how to stop loving someone and let them go

ninky_2

wendy good for you for being so positive. i'm sure it will be a long and difficult day but you've started out with a brilliant attitude. :j

mineallmine

Have a good day and hope your hair looks lovely. :j

rachel6188

I hope you have a great day huni and that you enjoy being pampered getting your hair done. xox

minnie123

Hope today went well Wendy for you and your son xx

denton6

well today has been really hard, tried to hold it together but have cried my way through most of it. when we got to uni his dad gave him a card and present, inside the card it was saying how proud he was of him, how he knew the past year has been hard and wishing him great sucess, this set us all off crying. i feel guilty for upsetting my son i should have stayed strong, he know i am gonna struggle and that is just gonna make it hard for him.on way home i tried to take to ex, asked if she had a job at station yet and if anyone had a problem with her being there, they are all happy for her to be there even with her repution, he went in a real mood and then refused to speak on the way home for about 3 hrs of it. no i shouldnt have said anything but couldnt help it. he drove back to his and then i had to go and get little ones from my parents, he said he didnt want to see my mam and dad, like they have done something wrong. house feels lonely which is stupid because my son has been away for nights before, maybe just beacause i know he isnt coming back for a while yet. feel like my family has dissapered.there used to be 6 of us all happy i thought, now there is only me and two little ones. and one day they will leave me to.crap in my head just wish it would go away, sick of crying put two little ones to bed when i got back they saw me upset and cried to. that isnt fair i know .

denton6

got upest before we even set off, ex gave me a hug, hug felt calming but deep down the hug meant nothing to him, he hugged me out of pity.pity that i cant cope on my own.how sad am i , just one sad and lonely person right now.

ninky_2

denton6 wrote: »

got upest before we even set off, ex gave me a hug, hug felt calming but deep down the hug meant nothing to him, he hugged me out of pity.pity that i cant cope on my own.how sad am i , just one sad and lonely person right now.

oh wendy what a tough day that was. big hugs. i really don't know how people do this to people they loved. still, they do. it's hard not seeing him but it's worse when you do. you really have to focus on your well being at the moment. what little things can you do today to improve it?

space_rider

Wendy, my ex and I took our daughter to uni 3 years ago and I was very upset. I didn't get a hug and I really could have done with one. Our other daughter is going on Saturday and we'll be doing at least a 5 hour journey. I'm not looking forward to being upset again at all. At least your ex cared enough to hug you even if it meant nothing to him but at least he gave you that physical comfort. I am hoping that as I've done it before I won't be an emotional wreck!

missiemog

NOTE - this is simply my point of view. feel free to ignore it.

i know i'll get pelters for this, but i really think you should be getting over yourself right now.

your youngest children will see this constantly crying woman and be upset themselves, as you've already seen.

this is a constant cycle and you need to put an end to it.

he's gone. nothing to be done about that now. he has moved on - you do the same.

your children will inevitably grow up and move out, but isn't that the reason you had children - to raise them, watch them grow into decent adults and have their own lives?

yes, you deserve some sympathy. he's been a Class A piece of dirt and deserves nothing less than all his teeth falling out bar one and having toothache for the rest of his life.

you, however, need to be the strong woman you were born to be. do you really want your children to see you wet and weak all the time? yes, they need to see real emotion and understand that you are hurt, but they really need to see you strong and confident and learn from you how to cope with horrid situations and teaching them that, unfortunately, life isn't all a bed of roses and has a habit of pulling the rug right out from under us when least expected. it's up to you how you deal with it.

this all could be so much worse - wake up. he left you and his kids. he's a git. BUT he didn't beat you or the kids, he hasn't burned the house down, robbed you or killed anyone.

find the positive points from it all. there may not be many just now, but i can think of at least 3 or 4 .... your children. they love you and want you to be happy and be 'mum'.

i've been in a similar situation, and wallowing for a short time is it's own therapy, but being 'oh woe is me' for too long deserves a slap in the kisser and told to get a grip.

mineallmine

Hey -- how ya doing?