how to stop loving someone and let them go

Schwade

Wendy, why are you doing this to yourself???

Everyone is telling you go out and live your own life. I know its hard. I know you are tempted by checking what he is doing. Fine, do that. But don't waste ALL your time doing that.

You need to go out and join new activities.

We can only be here to support you but if you really want to do something so that you aren't crying and being miserable, you need to do the first step.

mineallmine

Hugs Wendy.

I'd guess that they've gone to Blackpool and York as the girl wouldn't be seen dead in their own back yard/patch. This will fizzle out. Be gentle on yourself. Don't worry about a few days, week or month in advance. Deal with how you feel right now. And stop cyber snooping him. Going back to work will probably help distract you too.

Take care.

denton6

joint account doesnt have any of my money in as had to open my own, but i get the bank statements here and on internet as still officially my account.. have asked and asked for him to change address details, he has just opened a single account for him and all that still came to this address. i have got a single claim for tax credits so he could cause problems for me. have put in for divorce and he has admitted adultury but i havent signed it all yet. my solicitor was bit concerned the other week i prob wasnt in the best state of mind to go through with it at the moment. maybe i should just go ahead and process it now as i do know there is no going back, to much hurt and pain has been caused. have just booked half price seats for the circus tomorrow, but even little things like that all add up. hugs to all who need it will give myself one to lol .

gratefulforhelp_2

Can you stick the stuff back in the post with "not at this address" written on it?
That'll learn him!

denton6

well today going has gone not to bad. 24 years ago today since we met so in the past we have always done something special on this day. the boys are with there dad, they went yesterday and come home tomorrow. 9 year old has just rang me and they are having fun, went out last night to a pampered chief party it was good and then plenty of wine after at friends house. got taxi back home at 2 in the morning then was up for work at half six but managed fine. feel tired now though. today was my last day at work for two weeks so will have to try and think of somethings i want to do. hopefully another positive ish day tomorrow. hugs to anyone that needs them right now x

minnie123

I'm glad you are staying strong - hugs to you you are doing amazing xx

alessev1

I think you just don't stop loving ,just get numb, but with the time gets better!!!
And this is not from a book:)
Massive hugs for you and I hope you find the strength to carry on.

mineallmine

How you doing, what you up to?

denton6

first day of my holidays as i work every weekend so was a bit strange having a little sleep in, have done lots of ironing and bit of gardening and felt fine, boys came home with there dad about 7 soon as little one got out of car he said look at my cap gun ### gonna get me some caps, they have all played happy families today, he even took the boys to her parants house and then she has drove them for a fun day. god it hurts so much, her parents obviosly cant care he is old enough to be her dad or that he has children and there daughter helped break up my family. i was told he asked the boys if they wanted to spend the day with her and they did. feel let down by my boys aswell cos they think she is great. he is on holiday these next two weeks he has plenty of time he can spend with her, why cant he spend time on his own with the boys ? everything going round and round in my head right now also what if she had crashed the car and hurt my boys, i wouldnt have known anything till the police arrived to tell me, there dad drives and i no anyone can have a accident but she could have wipped out my family today. feel as though he is rubbing my nose in it all the time, he knows the boys are goona tell me she has been with them. i know there is no me and him now , next step is getting my head round them playing happy familys with the boys. do you think a 7 and 9 year old should really be asked if they want to spend the day with daddy and his girlfriend. sorry for moan just feel like little steps forward them bang i hit the brick wall. no escape from anything right now.

minnie123

I can see where your coming from and I would feel exactly the same especially the driving thing. Her family does sound a little weird and I still don't think it's going to last between them. I think if it was me I would say to him you have no prob with her being there with the boys if thats what he wants but as she is a stranger to you he must always be there looking after them not her and that goes for the being in control of a vehicle they are in. I don't think I have worded this very well and I don't know whether it's the best thing to do but I think I would have to say something if it was me. Hopefully someone else can give some advice on this. xx