What happened to getting married before having children?

daviecol

My family is much better off with my OH out of work (he was made redundant last year and jobs are like rocking horse poo here)[/QUOTE]


How? I am married with 2 kids, wife is a part time cleaner(15 hours) minimum wage. I lost my job (redundancy) and got £200 every 4 weeks child tax credits and £55 per week job seekers allowance.

Or in other words about £105 a week. Did your husband earn less than that or are you claiming other things?

Fang_3

do_it_today! wrote: »

I didnt know that? but then when was the last time I picked up a bible...;)

I don't know. Perhaps you could ask your carer?

Imp

pigpen wrote: »

(and whatever 'war' they have launched us into in the meantime)

Sound like someone really needs to look at the recent record of the political parties when it comes to war mongering. Off the top of my head

Thatcher and Major - Iraq 1, Falklands
Blair and Brown - Kosovo, Bosnia, Sierra Leone, Iraq 2, Afghanistan

PolishBigSpender

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Now, that sounds odd to me. Surely you choose a life partner who shares your values and wants the same things as you do from life?

Exactly, if My partner explicitly told me he didn't want to marry me, it would be simply a reason to break up with him. I can't imagine a life of co-habiting and I do not want it, therefore this would be the end.

At some point we just decided we are serious and we want to get married - and this will happen soon enough. Than, hopefully, the babies will come. All in good time

LJM

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

[/B]


This is so true.

I was with two of my married friends the other night(I am not married) we have all been in our relationships for over 20 years. One told us she and her husband have been talking about getting divorced and the other one said she and her husband never sit down and talk to each other and when the children leave home she doesn't know what will happen. In all our 20 years and two children together we have never felt like that.So please don't tell me that I am not as committed to my relationship because I am not married.

i feel exactly the same

danielle1977

Had to skip most of the thread but I want to say why we aren't married, we have been together 9 years ds1 is 6, ds2 is 4. My OH dad and wife go to church etc and think themselves as good christians etc. They are both lovely. OH dad has been married times and has 1 full brother and 1 is half brother, he doesn't see either brother as his family is so messed up. When we first met I thought his dad was dead, they saw each other again after about 10 years when ds1 was about 6 months, just in time for the fourth wedding.

My Oh does not see the point in getting married, maybe if our 'elders' set better role models us 'younger' people would get married...

livalot

woody01 wrote: »

I (the bloke) have been with my partner for 13 years and we have 2 children.
I admit, maybe we should've gotten married but after speaking about it (ALOT), we are going to wait until they are older.

We are incredibly happy, and to be honest, we have been together ALOT longer than many people are married..

Great to hear this. But to be honest you are the exception that proves the rule. Just today the Telegraph Newspaper reported that

Married couples are less likely to split up than those who live together, according to the Office for National Statistics. Click here for the link


By the way I really hope that you and your partner of 13 years have made a will. If anything happened to either you or your partner, your relationship would probably not be recognised by law.....hopefully someone can back me up on this.

seven-day-weekend

Unless you have made a will, an unmarried partner will not inherit anything if you die, nor will an unmarried father be classed as next of kin in respect of children. So he will not be able to make any decisions in respect of his deceased partner's children, even if they are also his. This will be down to the official next of kin, who may be the deceased mother's parents or siblings.

danielle1977

livalot wrote: »

Great to hear this. But to be honest you are the exception that proves the rule. Just today the Telegraph Newspaper reported that

Married couples are less likely to split up than those who live together, according to the Office for National Statistics. Click here for the link

Have no doubt that this is true-my my fil has been maaried 4 times and divorced 3, leaving behind 3 kids, none of whom he had contact with until he got in touch with my oh when we had a baby. Marriage doesn't mean that they will stay together-divorce is too easy.

woody01

Spender wrote: »

If you have talked about it a lot it seems to me that it has certainly been an issue in your relationship. If you had both wanted to get married then you would just have went ahead and done it so from your post I guess one of you wants to and one of you doesnt want to. Am I correct?:)

Its no issue at all, and neither of us are more or less inclined to marry than the other.
Quite presumptuious of you to be honest.

We actuall want everything in place before we do it, rather than fight for it afterwards.
Mortgage finished - 5 bed house. Only 4.5 years left to pay.
Daughters to top schools - Eldest has been accepted
To have a substantial amount of savings so we can both retire on or before we are 50.

Once we have done these things, which we nearly have complete, we are going to get married.

And yes, i have a will that is water tight, as does the ole lady :P

Like i told you before, our lives are actually better than most people that got married and then struggled for years.
This cannot be denied.