Too young to have my baby?

Fang_3

hngrymummy wrote: »

Fang, I want to live in your world where rape doesn't exist!

I think that sex-education needs to take some responsibility for the levels of teen pregnancies. Claiming that the Pill, condoms, etc are 'safe sex', which young people believe. They're not. They're just 'less risky sex'. No kind of sex is safe. The OP has discovered this, and is trying to make the best of her situation. I say fair play to her. It's not what she had planned for her life, and she's still going to do her utmost to create, and make the most of, opportunities to do the best she can for her and her child.

Excuse me? The morning after pill exists. If you leave it too late then, abortion exists. There's absolutely NO excuse to have a baby if you can't provide for it. None.

samandona

JaneRN wrote: »

I was one of those girls and did rely on benefits for a few years, but as soon as I was able, I went to work, first part time and then full time. I've paid back that money many times over.

How have you 'paid back that money many times over'?

Have you been charged an extra tax that everyone who has never claimed benefits has to pay?

Im unsure as to why you think you have repaid your debt to society. Does that mean that people who have never claimed any benefits are indebted to the government and should receive some sort of cash lump sum?

JaneRN

Fang wrote: »

Excuse me? The morning after pill exists. If you leave it too late then, abortion exists. There's absolutely NO excuse to have a baby if you can't provide for it. None.

Are you saying my son should not be here, would you have forced me to have an abortion against my will?
If my son asked the same question would you tell him he has no right to be alive today?

Fang_3

JaneRN wrote: »

Are you saying my son should not be here, would you have forced me to have an abortion against my will?
If my son asked the same question would you tell him he has no right to be alive today?

Clearly I am not saying that. I'm saying that there is never an excuse to have a baby if you cannot provide for it. There are options available to at first prevent pregnancy, then to prevent conception and finally to prevent development and birth.

I'm sure you'd love to try and make this all very emotive, but the facts are that anyone who has a baby without the ability to provide for it is nothing more than a leech on others.

JaneRN

samandona wrote: »

How have you 'paid back that money many times over'?

Have you been charged an extra tax that everyone who has never claimed benefits has to pay?

Im unsure as to why you think you have repaid your debt to society. Does that mean that people who have never claimed any benefits are indebted to the government and should receive some sort of cash lump sum?

Don't be silly now you know exactly what I mean. When we pay our taxes a portion of this will go towards benefits, whether we need them or not. The amount I have paid into this far exceeds the amount I have received. Great for those who never needed it, but most people will rely on some benefits from the government, even if it's child benefit, free dental care, prescriptions etc for themselves or their children. I also pay for plenty of public amentites and services that I have no need of - like a lot of other people. So yes I feel I can say I have paid back in full the amount of benefits I received at that time - and hope to contribute to the "public pot" for at least another 20 years - and hope I never need to take out of this pot again before I retire. If however I do I will do so with a clear conscience.

margaretclare

JaneRN wrote: »

Are you saying my son should not be here, would you have forced me to have an abortion against my will?
If my son asked the same question would you tell him he has no right to be alive today?

According to this argument I should not be here either.

Contraception would not have been available to my mum, abortion did not become legal for another 30 years, there were no benefits whatsoever - Family Allowance (the precursor of Child Benefit) was payable only in respect of the second and subsequent children, not for the first.

Information has recently become available about what happened to children put into children's homes - what almost happened to me. I'd have been unlikely to go to grammar school, very unlikely to stay on the extra year to do 'O' levels (now GCSEs). It doesn't bear thinking about. Thank you, Granny Hannah, Grandad Daniel, Auntie Lilian, and my mum.

Fang_3

JaneRN wrote: »

Don't be silly now you know exactly what I mean. When we pay our taxes a portion of this will go towards benefits, whether we need them or not. The amount I have paid into this far exceeds the amount I have received. Great for those who never needed it, but most people will rely on some benefits from the government, even if it's child benefit, free dental care, prescriptions etc for themselves or their children. I also pay for plenty of public amentites and services that I have no need of - like a lot of other people. So yes I feel I can say I have paid back in full the amount of benefits I received at that time - and hope to contribute to the "public pot" for at least another 20 years - and hope I never need to take out of this pot again before I retire. If however I do I will do so with a clear conscience.

I don't think so. You have paid whatever everyone else pays, but taken more.

Fang_3

margaretclare wrote: »

According to this argument I should not be here either.

Good job no one's suggested it then.

JaneRN

Fang wrote: »

I don't think so. You have paid whatever everyone else pays, but taken more.

Everyone else does NOT pay and I would argue that I have had less than most people and have replaced what I did have many times over.

skint-student-nurse

Cait, i was 18 when i fell pregnant,unplanned but i went on to have a happy and healthy baby at 19. My OH (DD's dad) wanted me to have an abortion and i was all set for that until i got rushed into hospital,had an emergency scan and saw a little blob that changed my life forever....

i was a single mum for the first year or so but in that time, i went on to start a degree and make many new friends through uni and baby groups. i worked all through my pregnancy (although i was working here an there to begin with it was topped up with JSA - for the benefit (pardon the pun) of those who may have something to say about that,every penny of JSA i was given was paid back as it was taken out of my maternity pay). i bought a few things here and there and managed to get everything i needed by myself.

i appreciate your situation, my OH and i disagreed on what we should do with the pregnancy. at the end of the day only you,and you alone, can make your mind up - its your mind,your body and you are the one that has to live with your decision.

good luck with whatever you decide to do

Skint x