how to stop loving someone and let them go

mineallmine

Enjoy that glass a wine Wendy and toast yourself a new life, where someone loves you with all their heart. Bless your 18 year old son - not embarrassed to be seen out with Mum, love him already!

denton6

just had a sneak peep at his facebook page, big mistake by me in tears again. now he has added photos of them both at her graduation. only last november he added photos of our son at his graduation with us all on it

Valli

Hugs wendy

last thing you need is to be looking at his facebook - it isn't going to help. But with each day that passes you are getting stronger bit-by-bit.

(((hugs)))

rainbow_791

I have been reading all your posts and when you said about looking at his facebook page it made me think how horrible facebook can be sometimes! I used to do exactly the same when had a bad break up, i used to have to check just to see what he was doing, it sent me mad!

But i hope you are ok and i can tell others completely understand you x

mineallmine

denton6 wrote: »

just had a sneak peep at his facebook page, big mistake by me in tears again. now he has added photos of them both at her graduation. only last november he added photos of our son at his graduation with us all on it

Oh Wendy it can be so hard to resist doing this. I still cannot help but wonder what her parents or friends think. Mine would have keeled over if I brought someone home so much older at that time.
Do you have a facebook page? I'm sure we could rustle up a couple of people to be your friends - preferably male and good looking :rotfl:Remember two can play at this game.
Or of course you can hold your head high and think the idiot.
Big hugs being sent your way. Hope you had a nice drink out with your son. :A

meritaten

I may be coming to this from a different perspective - but, here goes. I had an affair with another man whose wife had left him and got engaged. I left my husband for this man and he had a bad accident and lo and behold his wife turns up while he was in intensive care. his family were brill with me - so was his EX-wife - as he hovered between life and death for a couple of weeks. with me and his family there constantly (and his ex partner only dropping in in the early hours when she was sure we werent there!) on coming round he decides his last partner was the love of his life and basically told me to !!!!sssssssss off!
I had to learn not to love this guy! to think about the sort of person he is and whether I really wanted to love someone like this! before that I THOUGHT he was my soul mate - I was devastated!
I was given good advice by a friend - would I treat him that way? why not?
its hard - really hard when you love someone and they reject you.
but, love has to work both ways - otherwise it isnt real love.
I am glad that accident happened to him - otherwise I wouldnt have found out that in his heart he really loved someone else! I hope he is happy with her but doubt it! she actually arranged an accident claim solicitor to visit him in intensive care as soon as he could talk!!
she smelt compensation!!!

my life is better without him I believe - I DONT want someone who loves someone else!

denton6

just got back in have been out with people from work. have had a fun night and a laugh at the same time, dont need the drink cos was only on soft drinks cos i took the car and also in work at 8 in the morning. my mam and dad have got the two little ones for the night. came back to a quiet house feels strange but kind of relaxing. we played bingo in the club and we won all money is shared between us so a very very chea

Schwade

denton6 wrote: »

just had a sneak peep at his facebook page, big mistake by me in tears again. now he has added photos of them both at her graduation. only last november he added photos of our son at his graduation with us all on it

Just think about this. He doesn't care at all what you are doing so why should you care what he is doing?? He has moved on. You aren't in his heart anymore.

Stop living your life through him and live for yourself!

denton6

Schwade wrote: »

Just think about this. He doesn't care at all what you are doing so why should you care what he is doing?? He has moved on. You aren't in his heart anymore.

Stop living your life through him and live for yourself!

hi i do agree with what you have said, just wish it was that easy to forget him, he was a very big part of my life and however much he has killed me and i know he doesnt want me i cant just forget, i really wish i could life, would have been so much easier.

Schwade

denton6 wrote: »

hi i do agree with what you have said, just wish it was that easy to forget hime, he was a very big part of my life and however much he has killed me and i know he doesnt want me i cant just forget, i really wish i could life would have been so much easier.

I know it's hard.

As you say, he has been a big part of your life and there is now a void. You need to fill this void with something else and that's why I think you need to go out more and use that void for something else.

You may also think how can he done this to you - he used to love me etc etc. Well don't think like this as he obviously doesn't love you now. Look at how quickly he has moved on. You are just a distant memory to him.

You may also think whether it was your fault. It isn't. You can't do anything about this. It takes two to tango and he obviously didn't like to tango with you now.

You may also think whether you will find someone. Don't worry about this. Right now, you need to make yourself happy.

Even your kids know you are suffering. You owe it to them to stand up and move forward.

So, right now, no matter how hard it is, you need to go and get yourself into more things to do. Give yourself a target. I.e. Join a club. Do some volunteer work.

Your target is to make yourself occupied with your friends, make new friends and interact with new people. There are literrally hundreds of free stuff to do in the UK if you do a search.

edit - As someone said, as time passes, you will recover bit by bit. But it's like walking up a mountain, you need to keep walking, step by step and look foward and not backward.