer that will validate you doing just that. Pointing out the pitfalls, what might happens etc has'nt. Your replies make it seem like people are posting for nothing. Kinda think that Shellsuit is venting cos you ain't listening

shellsuit

fantasia322 wrote: »

Shellsuit used the word 'trout' because even now after 5 pages of good reason why you should'nt meet this guy, you are still searching for some answer that will validate you doing just that. Pointing out the pitfalls, what might happens etc has'nt. Your replies make it seem like people are posting for nothing. Kinda think that Shellsuit is venting cos you ain't listening

It wasn't a rant as such.

Anyone who is lusting over another man and who is deceiving their husband and wants to further deceive him by meeting with the other guy is a trout!

Well, trout is putting it nicely. There are other words I'd use but I think the filter would block them out

My_Fathers_Daughter

fluffnutter wrote: »

That's probably true, topsym. It's not what you think about that matters, it's what you do. So here you go - here's the advice.... Think about him all you like. But arranging to meet him? That's actually doing something isn't it...

I disagree with this.

If I am spending my time fantasising about another man then I am clearly not happy in my marriage.

If my husband gives me everything I need then I have no reason to lust after another.


But having said that, thoughts are something that most marriages would survive - acting on those thoughts is where marriages are destroyed.

Mr.Mulla

I'm sorry to say, but I don't think it is a good idea for you to see him again.Both of you have your own families to consider.

Meeting him would be tantamount to playing with fire, so think real hard before deciding. There is just too much to lose.

brians_daughter

I am bowing out of this tread now, I have a work meeting soonish and my mascara is running all down my face at the hilarities of this woman No dounts i will be back later for a giggle...

geri1965_2

shellsuit wrote: »

Well, trout is putting it nicely. There are other words I'd use but I think the filter would block them out

Trollop?

(just testing the filter)

fantasia322

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

brians_daughter wrote: »

I am bowing out of this tread now, I have a work meeting soonish and my mascara is running all down my face at the hilarities of this woman No dounts i will be back later for a giggle...

:T:T:T:T
Me too lol

clearing_out_my_pockets

Just to add my thoughts / experiences...

At secondary school, I dated a guy (let's call him J) on & off for two years (didn't sleep with him) and I was head over heels. After leaving we went our separate ways but I thought of him often and he was my 'one that got away'. I met a new partner (M) who I was with for 6 years. On occassions over the first two of those 6 years, I met up with J with the full knowledge of M. After all, J & I had been friends, we hadn't slept together, etc. M knew about my past feelings for J. Nothing happened, but the spark was still there. After M & I split up (nothing to do with J) J got in touch with me not knowing I was single. I didn't tell him I was single either as I didn't want to ruin our friendship. After three months I came clean and admitted that M & I had split up. J & I are now engaged and M still to this day believes that I was unfaithful. Emotionally, I suppose I was.

Do you seriously think no harm can come of this? Although meeting with J didn't end my relationship, the fact that I am with him now has ruined my ex's memories of our relationship. He believes that the whole time we were together I was thinking of J.

clearing_out_my_pockets

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

If I am spending my time fantasising about another man then I am clearly not happy in my marriage.

If my husband gives me everything I need then I have no reason to lust after another.

Agreed. The latter stages of my previous relationship were not happy. I knew I was playing with fire, so I backed off and ceased all contact. We became an item when both of us were single.