Holiday or not?

GEEGEE8

January20 wrote: »

Life is short yes but it can also be incredibly long and painful when you have been made redundant a few weeks ago, you are about to go to university and you had £1600 of savings, but spent £1000 on a short 1 week holiday and then you find you have no money to pay for the bills, or to feed yourself or buy books that you need. (Especially when the same holiday could cost 1/2 that price at another time of the year).

Yep - that just about sums it all up really..

sueeve

You are going to be a full time student, wth a new life ahed of you, hundreds of new people to meet. If he was clearly the one you could not live without fine, but he isn't. So If I were you (which I am not) I would put this relationship to one side and your life at uni at the centre. It will be a lot more fun, and a lot more rewarding, than sticking with him. At the moment you are proposing to go to uni tied to someone who doesn't give you the space to use all the possibilities which will be open to you.

GEEGEE8

sueeve wrote: »

You are going to be a full time student, wth a new life ahed of you, hundreds of new people to meet. If he was clearly the one you could not live without fine, but he isn't. So If I were you (which I am not) I would put this relationship to one side and your life at uni at the centre. It will be a lot more fun, and a lot more rewarding, than sticking with him. At the moment you are proposing to go to uni tied to someone who doesn't give you the space to use all the possibilities which will be open to you.

I think that is the best way forward really.. I do want to be with him, maybe it's just a bad patch for both of us and we are rubbing eachother up the wrong way.

I'll possibly speak to him about it at the weekend and see if there is an underlying issue.

I really wish I had gone to uni when I was 18 and carefree.. I'm 27 now but I still want to have fun and enjoy myself, not by drinking though really, but just clubs and sports etc..

I'm doing Quantity Surveying, so I'm hoping that the people on my course may be more mature students than other courses.

He even rang me up from work the other day to tell me that they were saying on the radio that going to uni was a waste of time.. lol. Had to bite my lip and tell him that it's my only option and the course I'm doing has a good level of employment afterwards as it's working towards a particular job. Eg: English degree isn't a particular job, nursing degree is. I would class my degree as similar to a nursing degree in so far as it's a job at the end of it.

Craftyscholar

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

He can be supportive, in fact he was really supportive when I was at college last year 1 day a week and working 5 days a week. But this whole uni thing has turned him into a very unsupportive person if I'm honest.

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

I'll possibly speak to him about it at the weekend and see if there is an underlying issue.

He even rang me up from work the other day to tell me that they were saying on the radio that going to uni was a waste of time.. lol.

I think you have already identified the underlying issue.

GEEGEE8

Yep - I think you are correct. Although I certainly don't want this to spoil our relationship as I know once he see's it as a positive thing then hopefully he will chill out a bit..! Well, I can only hope.

I have spoken to him on the phone, I said that I was worried about money and the holiday. I looked online a prices for different weeks and he has agreed that going in that week would be silly as it'll cost twice as much. I'm very relieved now, I guess he just goes on the negative straight away and it does upset me and I think he's very wrong to do that. An afternoon of ignoring him has given him time to think it seems..

Either that or I've been soft yet again..

myothercarisaferrari

OMG Geegee you are like my fourm twin! I left home at 17 and have been independant ever since - well with the exception of my gimpy ex last year who I was with for 4 years. I'm 27 and was going to uni as well, but have had to knock that on the head until January instead till I can earn some dosh. Creepy!!

But I have to agree with majority...maybe put him on the back burner and concentrate on uni and make some new friends and enjoy yourself x

GEEGEE8

Hey Ferrari, was just going to check in on your thread

I think he'll have to come 2nd place for a bit once I start and then maybe he'll try harder to be more agreeable and fit it around my life, like I have done with his for the past 18months.

x

myothercarisaferrari

well that sounds like a plan. Your priorities are going to change over the next few months anyway, so he needs to sort his attitude out x

GEEGEE8

Attitude is def the right word, he has lots of it. To be fair he has kinda improved over the last 6 months or so, but he still seems to struggle with change, and this is a huge change for me and him.

If he's happy to compromise over the holiday then I'm much happier. I just worry how many times this selfish attitude is going to have an impact on me, and to be honest, with lots of stuff going on soon with uni, I don't want such a negative distraction.

puffinmuffin

I expect the relationship may start to move to the side a bit when you start uni anyway, especially if you want to grab all the opportunities that will come your way. He is going to have to fit in around your new life.