Holiday or not?

Brighton_belle

Yup, it makes total sense. A case of 'bucks on the counter buddy'. You need evidence of a seizemic shift by the sound of it.

You're a bit emotionally burnt out and affection alone, whilst lovely just isn't what you need at the moment: doesn't quench the thirst.

GEEGEE8

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Yup, it makes total sense. A case of 'bucks on the counter buddy'. You need evidence of a seizemic shift by the sound of it.

You're a bit emotionally burnt out and affection alone, whilst lovely just isn't what you need at the moment: doesn't quench the thirst.

God, you're so right!

How do you know these things about me? lol.

I guess we just need to carry on and hope that he doesn't say/do anything to annoy me further (in this area) and then hopefully this will eventually fade into the background..

I say 'in this area', as of course, he is a man and will generally annoy me at all times lol.

Brighton_belle

Lol, well really it's about really listening to how it is for you.
But also, there are a number of similarlites between my OH, and yours when we first met/early years, so I (think I) understand quite a bit of what you have been trying to explain, from both your points of view.

GEEGEE8

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Lol, well really it's about really listening to how it is for you.
But also, there are a number of similarlites between my OH, and yours when we first met/early years, so I understand quite a bit of what you have been trying to explain, from both your points of view.

Have you two managed to get along with it, despite the problems?

I do think that once all this is out in the open and he can learn to be open and more trusting, then things would be great between us.

I just worry that I'm wasting my time.:o

Brighton_belle

I could just say I've the patience of a saint ...
8 yrs on we are very happy. Still learning and growing. Both of us.

I think he was always able to offer more than enought to compensate, but my starting point was different to yours - I was older and had lost quite of lot of my younger life to illness , so a kind companion who loved being with me was an a totally unexpected bonus in life. The other stuff was a learning curve, but even if it took longer than I would have chosen, he always took things on board and slowly changed. I can't imagine my life without him now, he enriches it immeasurably and I know i do the same for him.

I also had to learn to do a bit of tough talking a few times - hated it but you know what, just this morning as we walked into town in the sunshine, holding hands and laughing, I thought, well, we more than survived it didn't we.
And the thing is, every time I have done that or initiated change which he does find so difficult, he ends up happier and life is better for both of us...(I know that because he tells me so, occasionally through my use of thumb screws:D)

I have to life at a slowerpace because of intermitant health isssues and that suits us both so well. With you being younger and full of go, I can see it would be harder and riskier to wait and wait and wait.

We are not you and you are not us, so who knows how your story will unfold. Relationships pre committment/children, are the time to work these things out and see if this one is a long term prospect. And you are taking that seriously and not just drifting randomly.

I suspect the next few months and as you start Uni you may find your answers.

GEEGEE8

I hope uni has a positive impact on us, although I just don't know what impact it'll have, everything will change for me..

He has rang me twice today for a quick chat, and keeps telling me what he's doing lol - I think he's going a little over the top, but I guess he doesn't quite know what to do or how to act just yet..

I know he feels so bad, and I keep saying it's okay but he says it's not okay he's been awful and will make sure he doesn't treat me like it again.

I want to believe him and move on, but secretly I feel a bit let down and disappointed with him and I guess I'll have to build that back up in time.

We have so much in common and have such a good time together mostly, I think he's just wanted it all his own way and has now realised that compromise isn't such a bad thing, and it's not so bad when you love someone.