how to stop loving someone and let them go

denton6

hi am going out tonight, we were just gonna go to the local pub for a meal and drinks but now we are going into town sacry:eek: havent really done pubs in town, but hey tonight is the night i do. still have bit of a bad head but hopefully that will go soon when i have something else to focus on. well best go and get ready just hope i dont feel really old up the town lol . have also booked in for a facial and eyebrow wax tomorrow morning. then should either tidy up which might be a very good plan or go to the gym. when my friend called round this morning she kind of said oh yes you are in a bit of a mess lol but in a nice way she said it, hopefully the boys can be proud on how hard i have tried when they get back .

minnie123

Good plan wendy, have a great night tonight x

kizzykizzywizzy

Have a lovely evening :beer: & enjoy your facial - I found a bit of retail therapy helped too:p

denton6

just wish i could keep the negatives thoughts away, trying to keep busy house is like a bomb site but dont no where to start, i just keep going from one bit to another. this house does not feel like home, even more reason that i am stryggling with it all. just feel as though my life just keeps getting turned upside down, one thing after another, want to scream but no point cos that wont help either. i am not a person who copes well with been on my own. it is something i have never done, left my parents house with young baby and then have always had my boys around. i know i need to get used to it should even be enjoying the time but still not getting my head round the whole thing.

minnie123

Maybe you could do a little project on the house while the boys are away to make it feel more like a home - you should decorate your bedroom make it like a nice cosy boudoir. I have always wanted a pink kitchen but my OH won't allow it. if we ever split I would have my pink kitchen x

kizzykizzywizzy

I did get new bedding & curtains when ex left, but I wasn't really well enough to do any decorating as such, but just changing the colour of the curtains & accessories did make it more like "mine" & did me some good.
I think when something like this 1st happens, just getting through the day is hard enough, well it was for me

mineallmine

Hugs to you. Hope the facial and pampering went ok. It sounds like you've got some friends around you which is such a good thing. Like others have said you could probably do with a couple of projects. Perhaps a bit of a revamp of your wardrobe/clothes - charity shops can be a mine of stuff. Or some more pampering - maybe get a bottle of self tan (always makes me feel better that stuff). Maybe focus on your bedroom - that will now be your sanctuary. So make it how you want it to be.
Keep posting. I don't think you know it but gradually you seem to be getting stronger. Of course you will still have your down moments/days but generally I'd say you've packed your rucksack and you're climbing that mountain to your new life.

MrsE_2

denton6 wrote: »

Hi husband cheated on me and i took him back. things are no longer good and i no i have to let him go as he doesnt want to be with me no more. the thing is through all he has put me through i still love him deeply and dont no how to let go. i have been to councilling and no we dont have a future together but i cant just fall out of love with him. we have been together nearly 25 years married 16 and have four children together. please help feel like i am going mad and just cant stop crying. thanks

I read this post when you first posted it, but I didn't know what to say, so said nothing.

I was thinking about you & your post today while driving to get the shopping.

I've been married twice. The first time I was young. My first husband was a serial cheat (& still is over 20 years on).
When he first had an affair (well the first I knew of), my DD was just under one. I hadn't gone back to work at that stage & was devastated. I was financially dependent on him & had a baby under a year old. I was suicidal, I didn't know how I was going to cope for both of us.
I got my old (pre-baby) job back & started work. My husband & I got back together, but I kept the job;)
Next time it happened was about a year on. We patched it up (didn't really want to be with him, but not quite able to go it alone either).
Next time was about another year on (we had moved - my idea, nearer my family, my childcare, etc), this time I packed his stuff & dumped it outside for him:)

A couple of years later I met the love of my life, the man I was meant to share my life with:smileyhea

Trust me, there is life after a cheat;)

kizzykizzywizzy

Lovely post MrsE, just shows you should never settle, because you are scared of going alone, or the unknown.

denton6

why is it even the little things hurt so much, havent been doing to bad this week have tried to stay busy and have had good contact with the boys while they are away. because they have the car with them on holiday i needed shopping so walked to the somerfield shop that does home delivery. when the lady took my contact details she asked name which i told her , then she looked at my hand and wrote down miss then said oh have just presumed. wanted to say no actually it is mrs but thought why bother. all our boys have always had his surname cos we werent married when we had the older two. what do i do when we get divorced i dont really want to go back to my maiden name either. have cried walking home over the miss part. why is it these things just creep up and hurt you when you least expect it. here's me thinking i was doing ok ish. x