Too young to have my baby?

jimbms

Fang wrote: »

I totally agree, but I think even joking about trying to get her brother to move out shows a level of immaturity that doesn't grasp the magnitude of becoming a mother.

I take it you also think becoming a parent means you have to forego a sense of humour, lighten up she is a young girl who has found herself in a situation she never expected, she then found out her bf is not that commited to her and has had to make a very serious decission after I guess a lot of upsetting thought. She has now sorted out what she wishes to do and has been given support of her parents who will help her so she can finish her education and secure decent future, after all that has happened I can guess she feels great relief that things are not as dire as she expected and in feeling that way makes a light hearted comment on her brother moving out, what happens then is some miserable killjoy tries to put her down for making a joke. I would say what she has been through over the past short period and how she has sorted thing out shows a great deal of maturity and indicates she is fully aware and well prepared for the ups and downs of parenthood, whereas your attitude shows a high level of immaturity in the way you think it is a clever act to try to belittle this girl.

12november2010

Fang wrote: »

How delightfully mature. Good lord.

I'm afraid this is an attitude the OP is going to have to get used to.

Fang - I agree with you. Perhaps I am old fashioned too, in thinking that one should be able to provide for their offspring before they produce any. I was somewhat disheartened to see a link posted to a benefits website, presumably so the OP could see what she would be 'entitled' to. This is not the sort of thing we should be encouraging her to do.

The reality of the situation is that a 16 year old girl has found herself in a quite unplanned situation. Yes, we should be wishing her luck for her future...

However,

The "leave her alone" comment also worried me. This girl is about to take on sole responsibility of a tiny baby. It is HER who is now going to have to stop being looked after, and start looking after someone else. A child.

A lot have commented on the maturity of the OP. This is not something that has stuck me particularly. She seems like an average 16 year old to me - one still heavily reliant on her parents. That is not to say I am critising the girl, it is simply something I have noted.

She looks to have what will be supportive parents - for this, they can only be commended. However, raising this child is something the OP must be fully prepared to do alone. Sadly, I lost both my parents at 18 (it is the 50th anniversary of their death on 12th November 2010). It was not expected and hit me very hard. Despite having a hugely supportive (much) older sister there is no way I could have raised a baby alone; I struggled just to feed myself for years after their death.

While I admire the OP's courage and wish her all the very best, I fear she does not fully grasp this situation she is entering into.

Regards,

KSP

angie_baby

To be honest, and im not being nasty, you will need to grow a thick skin and take more than just the comments on a forum like this.

I to had my DS at 16 went to work at 17 and havent stopped since, i remember comments from OAP's on the bus that i was taking their pension money. Ive had to put up with dirty looks while out shopping. Same when your at parents evening and your DS is having troubles they just put it down to you, being a young parent, single or not. You just have to accept this and move on and try your hardest.

Anyway, good luck and best wishes OP.

fireflycatcher

12november2010 why did you make an account just for this thread?

gravitytolls

Fang wrote: »

I totally agree, but I think even joking about trying to get her brother to move out shows a level of immaturity that doesn't grasp the magnitude of becoming a mother.

Blimey, we're a couple of veritable old codgers and we're always joking about putting our offspring on the council housing list. It's just a joke, maybe a 16 yr old's joke, but why shouldn't it be, she is 16.

With the right support, many 16 yr olds make wonderful parents, some are lousy, much the same as more 'mature parents.

Good luck pet, you'll be fine, a little baby, a wonderful thing, you enjoy it.

12november2010

AmandaAyrshire - Everybody has to start somewhere.

12november2010

My son has just shown me how to view other posts by 'Fang', and I am really quite offended by your assumption that we are one and the same! He is abrupt, on occasion rude, and rather forthcoming with his views.

I simply agreed with him; I believe parents should be able to provide for their children without relying on others to the extent this 16 year old girl will have to.

Goodness, some people are so quick to judge!

gravitytolls

12november2010 wrote: »

My son has just shown me how to view other posts by 'Fang', and I am really quite offended by your assumption that we are one and the same! He is abrupt, on occasion rude, and rather forthcoming with his views.

I simply agreed with him; I believe parents should be able to provide for their children without relying on others to the extent this 16 year old girl will have to.

Goodness, some people are so quick to judge!

In an ideal world, but life is rarely so straight forward. The welfare state is terriblt flawed, but I'd far rather be discussing how a 16 yr old will cope with her baby, than be discussing how she was forced into a miserable marriage or sent to a mother and baby 'home' and her child forcibly removed for adoption.

She will need lots of support, but hopefully with thast she will mature into a loving mother who's had the opportunity to finish her education and be able to support both herself and child, with her BF.

margaretclare

angie_baby wrote: »

To be honest, and im not being nasty, you will need to grow a thick skin and take more than just the comments on a forum like this.

I to had my DS at 16 went to work at 17 and havent stopped since, i remember comments from OAP's on the bus that i was taking their pension money. Ive had to put up with dirty looks while out shopping. Same when your at parents evening and your DS is having troubles they just put it down to you, being a young parent, single or not. You just have to accept this and move on and try your hardest.

Anyway, good luck and best wishes OP.

I don't understand that. How were you 'taking their pension money'?

In fact, you were one of the working population who actually provides our pension money. For which, thank you very much.

pske_lisa

Hi Cait,

I just wanted to say good luck to you for now and the future.

A girl I knew at school fell pregnant at 13/14 and had a baby, went on to have 2 more and they have been together for approx 11/12 years. I don't think it was easy for them, but they made it work.

Lisa x