Just found out I'm pregnant - am scared

Siemo

You are so brave, and I'm sure you will be a wonderful mummy. You will have tough times ahead, but none of us know what the future holds and life rarely turns out exactly how you expect it to. You will also have the happiest moments of your life with your little one. I hope you have some good friends and family who will support you, but you seem to have an inner strength and I'm sure you will manage perfectly on your own. I wish you the very best of luck and hope you'll keep us posted on your journey.

(PS make sure your ex pays everything your baby is entitled to, it's the very least he can do after treating you like this)

emsywoo123

chocciefan wrote: »

i would rather walk down the road with my baby alone, with my head held high than hold out for a man that 'might' change his mind.

I am 25 weeks pregnant, which goes some way to explain this, but this particular part brought a tear to my eye

I am a single mum to a wonderful DD,(6) and pregnant with DS, but I am doing it alone and totally support your sentiment.

I split with EX when I was about 9 weeks, and hard as it was, my motto was exactly as yours was, and 4 months on, I KNOW I made the right decision.

If you need me, I am but a PM away

Lara44

Chocciefan HUGE (((((((hugs))))))))

I am so sorry your now ex hasn't chosen to support you. You must be feeling very upset and disappointed. What a brave and determined lady you are, what a wonderful Mum you'll be. Just because you're going to be a Mum doesn't mean you won't find the right man and settle down in the future. The future is still out there for you, and it's going to be great.

MrsE_2

graemecarter wrote: »

You MUST communicate honestly and respectfully with your partner. It is his baby too remember. He has a say.

If this will be difficult, get an outside, neutral, third party involved to facilitate.
This is the kind of decision that needs to me made fairly quickly, but with A LOT of thought behind it.

Good luck - I panicked for about 7 months until my first one was born. :rotfl:

No OP he doesn't have a say, its your body.
OP it would be wise to think about how you would feel about bringing up this baby without him, rather than praying he will change his mind. He may well do, but I think its best to plan for the worst & hope for the best.

lauren_1

He might change his mine but his attitude does rather stink, when i fell pregnant with my dd he had the same attitude as your ex and then when he came back round to the idea after acting like a massive childish t w a t for 3 weeks i just couldnt bear rekindling the relationship, i saw a side of him that disgusted me. He kept up the pretence that i was the only one he wanted etc etc but after the 24 week (abortion) limit passed i didnt see him for dust.

It worked out ok though, she's 8 now, just out of the doll phase and learning all about girly shopping.

jtr2803

Hi Choccie,

I have been reading for a while but haven't posted until now, hopefully you will understand why I have decided to now.

I am so sorry to hear how your (ex) partner has treated you, whilst it is better that you know now rather than 5 years down the line I know it won't stop it from hurting. When I read your comments about not knowing people I knew exactly what you meant.....

I found out I was pregnant three years into my relationship with my ex and from the moment I told him I could see how much he didn't want me to continue with the pregnancy. Whilst our circumstances at the time were not perfect I also thought that if we were in love then we would find a way to manage, even if in the short term it wasn't ideal. He had very different plans and essentially bullied me into going through a termination, he was also plain nasty along with it and showed me a side of him I never though existed.

Our relationship didn't survive and I don't think it would have either way. Fortunately I am now with a fantastic man and things managed to work out just fine for me, and I know they will for you, whatever decision you make. I can imagine all the emotions you are going through and I am sure you feel so lost and bewildered at how you are being treated. Unfortunately situations like this can bring out the worst in people. He may change his mind but he may not, you have to allow yourself some time to hurt and hate him for the way he has treated you but you must ultimately make the right decision for you and your circumstances.

Please do not worry what other people think of your choices, what works for some does not work for others.

Wishing you all the best with your decisions

Jody

x

MrsE_2

chocciefan wrote: »

i would rather walk down the road with my baby alone, with my head held high than hold out for a man that 'might' change his mind.

I've got a feeling you will do just fine;)

You may have had a lucky escape finding out what he's like now.

Loopy_Girl

chocciefan wrote: »

Hi again everyone,

I had a chat with my boyfriend last night and he is adament that he doesn't want this baby.

He's not sure about the future and that includes me. This is the man that said he wanted to marry me!!

That was all I needed to hear to realise that I will be bringing up this baby alone.

Going to the doctor's now, but will post again later.

This may sound weird to you but I think this is good news...good in the sense that he has told you know and you can make an informed decision based wholly on YOUR needs - though I gather you are keeping the baby.

At least you didn't have a 7 month bump and he bolted. So now you can make plans and get things organised and have them your way.

I've already posted and you know I have been exactly in your shoes so I'm always here if you need a chat or anything...PM if you prefer.

Now that you've made the decision, start to get excited - it's a wonderful happy time and every child is a blessing...they truly are.

You will cope...I know you will Get yourself over to the pregnancy thread and you can get lots of support there

LG x

Loopy_Girl

MrsE wrote: »

You may have had a lucky escape finding out what he's like now.

Agree with that.

Hopefully the baby will keep her mind off her upset just now...she'll be wiped out anyway being the first trimester so all she'll be able to think of is her bed;)

She's going to be a marvellous Mummy - look how well she has coped already!!

Choccie...alot of people go on about how hard it is to be a single Mum etc etc and don't get me wrong, there are trying times but to be honest I didn't/haven't found it the worst thing in the world to deal with...truth be known I think it's better as from Day 1 it's your way and your rules...from the day I brought my daughter home from hospital I implemented a routine and had no 'helpful' intervention;)

Pixiechic

Hello,

Well he wasn't the guy you thought that he was so best rid of him. You sound 100 times better than him and will one day find the right one, he's out there somewhere.

You now have the time to concentrate on your beautiful baby and taking good care of yourself. You do sound like a lovely, strong, intelligent girl and I am sure that you will be everything your baby needs and more.

He's a fool and he might change his mind but he might not. You have got bigger and better things to think about now.

Take care and all the very best x