Too young to have my baby?

CFC

FC, the pandering to individualism is what brings this situation about. There are no happy outcomes in this situation. We can only advise according to our lights. The majority of teenage births do NOT turn out well. Perhaps this lass comes from a well heeled family who are willing and able to support, in which case the baby may be lucky although it will still wreck this child's future life in many respects.

Again I say that anyone who tells her to 'do what she wants' is not being honest about their own opinion and abandoning their responsibilities as an adult, or simply trying to avoid expressing an opinion and substituting it with vague well wishes and a 'luvvie hug', in which case you are actually encouraging her to keep this baby and bring it up. Is that what you really think she should do, if you do then fair play?

Angel I think you should get off the fence. This youngster asked for opinions in her first post. If you think that the mother/baby bond is so wonderful that she should keep this opportunity in order to have it then I do not agree but I respect your opinion.

angel223_2

..................................

JaneRN

CFC wrote: »

.

Jane RN, you are incorrect. To be more explicit, I have no living children and now also have no living stepchildren.. So we both know what sex is. Does that advance the discussion or change opinions? Does my opinion gain extra points for personal loss? Or less? Or do you just like to satisfy idle curiousity?


In the old days, individuals suffered the full poverty and opprobium of society for their sexual mistakes - which may be hard on the individuals concerned but meant that it prevented a lot of early pregnancies. .

CFC wrote: »

Yup I'm a doggy bum wiper too. Thought as I don't have children I'd never be doing the bum wipe stuff!

I was taking at face value a statement you made in another thread. I can't understand why you feel you need to offer an opinion on something you feel so hostile about? I have my strong personal beliefs on many subjects - including wiping dogs !!!!!! - but I don't feel the need to offend people as you evidently do. If someone asks for an opinion on something, I start with declaring my interest in that particular area and state my opinion then. You come in to attack and I don't like people who just want to upset others, that's nastiness on your part.

nomoreheroes

Odette wrote: »

Do you really want to give up any dreams you might have had for a career or travel or whatever at this point, for a screaming baby?

I'm 24 and I wouldn't in a million years.

Good, you sound too self centred.

myothercarisaferrari

nomoreheroes wrote: »

Good, you sound too self centred.

why on earth does she sound self centred??! cos she doesnt want to have a baby at her age and enjoy herself why she is young?

Person_one

nomoreheroes wrote: »

Good, you sound too self centred.

Deciding to have children is just as selfish an act as deciding not to have them.

Sometimes, selflessness happens when the children are older

Person_one

blue_monkey wrote: »

I see what you are getting at but at 15 you are still a child and men can go to prison for having sex with a child. If your boyfriend had been 17 it would have been 'fine' as he was a teenager? Had he been 27, 37 or older then he would have been a pa edophile - because its illegal to have sex with a child.

Where is the fun in that? And who is it fun for?

It's a good job we have a fantastic and generous benefits system to fall back on though, heaven help what anyone would do without that. Be more careful maybe?

My boyfriend when I was 15 was also 15.

Yes, an adult having sex with a child is illegal, so surely that means grown adults just need to refrain from sex with children, too obvious?

I was clearly not talking about pa edophiles or abusive relationships, just normal teenage ones, which are quite often how we learn to grow into adult ones.

Without our benefits system, a lot more children would be malnourished, in poor health and homeless. The benefits system in this sense is not there to modify the behaviour of adults, its there to safeguard children who are completely innocent of their parent's mistakes and do not deserve to be punished for them.

mum2many

Cait2 wrote: »

Hiya,
Sorry to make this my first post!!:)I read this section a lot as well as a few other forums and I'm now in a situation that I think I will need some advice and opinions:o
I turned 16 in January (this year) and I've been with my boyfriend a year. We didn't really have any serious plans like marriage, or children, although we knew we wanted to have our future together and get to those things at some point:)On May 29th I found out I was pregnant (with his child, not been with anybody else:eek:). I had been taking the pill and expected that to work...:(That is another story though.
I've spoken to him about it and his mum knows (don't know his dad neither does he) and my parents too. His mum said I should get an abortion, I'm too young and the risks too much:(My parents both say it is up to me, but how I would manage is what worries them and the money too.
My boyfriend (John) thinks we keep it, he's reduced to tears if I say "right I think I should get rid of the baby now". I have to make up my mind obviously but I don't know how. Johns opinion matters. I don't know what I want!!:( I would have to find a new home for my dog.... I put my money I earn from my partime job into my dog and save up the rest... John has a full time job, he is one year older than me. I don't know what to do.. opinions?:o

Hi

all i want to say is make sure whatever descision you make is yours 100%.

i had my children at 17, 21, 22 and 27. yes it was difficult but i wouldnt change it. my eldest is 18 this year and we are more like sisters. i also know i can start a career and not have to take a break to have children when most people are only just starting theirs.

pm me if you want a chat

em x

JaneRN

Person_one wrote: »

Deciding to have children is just as selfish an act as deciding not to have them.

Sometimes, selflessness happens when the children are older

What a load of rubbish - as a 16 year old I was so selfish that I forgot any idea of staying on to 6th form and to continue my education to pursue my career in medicine as I had originally intended. Instead I decided to selfishly to allow my unborn son to continue his development in my body. Do you want me to ask my son to document his opinion of how selfish I was? He is quite bemused at the comments he has read here, suggesting I was selfish allowing him existance.
You may all like to think you are talking about a non entity in your blase sweeping statements but when you make such awful suggestions I look at my son and think you are talking about him.

Person_one

JaneRN wrote: »

What a load of rubbish - as a 16 year old I was so selfish that I forgot any idea of staying on to 6th form and to continue my education to pursue my career in medicine as I had originally intended. Instead I decided to selfishly to allow my unborn son to continue his development in my body. Do you want me to ask my son to document his opinion of how selfish I was? He is quite bemused at the comments he has read here, suggesting I was selfish allowing him existance.
You may all like to think you are talking about a non entity in your blase sweeping statements but when you make such awful suggestions I look at my son and think you are talking about him.

Of course its not rubbish. Most people have children because they want them, even with unplanned pregnancies people have a choice these days.

A minority of people feel so strongly about the 'rights' of a foetus that they put it above their own wants and desires, and if you are one of those people then yes, you were selfless.

But then, is it truly a good deed to bring a child into the world that isn't truly wanted? Wouldn't you be selfishly putting your own principles above the wellbeing of the potential child? Because being unwanted is not the best start in life.

So you either selfishly had your son because you wanted to keep him despite less than ideal circumstances, or selfishly gestated him even though you didn't want him at all to satisfy your moral code.

Basically, a lot of the decisions that we humans make are fundamentally selfish, whether or not to have a child is no different.

EDIT: by the way, nobody is talking about your son, stop taking people's opinions so personally!