Too young to have my baby?

CFC

As I stated before

abortion
adoption (inter familial potentially if her parents or his parents or other relatives are willing)

and do not repeat the same behaviour in future. As she could get pregnant multiple times, it is right to keep reiterating 'don't do it'. This child basically appears to want to keep the pregnancy going because she's afraid her boyfriend will leave her if she doesn't. She's been with him a year and think she has to give him a say. I think that says it all.

angel223_2

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Fang_3

angel223 wrote: »

I dont think it did prevent alot of early pregnancies it was just delt with in a different way which caused alot of suffering mainly to women and children.....often the man could walk away scott free and have his life largly uneffected. 'The bigger picture' was many women dying due to back street abortions, untold mental and physical hardship, child mortality rates were much higher, more children suffered malnutrition, chldren expected to work at a young age so they could survive. Many of these young pregnant women were forced to seperate from their family and give up their baby against their will some of which never got over that trauma. I for one would never want our society to go back to those dark dark days.

In our society today far to much emphasis is put on educating (and blaming) girls, what about the boys?
Ask yourself why is it so acceptable in this society for a man to walk away from a child he helped create and yet a mother who has been left holding the baby, struggling to survive and do the right thing by her child is villified for needing even the smallest ammount of state benefit. (and having been there I can assure you the ammount is shocking) even when your supporting your baby with no help from the state if your young your still villified and stereotyped by an awful awful lot of people. Strangers in the street who for some reason beyond me feel the need to tell you what a drain you are on society / that your scum / spit on you (yes it happened) etc etc.

Walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me....

Not even greedy politicians who abuse the system for far far more money get villified like this and IMO it needs to stop. People need to question everything esp what they are told by goverment.....Or do you believe propaganda no longer exsists...

Simply because the man can not have an abortion, or take the morning after pill. Once sex has occurred the man has no rights to what happens. Perhaps rightly or wrongly, but I feel very strongly that it is wrong to expect a man to pay when he has made it perfectly clear that he does not want a child. Why is it acceptable to force a man to have a child, or be denied a child, but not the woman?

Turn it on its head: if there was an accidental pregnancy and the man wanted to keep it, but the woman did not, where would his rights be?

You can't have want equal responsibility without equal rights.

Why are you bringing politicians into this? They contribute far more to society than child-mothers.

blue_monkey_2

If there was no benefits to be gotten out of this then what would the OP do then? Would they even consider this without there being benefits available? And you can rely on no-one because it is selfish to think that you can expect your parents to give up their life to look after your child while you get a job to support that child. Unless of course you can afford Nursery Fees.

I would be hugely disappointed if my CHILD fell pregnant and having bought my own children up I would not want it to be expected that I bring up another child while my own child goes to school/college. Call me selfish if you want but I decided only to have 2 children for a reason and intend to get some of my life back when my children are old enough - not go on to care for another baby.

Two tablets is all it takes now so there is no huge procedure but while my child is still dependant on me for money I should also have a say in whether or not I support another mouth in the house. And I would say no. And she would also get her !!!! kicked for being so stupid. Being grounded does not even begin to cover it. Babies can come later after she has had a life, learned to drive, got a decent education and qualifications to make something of her life, maybe even travel the world. As someone stated, having babies is all well and good but you cannot swan off and leave then to fend for themselves for a year so you can see the world, and later when they are old enough and you are in your 30's you have to save enough to pay the mortgage/rent/bills when you are off travelling the world that you always wanted to do. Only most won't. I'd hate for my child to miss their opportunities for being so stupid and reckless.

Is there really any need for children to be having sex. And yes, they are children in the eyes of the law. They might think they are grown up but they are children, and that is why you still get CHILD benefit and CHILD Tax Credits for them, because they are children that cannot support themselves financially.

ticklepenny_2

To OP

Make lists, what are you planning on doing with your life with a baby/ without a baby?

speak to the ladies on the pregnancy thread and look into what the birth process involves here

At the end of the day the only person you can truly rely on is yourself, so as long as you are happy with your decision that is all that matters.

HTH

angel223_2

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Person_one

blue_monkey wrote: »

Is there really any need for children to be having sex. And yes, they are children in the eyes of the law. They might think they are grown up but they are children, and that is why you still get CHILD benefit and CHILD Tax Credits for them, because they are children that cannot support themselves financially.

I get your point with most of your post, but the bolded bit is really a bit unrealistic. Teenagers will always be attracted to each other, have sexual feelings and act on them. Frankly, as long as they are sensible and aware of the consequences, why shouldn't they? Sex is great, its part of a fulfilling healthy relationship and a fact of life for most people.

I started having sex at 15, ten years later I've never been pregnant. It is possible! I really don't think its fair that a 16 year old can have a job, join the army, even get married, but they are expected to abstain from one of the most basic joys in life.

