Feeling lost

beckseven

My OH last night told me he wants a divorce. We had a bad argument last night and haven't being getting along for a while-I feel he has become a stranger over the past couple of years. we have 2 lovely children. I'm so mixed up today-i haven't slept and my husband says he wants me out of the house and staying at my mum and dads who live 45 minutes away. I'm at work at present and I think that he is packing my stuff for me now. I'm so worried about the kids especially my four year old who is going to start school in September-i don't want him to get messed up because of our problems and I want him to go to the school he has got into. I'm all over the place today-I don't know what to do-I can't bear the thought of having to share my kids special occasions and my husband said in anger last night that he wouldnt let me have them. We've been married for 6 years and i hoped it would be for ever. I'm not perfect in this scenario either as I lost my temper really badly last night

Jo_R_2

Hiya

Do you own your house and is he saying he wants you to move out and the kids stay with him?

How would he fare if when you got back from work you suggested sitting down and talking (without the heat of the argument) to see what you can sort out?

Hobo17

I definitely would not move out the house, this may not look favourable if you want to get custody of the kids later (I'm not an expert at all but this is always consistently stated in threads like these and I have seen a couple of situations personally where this has backfired on the person moving out).

I would try and ring round and see if you can get a free 1/2 hour legal advice which some solicitors offer (guess you need one that specialises in family law), or try the CAB and see what they suggest.

Probably best though to try and sit down and have a calm discussion tonight about it all, maybe counselling is a way forward?

beckseven

Hi thanks for replying. We do own our own house-I think he just wants me out of his sight-I don't think it would be practical for the kids to stay with him and it would break my heart. He seems to despise me so I daren't talk to him when I get in-think this is the whole problem- I'm scared of him-not violence wise but he shouts a lot.

beckseven

That's really scaring me now-I'm not going to leave the house now as my kids are my life but he may try and force me as he has nowhere to move to.

Pixiechic

Hi beckseven,

If you have been up all night having a blazing row then you are both tired and negative now. Many things have probably been said that were hurtful and didn't really mean or might of meant, but you'd both lost your tempers, it happens.

You could both probably do with a bit of space just to cool down and have a clearer head after a good nights sleep.

Could you say that you will go and stay at your parents tonight but you will be coming home tomorrow and then you can both talk once calmer?

Is he asking you to move out permanently or just for tonight as you say he hasn't got anywhere else to go.?

Threebabes

If the house is in both your names and youve got the kids, I would be telling him if anyone is going, its him. I would be furious if I got home and my bags were packed for me. Big hugs hun. x

minnie123

Don't move out - he is the one who wants space and says he wants a divorce so he should be the one to go - don't let him bully you. If he tries to bully you out I would contact the police they don't have to actually hit you for it to be abuse.

thorsoak

Beckseven - DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE! Ask your OH to leave - for the weekend at least - and get legal advice asap.

If you and OH are splitting up, your children will need some stability in their young lives - and even if eventually you do have to leave your home, let them get used to Mummy & Daddy not living together any more first.

I would think that there is more to your OH's request that you leave the house than is obvious at the moment.

You aren't the first woman to be in this position - you'll find that lots of women on the board have been in the same situation as you find yourself - and you'll get loads of support and constructive information from them.

Newly_retired

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family/ending_a_marriage.htm#housing_rights_at_the_end_of_a_marriage
Lots of helpful advice on the CAB website. You don't have to leave. If the house is in joint names, you both have rights.

gratefulforhelp_2

Hugs darling. Do. Not. Leave. The. Marital. Home.

Do not leave your children. You need some time off work to sort this out. You need to suss out where all yours and the children's documents are and keep in a safe place.

He will need to move out.