how to stop loving someone and let them go

mineallmine

Hugs to you.
Try swopping the sim as everyone here says with another phone - perhaps your elder son can help? I wonder if fate is trying to force you to let go (not everyone believes in that but each to their own I say).

Take care. Have an indoor picnic on teh carpet if the weather is a bit rubbish. Hugs.

minnie123

How are you feeling now xx

denton6

hi not feeling to bad at the moment, met my friend and children from school today we went for coffee and the kids got to play in the indoor and outdoor play area, very noisy but they had fun. was sorting tonight in the garage and came across lots of the photos of when our oldest was a baby, wow how people change in the way they look. never would have imagined my life would have turned out like this but looking at the photos tonight makes me realise i can still see the happiness in the past, the other week i thought i would never see it. have put my sim card in to my sons spare mobile, it's working but doesnt have any of my saved texts on it or any of my phone numbers. that is hard cos some of them the texts i really needed to keep. must have saved everything onto the phone and not the sim :mad:. boys go away on holiday with there dad on friday count down is on, that time will be hard but am trying to plan things to do,my skin is bit of a mess at the moment so may treat myself to a facial when they are away. also its there dads 40th birthday on saturday, always thought i would be helping to organize a family party to celebrate. no doubt new gf will be seeing to that, i'm sure there will be a works do organized for it though and no doubt i will see the photos on facebook. think a early nite is in order didnt sleep great in the tent last nite, the boys did but dont think they were quite as squashed as me lol . hugs x

ecgirl07

denton6 wrote: »

no doubt i will see the photos on facebook.

Delete his facebook stop using it as stick to punish yourself with. You can see happiness in the past, good, that's a sign you are healing and moving on so work on that. Tomorrow is on you, not what has happened in the past, block his account from your facebook, give yourself a hug and move just a little.

PS hope you have your phone in a dish of rice in the airing cupboard.

susan1105

Hi Wendy, two years ago my life fell apart my husband of 9 years had an affair with someone 17 years younger than him, he has a neice the same age.

I begged via text's and cried down the phone for just over six months. It took me a long time to realise that it was not him I wanted per say, it was someone in my life not to be the single mum at the time the boys where 7, 3 and 3 (twins).

I would never have trusted him again he had stayed for six after I first found out, I didnt trust and if I had I would not have found out that he was still in touch. The first time the twins where 2 and a half and I was a mess and did not hound him for enough details if I had found all the details he should of gone then.

I did keep all his texts for nearly nine months.

Fast forward two years I am still single and do get lonely, he did wait eight months before the boys met her and is a good dad. We get on well but never dicuss anything about our socail life and I never intend on meeting her on a socail event, he has only once picked the kids up with her in the car once and I was pre warned I told him she had to stay in the car :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.

Give yourself targets mine has been updating the house, it gives kick that when he is here looking after the boys he can see that I can cope at times without him, and I have more money than him.

It will be hard there will be really bad days, put sometime you will realise you have not cried for a week, then a month. You will have times when you watch something on tele and you just start but sometimes it helps.

Take care

Scream at the world when kids not in the house.

denton6

phone is back working but not very well. it still has all my texts messages on so am wondering if i take it into a mobile phone shop if they will be able to put the memory onto a memory card. think it wont last to long before it is well and truly wreaked. last message from him was that i was a selfish !!!!! and to be no where near when he picks the boys up on friday for there holidays. he has never ever sent me a text or said anything like that to me before, just goes to show how he has changed so much. and as if i am gonna be no where near i want to give my boys a big hug and kiss before they go away for 9 days .

minnie123

Wow he sounds like a really nasty piece of work - he left you and you are the selfish one - I don't think so.

He sounds extremely immature.

I think you are being amazing I would have told him boys are not going away with him - but I can be quite spiteful xx

Meenu

Wendy u will get through this, believe that. Although these texts are upseting you must see past them.
I would imagine that your children would want to give their mum big hugs and kisses before their holiday too.
Deep breath he really isnt worth it, you are too important to let him make you upset, he is not your life. Gd luck x

mineallmine

Hugs to you.
Here's hoping you can get those texts onto a SIM somehow.
I agree you need to delete that facebook access/friend thing. If he parading her around, well let them go ahread. Yawn, yawn. Picture of them here, there, yawn! He thinks he is possibly looking/acting/feeling younger by doing this. All his 'friends' on Facebook are probably secretly saying, we give it 6 months.
Are there any clubs nearby you can join - to help keep your mind occupied? Yoga classes? Anything?

It's so easy sitting here giving advice like this because of course we are all separate to such an emotional situation. But try, desperately try not to give him any more of yourself, your soul. To be blunt, he is probably getting off on any tears, angry or upset texts or phone calls. The day you stop giving him all this on the plate, is the day he will realise he's made a big mistake.

Plus your children are looking to you as a role model, so it's your chance to be the grown up here. Let them see a strong Mum, a loving Mum and a Mum now forging ahead with a new life.

kizzykizzywizzy

Perhaps it's just as well you may have lost the texts, I had loads & loads of emails from ex professing to love me & miss me like crazy, he'd also sent a picture in which the moose he'd been cheating with was in, I used to go through all of the emails, trying to guess when he'd started cheating etc, so when DS did "something" to the computer & everything was wiped, it was almost a relief.
I'm divorced now, but after being together 21 years & 2 kids ( also 1 baby boy who was prem & died ) I found it very very hard to let go.
It was such a shock & so out of character, like Susan1105, I think the thought of being left alone to cope with 2 children was the most scary part & i'm not going to lie & say it's been easy, my health mental & otherwise has suffered, BUT, I have also had some fantastic times since we've been apart, i've met a lovely man, who the kids really like, still a few financial worries, but one day when that's sorted I will be fine.
I would never take him back EVER, he was so cruel to me & the kids, totally selfish & tbh I don't even think he's happy now..... too bad.