Should everybody who isn't in an ideal position to raise a child abstain from sex? Unemployed people, immature 30 year olds, people who hate children, single people etc?

It seems like a lot of people of all ages are woefully under-informed about contraception. They know the basics, but not enough to avoid being the 1% that make up the failure rate. being 'on the pill' isn't really good enough if you aren't strict about taking it exactly as instructed and knowing the backup procedures.

myothercarisaferrari

Lilacpixie - it was my choice to go on both. The depo was originally to stop my periods as they were heavy, and I took the pill as I was so scared of getting pregnant. I had to go to different practices to get them though as my own doctor thought it was too much, which in hindsight it was but it never stopped me getting pregnant

snugglepet20

This poor girl came on here looking for some helpful advice and instead she has been attacked and persecuted. None of you know her or her boyfriend so you have no right to judge them. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone etc.

To the OP if you decide to keep your baby you will have to face other peoples negative attitudes towards you and you will have to be strong enough to let it go over your head. Raising children is the hardest and worst job in the world yet it is also the best job in the world. Are you prepared to give up your freedom and put your childs needs first every time? You will have to give up a lot of your sleep (no lie-ins for the next 12 years), your socialising (people say they'll help but they rarely do) and a lot of your friends (the places you can take a small child and keep them entertained are pretty limited and eventually people will stop inviting you). Children are also very expensive and you will have to go without to make sure they have new clothes and toys etc.

It all boils down to making a decision based solely on what you want and only you, no one else in the world matters. You are the one who has to be pregnant and be the mother and you cannot ever walk away from that. Forget everyone else they will cope no matter what but if you feel pressured into having or not having your baby by other people you will regret your decision forever. If you do what you want and feel is right for you then that will always be the right thing to do.

CFC

Angel, it did prevent a lot of pregnancies. The only data I can lay my hands on easily is US data but I am positive that the same kind of trends are demonstrable in the UK as we are talking WASP attitudes.

The birth rate increased from 7 births per 1,000 unmarried women aged 15-44 in 1940 to 44 per 1,000 in 1990 (tables 1 and 2, figure 1).
Trends in rates have been cyclical for most age groups, except the rates for teenagers. Teen rates rose, almost without interruption, from 1940 to 1990.
The number of nonmarital births rose 13-fold between 1940 and 1990, from 89,500 in 1940 to 1.2 million in 1990.
30% of these non marital live births were to teenagers.

There were 1.3 million pregnancies in the US of teenagers between the ages of 13-19 in 1983.

Figures released for the uk in 2006 said that out of every thousand British women aged between 15 and 19, 30.8 are mothers. About a fifth of the mothers will have two children by the time they are 19.

for europe, teenage birth rates fell during the 1970's across europe except for the UK, where rates have remained fairly stable since 1969.

Yes, there are some young single mothers who it all works out for, but let's be quite frank, all the major studies have clearly demonstrated that youngsters are not socially, emotionally, physically, psychologically or economically equipped to have children. That is why the policy group was tasked with halving the teen pregnancy rate, however it has failed.

Research has proven the following in the uk:

Babies tend to have a lower than average birth weight
(Botting et al., 1998)
• Infant mortality in this group is 60% higher than for
babies of older women (Berthoud, 2001)
• Some 44% of mothers under 20 breastfeed, compared
to 64% of 20–24 year olds and up to 80% of older
mothers (Botting et al., 1998)
• Children of teenage mothers are more likely to have
the experience of being a lone parent family, and are
generally at increased risk of poverty, poor housing and
having bad nutrition (Botting et al., 1998)
• Daughters of teenage mothers may be more likely to
become teenage parents themselves (Botting et al.,
1998; Kiernan, 1995).
Negative short, medium and long-term health and
mental health outcomes for young mothers (Botting
et al., 1998)
• Education and employment – as well as being more
likely to have problems at school before they become
pregnant, young mothers are less likely to complete
their education, have no qualifications by age 33, be
in receipt of benefits and if employed be on lower
incomes than their peers (SEU, 1999)
• Housing – 80% of under 18 mothers live in someone
else’s household (eg parents) (Botting et al., 1998),
and teenagers are more likely to have to move house
during pregnancy
• Family – teenage mothers are more likely to be
lone parents (Kiernan, 1995), and more likely to
find themselves in the middle of family conflict
(SEU, 1999)
• Young fathers – although there is little data on this
group, health, economic and employment outcomes
for young fathers post-parenthood seem to be similar
to those of young mothers (Kiernan, 1995).

Abortion or adoption are the wisest courses.

I understand how 'unfair' it seems that the male gets away 'scot free' while the girl is left holding the baby - but that's biology and no 'sex discrimination act' can argue with it.