how to stop loving someone and let them go

beachbaby_2

By the way, your mother sounds like one strong lady. X

ecgirl07

beachbaby wrote: »

By the way, your mother sounds like one strong lady. X

(if you are talking to me)

Ill bet the bank that when he left she didnt feel it..... I guess she is the reason im posting on this thread because ive watched her go from being in Denton's place to be a happy successful granny/mother/worker/independent provider for herself in the 20 odd years since the split so i know it can be done :j

Caroline_a

I've been on my own for 4 years now (well ok, 9 months if you could my 93 year old father who I cared for before then), and in all honesty the things I missed were someone to pick up the stuff that were too heavy for me, and someone to do the things that were too high for me (I'm not good on ladders)

So how do I deal with those 2? Well certainly not by going off looking for a new man.... but by (if feasible) doing the heavy things in lots of smaller parts, and by asking people to help if things are too high (usually lightbulbs). But I manage very well all in all... and yes, mine moaned and put stuff off (or did them incompetently) too!

denton6

havent been on the site for a few days, very emotional day on tue but some on here know the reasons for this. did a halloween party for boys on wednesday, very noisy and i was stressed but the boys had a great time. it was lovely when everyone had gone to sit down with my boys and think YES i have just done that. went to blackpool yesterday to see the lights with my friend and sister plus 5 kids between us. that was stress, we ended up getting there late rushing around, told to be back on bus for half 4, when we got back to bus told change of plan now leaving at 6. kids were wreaked, we were tired but again an achievment we got through the day. boys are now with there dad , i was at work this morning and now gonna have to rush cos signing divorce papers at 2. hugs to all who need one. x

beachbaby_2

Hi, Wendy.Good that you are still posting. You sound quite positive despite the stress. That's good. Glad you had a great party and an exciting time in Blackpool. Can I please take this opportunity to thank you and all the other posters on this thread. All the comments, suggestions and advice have been amazing and have helped, sorry, ARE helping me also through a really tough time. You are all wonderful!! I cannot stress enough how much it helps to know other people can understand the pain. The loneliness is what gets me the most, and yet somehow on here you are never alone.

mineallmine

HI denton, hope the signing went ok. At least now it's the weekend. Why not have some more halloween fun with the kids? Take care.

denton6

hi it's our sons 19th birthday today, he is home from uni and no cards at all from his dad or there side of the family. prob his dad way of having a dig back at him for not buying him a birthday card. have reieved letter from my solicitor saying papers are going to be filed with courts. had lots of arguing by text last night, all atarted with his contact times and days for two younger boys. he said when he wanted them when i disagreed he wasnt happy. got everything thrown back at me, how was it all my fault that he left me and boys.havent felt to well today, havent really been eating much and last night for tea i had some beans on toast, have lots of stomach cramp today which isnt going. 7 year old had a sick bug at weekend so not sure if im coming down with that. weather very yuck here today my poor mam and boys got soaked going to school as i was at work this morning. please fast forward me afew years away from all tis mess and heartache. even though divorce has been filled im not sure it's what i really want, but there again there is no going back. no doubt he will text me when he gets the letter from his solicitor, to either gloat or have ago at me.

RacyRed

Awww Hun, keep your chin up.

I hope you've not got a stomach bug, but let the cramps be a warning to you to look after yourself properly. Don't let yourself get away with eating habits you wouldn't accept from your boys.

Happy birthday to your young man :bdaycake:

mineallmine

Good to hear from you denton.

Sorry to hear you are being used as a punchbag. Well he is showing his true colours under pressure. And no matter how annoyed he was with his son, no card is just nasty.
Are you able to get another mobile? Like a cheap Pay As you Go? It may be useful to have a new number as your main number and then you can at least maybe create some space.

If you do one thing when he sends an angry text - is to wait - wait at least 5 minutes before you respond. Otherwise he is bullying you. If you create space it shows more control of the situation. Plus I'd advise pulling funny faces at the phone - yes it probably looks mad - but try and break up the seriousness of it all.

Take care.

thorsoak

denton6 wrote: »

hi it's our sons 19th birthday today, he is home from uni and no cards at all from his dad or there side of the family. prob his dad way of having a dig back at him for not buying him a birthday card. have reieved letter from my solicitor saying papers are going to be filed with courts. had lots of arguing by text last night, all atarted with his contact times and days for two younger boys. he said when he wanted them when i disagreed he wasnt happy. got everything thrown back at me, how was it all my fault that he left me and boys.havent felt to well today, havent really been eating much and last night for tea i had some beans on toast, have lots of stomach cramp today which isnt going. 7 year old had a sick bug at weekend so not sure if im coming down with that. weather very yuck here today my poor mam and boys got soaked going to school as i was at work this morning. please fast forward me afew years away from all tis mess and heartache. even though divorce has been filled im not sure it's what i really want, but there again there is no going back. no doubt he will text me when he gets the letter from his solicitor, to either gloat or have ago at me.

What twaddle! It was your fault that he found another lady friend? Did you throw him at her? He just doesn't like the fact that you are turning into a strong person ...he can't walk over you any more!

I like the idea of you getting another PAYG mobile ....let him rant on and not know that you're not getting the messages!