how to stop loving someone and let them go

denton6

Hi husband cheated on me and i took him back. things are no longer good and i no i have to let him go as he doesnt want to be with me no more. the thing is through all he has put me through i still love him deeply and dont no how to let go. i have been to councilling and no we dont have a future together but i cant just fall out of love with him. we have been together nearly 25 years married 16 and have four children together. please help feel like i am going mad and just cant stop crying. thanks

Littlemadam83

Wendy, HUGE HUGE hugs first of all xxxxxx

Being heart broken is one of the most painful things a person can suffer from, but in time you will be ok, please just remember this, every second you spend crying getting over him the closer you are to recovery.

Are you still together in a house? Can you stay and be with friends for now? Be with people as much as you can, bore them stupid with your heart ache and just let yourself naturally heal itself and grieve.

I really know this is easier said than done, and I have been just the same as you but not with a partner for so long. Did you go to counselling after you split up? Or to try and save the marriage? Counselling after I split with my love really helped me, so maybe go back to this person?

Please PM if you want to chat xxx

denton6

found out about the cheating feb last year we thought we could make a go and try again. jan this year he moved back out and now stays with a friend. think he may be seeing her again i couldnt find him last week he was ignoring my messages etc he was with her. i said you are still married to which he replied the marriage is over. he has moved on and i no i need to do the same if only for my own peace of mind and for the boys. lost it last week when i found out he was with her. took the kids out of school early and drove off. my sister called the police becauce she was worried. they were fine with me and im not in trouble because i wasnt going to hurt the boys just wanted there dad to no what it feels like for him to not no where we were.

Littlemadam83

I know this is the hardest thing in the world, but at the moment you need to cut all contact with him. Would your kids understand if they didnt see him just for a bit? Are they old enough to understand what is going on?

When I had to talk to my ex every day for work it nearly killed me hearing how he had moved on and I was in a living hell.

Have PM'd you back hun, if you can, think do you want to be cheated on and treated like that? I PROMISE you there is someone better out there who will love you and not hurt you like this xxx

clearingout

(((big hugs))))

clearingout

sorry -my little one pressed the wrong button! you will get through this, no matter how impossible it seems now. Try www.wikivorce.com for support - lots of people there going through the same thing and the chat facility is second to none for instant support. It saved me last year and I recommend it to everyone!!!!

denton6

went to see solicitor, going to go for divorce gonna be so hard but he has already moved on with his life. took our youngest today to his tennis lesson at main park in the area. sat and cried on the bench. all came back into my head we had both cried on the same bench 22 years ago when we found out we were going to have our first son. cried with happiness and also worry. now i just have the memorys and it really really hurts.

squidge60

Sorry i have no advice :(But i can relate to the pain in an argument i told oh to move out so he did The pain i must admit i have never felt anything like it :(We are back together (very long rel like you). When we were apart and i thought that it was the end i tried to use the time for making myself look/feel better (makeup,gym etc) other than that coming on here i found very helpful .Hopefully time will help you heal x

BLT_2

denton6 wrote: »

found out about the cheating feb last year we thought we could make a go and try again. jan this year he moved back out and now stays with a friend. think he may be seeing her again i couldnt find him last week he was ignoring my messages etc he was with her. i said you are still married to which he replied the marriage is over. he has moved on and i no i need to do the same if only for my own peace of mind and for the boys. lost it last week when i found out he was with her. took the kids out of school early and drove off. my sister called the police becauce she was worried. they were fine with me and im not in trouble because i wasnt going to hurt the boys just wanted there dad to no what it feels like for him to not no where we were.

Bad move, the kids will be having enough problems of their own without their mother using them as a weapon. I would suggest you sit down and take a good hard look at your life and yourself. Partners come and go, children are forever.

denton6

BLT wrote: »

Bad move, the kids will be having enough problems of their own without their mother using them as a weapon. I would suggest you sit down and take a good hard look at your life and yourself. Partners come and go, children are forever.

i wasnt trying to use them as a weapon, just so hurt head was all over the place. i realise this was a big mistake and my boys will always come first, but at the moment even day to day is very hard. thanks i do realise i did wrong x

toontron

PM'd you sweetheart, there wasnt much room to right so excuse the garbage i sent, but hopefully you can get the gist of it.x