Just found out I'm pregnant - am scared

Plans_all_plans

Thanks for letting us know how you're getting on. The tiredness will pass and like you say, it's likely to be down to both emotional exhaustion and the pregnancy. For the first 3 months of my pregnancy, I was extremely tired and falling asleep at 7.30 every night and I also had terrible morning sickness, hopefully you will escape relatively unscathed from it all though! Good luck with your friends and family this eve and I hope your news is well received.

tiamai_d

Well done you!

You can do it on your own, its sad that so many women have too, but it happens.

It's also common for the dad to come crawling back when the baby is a bit more substantial, either later on in the pregnancy or after the birth. A lot of the time, men don't see a pregnancy as being a baby, they don't really change their view until the baby is here and is a separate person. They see a hige life changing event and all the negatives but not the wonderful things that go along with it. Not saying that it's right or wrong or that it will happen, just that it does happen. I know people who have been left alone to deal with a pregnancy and suddenly dad wants to play happy families after the baby is born. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

The tiredness is normal, could be down to either pregnancy or the emotional stress. All you can do is sleep, sleep, sleep. With some eating in there too, even if you don't feel hungry, try and have some high carb foods (wholemeal toast that kind of thing) to keep your sugar levels up. And drink plenty of water (or squash, I could never stomach water in pregnancy).

Best of luck, and the girls on the pregnancy thread are lovely. Many of them are going through the exact same thing.

Loopy_Girl

Ooooh am so excited for you choccie:D

Agree with others re tiredness...will be early stages of pregnancy coupled with the stresses you are going through just now.

And don't worry about contraception - no one is going to come out to your face and ask why your birth control method failed are they?!!!

You will be surprised at people's reactions...everyone is happy to hear when a new addition is on the way:D

This is a brand new chapter in your life happening and yes, it's not how you expected it was going to be but hey - !!!!!! happens right?;)
I remember when I was still in shock (had decided to keep the baby but I'm certain my face looked 'surprised' for weeks!! In fact, the microwave meal that I had been heating up when I went through to check my test stick wasn't found till 2 weeks later!!:rotfl::rotfl:) but I just thought how lucky as I was as there are thousands of people out there that would give anything to have a baby - under any circumstances.

Keep us posted and I repeat my offer if you ever need a blether...you are literally walking in my shoes of 9 years ago so any random thoughts/rants you have wouldn't seem strange to me:D

Lucky baby having a Mummy that can make cupcakes...yum

Good luck tomorrow and don't be apologetic when you are telling people...it's not bad news and you are proud (truth be known most people's shocked reactions will prob be directed at your ex)

Hope you have a good sleep

LG x

Jen151

just wanted to say the best of luck choccie! you sound like you'll be a great mum, well done for being strong for your little one

i'd love to be pregnant just now, and will hopefully be following in your shoes in the near future!

Loopy_Girl

Just to say that I am thinking of you choccie and that emotionally and physically you are feeling a bit better/okay.

Hope your family tea at the weekend went ok

x

Stephb1986_2

Choccie I don't really have any advice for you love he sounds like a real loser and you don't need him in your life it sounds like you will do great on your own.

Chin up love

Massive hugs

Steph xx

chocciefan

Thank you Loopy Girl for your kind, sensitive words, they are lovely and gave me a warm feeling. It's lovely to know that strangers care (if you know what I mean.)

I was going to post this evening about the latest developments.

My ex boyfriend has just left my flat and is now claiming that he regrets what he said and done and that 'we should do the right thing' and see this through.

He says he panicked and that he regrets behaving so cruel and hurting me. He says that he will support me and that we need to do the right thing.

I have wept about this alone and willed him to say that he wants the baby and me and that we can work it out, but I just felt nothing listening to him.

I honestly feel that his U turn is because he has realised our families and friends are going to be totally disgusted by him walking away from me. He admitted to me tonight that he doesn't want the baby by choice but he will do the right thing.

I feel that he doesn't really love ME and is just scared about how he will be perceived by our loved ones and worried about how messy it could get - access/financial matters etc if we are apart.

I do not know if I want him to be part of our lives. I feel he is doing it for all the wrong reasons - I honestly looked into his eyes and didn't know whether he was telling the truth. He said some awful things over the last couple of days and has now seem to have forgotten all about his disgusting behaviour.

I need to be setted and happy with the baby and I would rather be calm with just the two of us than stuck in a loveless r/ship with a man that doesn't really want me or his child deep down and was hoping for a good outcome in the end.

I am so confused - I am scared about being a single mummy, but feel there is too much water under the bridge to go back and the man I love so much has betrayed me too much. However, wil I regret this in the long term and if I change my mind he may have moved on and may no longer want to reunite, then I will have lost him forever.

Thank you for reading

Choccie

Plans_all_plans

Thanks for updating us. I have been thinking about you. I honestly feel that you need to spend some time apart for a while. You are bound to be fraught and emotional, so I would urge you not to make any decisions about your r/ship in haste. If once you have spent some time apart and discussed the r/ship with your friends/family and are happy to break up then fair enough, but I do feel you need to step back from him for a while and spend time with your friends to find out exactly what you want to do about him. Good luck.

honeydukes

Hey there choccie...
I was about to leave you a message about being a single parent when I saw your update...

I'll start by saying that I understand the emotional upheavals you're going through- I had a similar "getting knocked up" story (if you'll excuse the expression ) but whilst I knew we would never live happily ever after I did have some expectations as to emotional support. Like you I knew in my heart that a termination wasn't really an option, but the thought of having a baby utterly terrified me, and when my OH told me I was unfair to ask anything of him and he wanted nothing to do with either of us I honestly thought I'd implode with the stress!

It really was the most horrible few months I can remember. Nowadays I get everso jealous hearing women talk about positive pregnancies.

However EVERYTHING changed when my son was born. My outlook on life shifted and even though times have been tough, I have optimism and (aside from a couple of episodes during the darkest hours which I'm not proud of) I have a peaceful heart.

The important thing, IMO, and my point is to have the strength to do what feels right in YOUR heart. And it sounds like you do- the very best of luck to you!

As for the father... you have no need to rush into anything, if he truly wants to be in a relationship with you he needs to understand your position. If he refuses and demands you conform then, well, I know I don't respond well to demands...

However, another issue is your childs relationship with its father... I know I would've rather stuck pins in his eyes than do anything for his sake... but my son now... that's another matter. He needs to know his dad, wether I like it or not.

On a positive note- the 1st trimenster is exhausting but I found the 2nd to be uber empowering! I managed to find a house, decorate it and get all set up baby wise whilst working double shifts to save as much as I could- whilst I could! I was super woman!

And then I crashed a month 7

All the best x

mountainofdebt

Have been reading your posts and feel so much for you hun.

tbh if you are unsure about your ex's (?) u turn then let him do all the running.........let him PROVE that he wants you and the baby truely and its not just a face saving exercise.

You are prepared to go through this alone so if he does cut the mustard as they say, you will be no worse off than you are now.