how to stop loving someone and let them go

denton6

hi car is in his name, it a p reg vw sharan , we dont need this size car now but i cant afford to buy one. i am only named as a driver on the insurance and have never had insurance on my own. i need the car more because he lives within waliking distance to work, i have to drive to work or get the bus and also school isnt really within walking distnace either. it was more his choice to move here it is a slightly posher area LOL and most of his work friends live around this area. we did used to live within walking distance of school, town etc and my work was just over the road. but by the looks of things house will need to be sold now anyway, i cant or rather wont be able to take on the mortgage in my name only. if i could afford a car i would, this one is now old, two big really and so costing aswell. if we went for buses though it would cost me £30 per week to get three mega rider tickets for unlimited travel. then cubs, beavers and other places we go to would be hard to.

denton6

thorsoak wrote: »

Wendy, your mention in your last post about Halloween - and another poster's thread about Christmas started me thinking. What are YOUR plans for Christmas? Have you started m making plans now.
older two boys have said they want to come here for christmas this yea i have said to ex that he is welcome to come and see boys open there presents but that i want all my boys to stay here with me this year. i may sound harsh but it's what i want. i will prob be working boxing day so if he wants he is very welcome to have the boys at his that day , he thanked me for the offer and said he hasnt anything planned. this is a little strange cos job he does he has only once had christmas day off and this year he is off again.

Michelin

denton6 wrote: »

hi car is in his name, it a p reg vw sharan , we dont need this size car now but i cant afford to buy one. i am only named as a driver on the insurance and have never had insurance on my own. i need the car more because he lives within waliking distance to work, i have to drive to work or get the bus and also school isnt really within walking distnace either. it was more his choice to move here it is a slightly posher area LOL and most of his work friends live around this area. we did used to live within walking distance of school, town etc and my work was just over the road. but by the looks of things house will need to be sold now anyway, i cant or rather wont be able to take on the mortgage in my name only. if i could afford a car i would, this one is now old, two big really and so costing aswell. if we went for buses though it would cost me £30 per week to get three mega rider tickets for unlimited travel. then cubs, beavers and other places we go to would be hard to.

OK so you need to take over the car yourself and not have joint things anymore - it just adds to the pressure. It definitely looks like you need a car from what you have said Wendy so get the car you need that fits within your budget but dis-associate yourself from him.

xxx

thorsoak

denton6 wrote: »

older two boys have said they want to come here for christmas this yea i have said to ex that he is welcome to come and see boys open there presents but that i want all my boys to stay here with me this year. i may sound harsh but it's what i want. i will prob be working boxing day so if he wants he is very welcome to have the boys at his that day , he thanked me for the offer and said he hasnt anything planned. this is a little strange cos job he does he has only once had christmas day off and this year he is off again.

I'm glad that you have already sorted Christmas Day out. Maybe on Boxing Day you could arrange for the boys to see your Mum & Dad? Take ex out of the equation - don't plan around him - let him plan around you.

As for the car - try and get copies of the insurance documentation, showing that you are the named driver - going back as many years as possible - because that will help you get insurance discounts when it comes to insuring a car in your name.

You are going to have an exciting year next year by the sound of things - you're doing your maths and english classes, you'll be looking at houses near the boys' schools and your work and looking at a smaller car!

Go Wendy!

dundeedoll_2

denton6 wrote: »

thorsoak wrote: »

Wendy, your mention in your last post about Halloween - and another poster's thread about Christmas started me thinking. What are YOUR plans for Christmas? Have you started m making plans now.

older two boys have said they want to come here for christmas this year.
I have said to ex that he is welcome to come and see boys open there presents but that I want all my boys to stay here with me this year. I may sound harsh but it's what I want.
I will prob be working boxing day so if he wants he is very welcome to have the boys at his that day. He thanked me for the offer and said he hasnt anything planned. This is a little strange cos job he does he has only once had christmas day off and this year he is off again.

:T:T:T Good girl...............doesn't that sound much better than:

I don't know what he wants to do about seeing the boys at Christmas yet, I did ask him but he hasn't decided yet.

You are going to get there Wendy............you will be a much stronger person ............small steps, Wendy, small steps.

I am soooo proud of you after reading your post above!

denton6

Michelin wrote: »

OK so you need to take over the car yourself and not have joint things anymore - it just adds to the pressure. It definitely looks like you need a car from what you have said Wendy so get the car you need that fits within your budget but dis-associate yourself from him.

xxx

i really wish i could , but i only work 16 hours per week and no chance of more hours. today he walked round to this house he is about 10 mins walk away, then i walked to worked which takes about 40 mins, it's not worth getting the bus this time in the morning cos then where bus drops me off i still have a walk. i dont mind the walk, but not looking forward to slidding to work in the winter on my bum. he prob would have dropped me off but two little ones were still in bed. today they are with there dad and he is gonna bring them home for 3 tomorrow afternoon.
dont think anyone would give me finance on a car but maybe something i need to look into. thanks

beachbaby_2

Hi, Wendy. Thought I would drop by and see how you are getting on today and see you have already posted. You definitely sound more positive even though the topic is still unfortunate (for want of a better word). I've been into town this morning to collect my new glasses and whilst I was on my own I picked up a few christmas pressies for the girls. I explained to them the other week that they wouldn't be getting as much this year (not that they have ever been spoiled), but, bless them, they said their favourite things are the small gifts they get from out of their stockings! That really made my day because it has always been me that buys lots of small but thoughtful items for the stockings. We had a really nice walk with my sister and her family last weekend and while we were walking my eldest (who isn't known for being sentimental) was talking about things we have done over christmasses gone by that she has really enjoyed doing - none of which had involved OH!! That made me feel better because I have recently been of the thought that he can offer them more fun things to do, which is obviously not the case, and it's the little, well thought out things that really matter. She was talking about making Christmas decorations for the tree and the garlands we made at a National Trust event, places we had visited. It was a real boost for me to hear it. It is nice to have christmas to look forward to and to plan for. There are some things I intend to keep the same this year but we definitely need some new traditions just for us.
Hope things work out for you re the car. I was very lucky with this as even though our car was in his name, he has his business van that he can use for transport and I got him to sign the car registration document over to me before things got a bit fraught. Unfortunately my insurance is quite high as I was always just down as a named driver so I had no noclaims bonus to use. Never mind. We are doing OK.
Things will get better. X

mineallmine

Hey denton, how you doing? What's your positive today?

samzixxx

believe me b4 you no it,you,ll start taking better care of yourself,loosing wieght.looking better than ever,its called 7 degree,s of seperation & when you reach the end your more fab than ever,so stop focusing on d.....head & start small 1 nice thing a day for yourself,leg shaving,eyebrows ect....& get a new hairstyle it works wonders ha ha

RacyRed

How are you today Wendy?